ADVENTURE OF SALVIN SAWYERR

ONE CHANCE

THE SUMMER HOLIDAY! I'd just graduated from Portsmouth Junior High; Portsmouth, England, United Kingdom. And like every other African-European kid, I took flight for Africa; my parents were so anxious of my arrival. However, my friend in La Côte d'Ivoire pleaded I visited him before heading for Nigeria — no p., I was more than gratified. It was the summer holiday, and as an ambivert, it was the best time to show my extroverted skills. In no time, I boarded a plane for the Ivory Coast.
Now to cut the long story short, I'd lodged in an hotel called Le Charmant Hôtel after arrival; reason was so this guy wouldn't take the responsibility of spending for my feeding and all, he was very open-handed. (Please, I hate talking too much, it bores me, so I'll just skip the latter details.)
The following day, I headed for the road to meet Jean. The guy was so excited he called every single second asking, "Où êtes-toi?", so I had to turn my cellphone off while I headed for his home in the city centre. Mehn! The worse mistake I've ever made so far!
I entered a certain bus, with my headphone drawn over my ears. Anyone could tell that I was smelling of money that day, and my stupid British-accent clouded over my spoken French. I took no note of the other passengers in the bus, after a quick glance — all Blacks. Getting into the vehicle, I sat behind the conductor — it's still funny I didn't freak out from the total Nigerian pattern of the vehicle right here — no, I preferred to "blow guy".
Next thing I knew was the conductor closing the windows, along with the other passengers as the vehicle moved. "Hell no!" I exclaimed, what were they thinking under the African heat?! They turned to look at me — all eyes. I turned to the conductor and said, "S'il vous plaît, monsieur, pouvez-vous ouvrir les fenêtres — c'est terrible chaud ici?" I was scared of nobody, and besides that was polite.
Yo niggas! My liver sliced into two when the whole bus shaked with laughter. I dropped my headphone, quickly, on my shoulders and surveyed the passengers — it didn't seem right. We were three in each row — mine had two girls, one dressed as a Catholic nun, the other a tomboy. I looked, meticulously, at the nun's legs and saw she was wearing a trouser under it. Two words rattled in my head like the rain on a rusted roof — "one chance". Behind me, there was just a male whose face was shaded by a facecap. Then the roll in front of me had three men — note, the conductor was seated on a little seat just beside the door, I can't remember what it's called, you'll get the name from my Nigerian friends in the comments section, later.
The nun looked at me and said, "OUI? Il est aussi chaud !" speaking for the conductor. My heart was beating like a harmer against a plank, but I made sure not to show it. Can you imagine she was telling me that he was also hot?! I nodded, wanted to play it cool; if I questioned it, they could get me drugged or charmed. I looked down at my shoes and thought about mum and dad — no! Do something Salvin, you're a nerd, remember? Nerds think big! I told myself. My phone was off, I wouldn't dare to turn it on. The worse thing was that it was only Jean who knew I was in the country. I just repeated a single prayer, "Let these guys fuck up — please — let these guys fuck up." I didn't want to pray otherwise because I knew God made me to use my brain — it was up to them to forget to use theirs.
O boy! Twenty minutes later and nothing was happening, they were riding full speed ahead. I had to think — Salvin do a quick mental note! — if it were mental notes that could solve it, I wrote a whole textbook, then; still, nothing was happening.
Nothing was happening!
All of a sudden, I noticed the driver was slowing down. He was looking across the road, I could see, so I traced my eyes to what got his attention. I noticed someone was holding a nylon bag, advancing over. He was shaded by a cap like the guy behind me. The driver gestured to the conductor who nodded. He probably wanted to collect the nylon.
Then I heard something in the right side of my ear, "Fly out, Salvin — fly!"
"No," I whispered back, "I'm a soft dude, I can't do that. It's embarrassing."
"Soft dude, it's either you dive out or you die in—"
My brain slapped me on both sides; "Na true o," I told myself in Nigerian pidgin. My eyes were fixed to the door, I told myself to imagine the door as a net and the conductor a member of the opposing team of my basketball team. "I'm a good aimer, I'll go for it."
Immediately the guy drew the door open, I flew over his shoulder and "landed with a beautiful kung-fu move I learnt some time ago." Ehem-ehem, this cough will not kill me. I dusted my head, sha.
The guy's eyes flung wide over his gaped mouth. I quickly threw the coins at him and screamed, "Have your money!" — "Prenez votre argent!"
"Oga, you no dey go again?"
Can you imagine the fool replied me with West African Pidgin?! And his accent was soooo Nigerian. I moved to where people could see me and I began to shout in a popular Nigerian language, "Ole! Ole! — I no go o!" I know I sounded so foolish, especially with my accent, but what does it matter, I'd have been dead if not that. Immediately, the conductor and the other guy who had successfully crossed over, ran into the vehicle and sped off. Note, "ole!" means "thief!" in the Yoruba language of the Nigerians.
God knows I was panting hard, I looked up and said, "Thanks dad, you've done it again. The blokes fucked up." I could see the clouds forming a smiling face, so I smiled back. The next vehicle I took, I was more careful to take note of the passengers, even skipping two buses after looking inside the bus like a fool — bro, I learnt something new that day. "There are times when ‘foolishness’ is your greatest wisdom and asset."
I won't bore you out with telling you what happened, thereafter. This is a life-saver, I repeat, a life-saver! Share to your loved ones and friends.
You've so got to get your eyes open in this present system of things, or as the Nigerians would have it, "Shine your eye o!"
Remember that this will make you wiser to any such "one chances" that could rise in the future. Also, remember this African proverb, "You do not teach the paths of the forest to an old gorilla." And another that says, "It takes a whole village to raise a child."
It all makes sense now.