Custody War

Chapter 36

Lucas

Sitting in the chair in Kendric's room holding his hand as tears slip out of my eyes.

"Lucas," turning toward the voice Evan is standing in the doorway.

Turning back around, placing a kiss on Kendric's forehead. Standing up walking out of Kendric's room walking down the stairs pouring a glass of liquor.

Tossing it back as the brown liquor burns my throat. Pouring another I look up at Evan.

"What Evan?"

"That's your big plan. You going to drink the judgment away."

"You don't understand shit, Evan. This fucking pain I'm feeling, I'm feeling this shit for my son."

Tossing back the drink I continue to talk while pouring another one, "WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO TELL MY SON?" I yell throwing the glass across the room as it hits the wall.

"You tell him his daddy loves him more than anything in this world and you will do anything for him."

"Will I Evan, will me as his father do anything for him. Because I'm pretty sure when my son gets older, and he asks me again why he doesn't have a mother. Just what exactly should I say. I am a selfish asshole, a selfish dick because I wanted to keep him. WHAT THE FUCK DO I TELL MY SON?" I scream out throwing the bottle against the wall.

Sliding down the wall, warm tears comfort me as they slide down my face.

"Her screams. The pain, you could hear and feel her pain, hear her heartbreak. I did that shit. I took her son away from her this time. I am no better than her parents."

"THAT'S ENOUGH, LUCAS. All our heartbreak for Essence, but the judge felt it was best for Kendric to remain with you. You can't feel guilty for not losing him. How would you feel the judge would have said Essence got Kendric?"

"I thought she was dead Evan, that's what I told him. How am I going to explain this?"

"When and only when he is older you and Essence both are going to explain this to him. He should not hear this from one or the other. That is what is best to rectify this situation."

Coming over to me, Evan sits down beside me. "Kendric is not going to stop loving you and he is not going to hate you." Each word he spoke made me cry harder.

"Your wrong, my son is going to hate me for keeping him away from his mother."

"Lucas if you feel that strongly then take Kendric to Essence. We can take him now."

Rising to my feet, "I'm taking my son nowhere. I just- I- "

"You just want it to be easier, I hate to break it to you little brother life is not. What happened- "

Interrupting Evan, "what happened was I should have paid more attention."

"Then you wouldn't have Kendric. Lucas, you are burdening yourself down and trying to carry everybody's pain. I understand why Essence is grieving for Kendric, why are you grieving though?"

"Evan y-"

"Daddy, what's wrong?" Kendric ask in a groggy voice interrupting Evan and me.