Loving Kinnick

Who Are You Running From?

Kinnick left last night, and I tried blaming that on the reason I didn't sleep last night. It had nothing to do with going around my house to make sure all of the locks were latched shut. I had to make sure my door was closed. I had to make sure it was impossible to get inside of my room - no matter what I had to do to make it that way.

I stayed at my window and waited for a familiar red car to pull up because I was prepared for his arrival. I wasn't planning for someone to break in like a robber or criminal of the night but Warren. Would I rather have a stranger hold me at gunpoint asking for money I don't have? Yes. If that meant I never had to see Warren again or have to worry about him coming around again.

When I walked into class, even with knowing I'd see Kinnick, I regretted the day before me. My fingers rubbed at my temples, trying to get rid of the headache that came with lack of sleep. They were practically a package deal, but I didn't pay for both.

I couldn't slide into my seat before Chrissy was telling me she found out. I knew it wouldn't take long. So, I started asking questions. I wanted to know why he was here. According to Chrissy, he's coming for college. His dad lost his job and Warren is smart but not smart enough to stay enrolled at a school as prestigious as Harvard. They ran out of options and found themselves rolling back into town.

"Did you get any sleep?"

"No," I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to snap.

"I'm sorry," she rubbed my back. "Maybe you won't see one another."

"Where's Kinnick and Miles?"

"I don't know," she looks around the room. "I didn't see them this morning."

When my hands started shaking, I dropped my head onto the desk. I wanted everything to go away. The suffocating weight in my throat felt like it would burst any second, and I couldn't breathe.

"I can't - I can't," I shove away from my desk.

When the door shut behind me, I fell onto the ground in the hallway, gripping my hair. My scalp burned at the harsh touch, but I needed to feel something other than the unsafe, loneliness I'm feeling now. My shaking hands reached for the pain killers in my pocket. They emptied onto my hand as I walked towards the water fountain.

Everyone was on my case about the party over the weekend. Their looks of concern and cheers of encouragement served me a cup of whiplash for this morning. I couldn't keep up with how people portrayed my actions. At the moment, I didn't care.

"Boston?" The familiar voice, I've come to fear, broke the silence.

As the pills fell down my throat, I prayed for quick relief. My hands gripped the fountain behind me, and Warren noticed. I pushed against the stationary object, hoping to find stability.

"I don't mean to startle you," he frowned. "After what happened at the mall, I wanted to make sure everything between us was cool."

"I don't want to talk to you. Please go away."

"How about we skip to the part where we hug and you tell me how much you've missed me?"

"I have a boyfriend."

"I was your boyfriend until you went around spreading lies."

"Spreading lies?" I choked on anger. "You and I both know I didn't lie."

He stepped for me, and I slammed myself back into a wall. "Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it."

His hands ran up my arms as he dipped his head into my neck. His fingernails slowly started carving into the backs of my arms. I shoved him away as pain flared through my limbs.