muse; nasir jones

twenty-three: awkward endeavors

oct. 16, 1993

the summer heat was history. siya pouted seated in the back of the library glancing down at the watch on her wrist. she contemplating leaving - she was the only person in her group that showed. the first couple of times since being assigned this group project everyone showed up and contributed in one way or another, but lately either she was alone or with julian. it's like they would have to do this for much longer - which further confused her - the assignment was due soon. why depend on others for your grade? if it wasn't for 40% of her final grade she'd probably taken nas up on his offer to skip and sit in the studio.

the pair were inseparably the past few days. nas even fell asleep in her dorm one night after some studying and listening to music. he was so smart - it didn't surprise her really it just was so cute when he was explaining what he was learning. he was amazing with science and anything that involved numbers. he oiled her scalp since she'd just got long box braids while too much heaven by the bee gees played in the background. they took turns playing their favorite albums. most of the stuff her boyfriend played was older than he was.

she was snapped out of her daydream eruptly as julian huffed. his bag landed on the small table she sat at.

"my apologies i was out of it and didn't hear my alarm" julian dug through his bag as he spoke.

"it's fine" siya replied, "it's probably just going to be the two of us again"

whenever the pair worked at the library they focused on just that. since the assignment was almost done, siya had wrote what she thought was the final draft and he did the proofreading. this was the third time he handed it back to her - with barely any red markings. even though they didn't know each other outside of the library she could tell from his little feedback he was a very complex type. every theory needed an explanation. every explanation needed evidence. he left no room for misinterpretation. she slide the folder of papers over for him to criticize.

"you would think we were actually friends" julian joked after sliding her folder back unmarked.

"aren't we?" she teased.

"do you think i'm a know-it-all?" he challenged observing her.

"do you think i'm a know-it-all?" she shot right back noticing him shift in his chair.

"i did ask you first"

"such a gentlemen" she rolled her eyes causing him to laugh shortly.

"i think you're smart, yes. i didn't mean to push you too hard - this is my grade too y'know?" he referred to the previous papers he'd left tidbits on.

"oh, i completely understand. i can admit you gave me an extra push" she shrugged.

"if this were a solo assignment i would have handed in my best so..." he made a face than shrugged too.

"i would have gave it my all too, but again you brought out my best writing. i'm not much of a writer"

"so what are you exactly?" he narrowed his deep brown eyes at her as if he could figure her out with just one glance over - like one of the few books she had noticed him reading.

"an artist. better with the visuals than anything" she replied.

"is that why you came to nyu?" he asked.

"you're asking all these question like we friends" she crossed her arms over her chest than sent him a look.

"i'm just curious is all. this will probably be the last time we see each other y'know. you aren't from around here"

"you got me there."

"did i crack the case?" his eyebrows wiggled. she narrowed her eyes at him than shook her head no. he groaned than his eyes fell back on the pages of his book.

"i'm from houston. my parents weren't the most supportive, but i belong here" she stated after several moments of silence. he perched his lips taking in this new information.

"i'm from here. not sure if i belong though" he stated with his eyes still glued to the book he read. again they both fell silent until celine appeared over his shoulder signaling for her roommate to hurry. she handed him the folder before zipping her bag closed and he cleaned the table.

"i'll see you around friend" siya patted him on the shoulder as she walked in the direction of her friend.

"and who is that?" celine asked pointing backwards in the direction that julian stood.

"julian. can you believe it's supposed to be four of us and we-"

"girl he fine! you sure y'all actually got any work done?" celine popped her gum after they walked through the exit.

"i have a boyfriend" siya stated, "and if you let me finish i would have told you the other two ditched us. we had to do most of the work!"

"if i was you i would have put some work in too" celine joked.

"i thought you liked clif" siya rolled her neck and celine avoided her eye contact, "chicken head i'm talking to you"

"what? girl i'm feeling clif yeah sure, but i'm young. i'm single. i'm fine. plus, method man got other things occupying his time" celine toyed with the strap of her gym bag and siya could tell she felt a way.

"what you mean? he messing around?" siya asked zipping her thin jacket as they walked through the fall air. sometimes she missed texas weather.

"it's like the more shows they do the more girls flock to him. he clearly likes the attention" celine released a deep breath. "i'm not too sure that's his only stream of income either"

"i'm not connecting the dots" siya side-eyed her. her best friend looked around before her voice was barely above a whisper against the wind.

"i've been to that club. my cousin told me about some of the people that hang out there. i've seen stuff in his dorm and i shouldn't even be accusing-"

"cee, timeout" the southern beauty tapped her fingertips against her palm "what kind of stuff?"

"don't tell nas" she practically begged and she agreed.

"one night we were in his dorm and he was taking a nap or whatever. his pager starts going off like back to back type shit but he sleeps heavy so i start feeling around in his bag. i unzip it and it was pills like lots of them. weed too, but i know he smokes."

siya's eyes grows big, but celine signals that she isn't finished.

"i close it back and move back on the bed to wake him. told him about the pager he gets up quick and grabs his bag. tells me to stay put. didn't come back for a few hours than walked me to our room"

"why didn't you say anything to me? some best friend i have" siya nudged her to lighten to mood and she smiles.

"i'm your best friend? awww" celine placed a hand over her heart with a deep pout causing her dimples to show.

"that's besides the point" she pointed a finger at her.

"i know i know. you right. it was weird. i wanted to just forget about it honestly. i really do appreciate you"

"you know i'll always have your back. i was about to cuss that boy out and get into it with my man too if it meant you'd feel better"

"don't let me being paranoid come in-between you and yo boo" they both laughed.

"bring all the drama! i really don't give a damn" siya stated plainly causing them to laugh again.

"i'll talk to him about it - he just don't know he can't get rid of me. i don't think nas is involved either, so no need to fuss at him" celine opened the door to their shared dorm.

"you are a little stalker" siya said causing her to smack her lips.

"a stalker. a groupie. whatever he want he can have" celine replied with a shrug.

"you too much" siya released her braids from the high ponytail she wore.

even though celine told her not to fuss about what she found her thoughts moved a mile a minute. she tried to push those thoughts about clif and nas out of her mind. did he know? why was clif even doing that? how deep did it go? were they in danger? she had to overwhelming feeling of fear that paralyzed in her brain for most of the evening.