muse; nasir jones

twenty-one ➢ green-eyed monster

sept. 24, 1993
college really were the major leagues. siya's father seemed to find a new way to nag every time she heard from him. he still couldn't believe she decided to go out of state. outside of that it seemed like no one had time for her. her mother had a career to keep up with. celine had classes and a recital to rehearsal than audition for. nas and clif were always in the studio. when she finally got him to herself that damn pager would be beeping - especially on thursdays. what was so special about thursdays? he'd hold her hand while he chatted away on the phone. she just knew it was another woman on the phone and the casualty of the conversation proved it couldn't possibly be his mother. at first she thought nothing of it, but after that conversation; the day he found out about one of his homeboys he was on the phone talking than he smiled. a genuine toothy smile than he laughed. a real deep from the belly laugh she'd been missing.

she couldn't stop thinking about the exchange all week. even thought about asking her best friend about it, but they both had real things to worry about. nas couldn't be cheating if they weren't officially together right? he was a good guy right?

he walked her to the library and like he always did he kissed her forehead with words of encouragement. unfortunately for her a group project forced her to be in a library instead of in her dorm overthinking. she was the second person from her group of 4 to arrive. the first was a guy - julian. the campus was large and the student body was diverse, but black people didn't make up a huge percent. julian was a tall brownskinned brother with light brown eyes. he was handsome, smart, and smooth as hell. not like he really made a move on siya, but she seen him in action a couple of times. even seen a girl fan herself and have to collect her thoughts after he spit game. he was also a new york native.

"what's up girl?" he greeted flipping through the book that he held. definitely not what they were working on, but she didn't mind since they were the only two there.

"hey julian. what you reading up on?" she asked.

"autobiography of albert einstein" he replied eyes glued to the pages.

"must be interesting" she uttered retrieving her psych book from her bag. it was her favorite in high school and somehow she fell more in love the more she learned.

"he was a strange man" julian smirked finally glancing up at her than closed the book. soon his psych book and notepad were on the table. the other two arrived after sometime. they went over all the notes they took and exchanged ideas. they had been brainstorming for a few days on what to talk about - siya was grateful they finally decided on a topic. the other girl - lisa an asian girl from boston - wrote down all of the stuff that was discussed. bruce - an indian boy who siya wasn't sure exactly where he was from - was really good at piggybacking off of everyone - left first than lisa. once again it was just the two.

"sooo" siya spoke awkwardly, "where you headed? or is this your free?"

"it's actually not my free, but i need a nap before work so" he shrugged as they cleaned up after themselves. siya cleaned the white board that he received from the girl who worked in the library.

"you have a job? where?" she wiped her hands after they put the supplies away.

"a diner. my pops kind of owns it. i've seen you in there a few times actually" he leaned against the chair giving his full attention.

"i'll make sure to speak next time" she laughed shortly.

"you do that" he laughed along than shook his head, "did you need me to-"

siya noticed nas walking into the library and stood to her feet before giving julian an apologetic look.

"i'll see you around. tomorrow same time?" she offered as nas made his way towards them. julian gave him a head nod which he returned.

"right." he pushed both of their chairs in than pulled his bag over his shoulder.

siya placed her hand in nas' and as soon as they were out of the library his pager sounded. she rolled her eyes as he looked down at it.

"there's a phone over there" she pointed and nas looked over at her taking notice to her tone.

"you alright ma?" he asked before they approached the pay phone.

"yeah. just tired" she lied. he gave her a once over than picked up the phone.

she practically held her breath to hear the voice on the other end. it was a higher octave and her suspicion were right - it was a girl. her blood began to boil. she had never felt so so - she didn't know, but it didn't feel good. nas was laughing and smiling ear to ear. her nas. laughing with another woman. smiling at something another woman said. the conversation seemed to drag on, but eventually he hung up and his hand was in hers again. she remained quiet as they made their way to her dorm.

"you sure you good?" nas asked. she simply nodded.

once they reached her building she turned to him with a pout.

"actually i'm not feeling too good. i think i'll take a nap and call you later" she lied not giving him time to kiss her temple as she stormed the building.

she ran all the way to her dorm which caused some of the girls to stare, but she didn't care. for the first time in a while she actually wanted to be alone. once inside her dorm she sighed.

"shit, girl you scared me" celine huffed with her hand over her chest.

"sorry" siya mumbled causing her to shrug and go back to her stretching, "you got rehearsals?"

"yep" celine replied popping the 'p'. she looked over at her reflection in the mirror touching up her edges like they weren't already perfect.

"what's up with you? where nas?" celine asked once she turned around with an eyebrow risen before adjusting the strap of her dance bag.

"you got a few minutes?" siya plopped on to her bed. celine looked at her than dropped her bag motioning for her to keep talking.

"i know we aren't technically together or anything, but i think nas is seeing someone behind my back" she sighed looking down at her socks.

"what makes you think that? that boy is head over heels for you" celine placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"his pager is always going off. every thursday he just has to be on a phone - today i hear a girl's voice and i know it ain't his mama. he was just grinning and laughing. made my damn stomach hurt" she confessed the last part with a roll of the eyes.

"did you talk to him?" celine asked tying her shoes than placed her hand on her hip when she was finished.

"no. it's a lot on his plate right now - i might just be thinking too deep because he too busy for me" siya huffed.

"ok so let me get this straight" she said placing a finger to her chin, "you miss him; when he finally has some down time you send him away because he been talking to some chicken head on the phone?"

siya frowned and fell back into her pillows, "when you say it like that i really feel like an idiot. i've never done the whole dating thing y'know?"

"girl don't be missing out on a good time. so you like him and he clearly likes you it's not like he all up in this other girl face. for all we know it might be that foxy girl they perform with or a cousin" celine smoothed her hair away from her flushed roommates face.

"thanks cel. you need me to walk you to-"

"uh see actually clif will probably be here soon. his free is almost over. gotta make time for the things you want. don't count nas out so quickly" celine spoke still caressing her soft coils.

"you're right" siya turned on her back and gave her roommate a thumbs up. clif knocked than waved at siya before the couple were off.