Fucked Up Gallagher (Book Two)

Chapter twenty

Frank is screaming and crying, shaking Monica. Shes dead... Debbie and Liam come down to see the commotion and I quickly run over, grabbing Debbies hand, whipping her around so she's facing away. I grab Liam and Pick him up. I bring them upstairs. "Keep him up here with you," I tell Debbie. "Amanda no."
"DEBBIE! Keep him with you!" I yell and she listens. I run back downstairs and Lip is calling 911. I run over to Monica. "Mom?" I grab her, pushing Frank out of the way. "MOM!" I feel Lip tear me away from her. Frank is sitting with his hands on his head, knees holding himself up. 

911 arrives. No one moves. Lip tries to get me out of the room but I stay. I watch as they take Monica's body out of the room. "Mom, no." I charge at the door, trying to reach her. I feel Lip grab my arm and hold me back from following. He turns me and presses me into his chest. I can feel his shirt getting wet from my tears but he doesn't move. He's crying to I think. It's a quiet sob that doesn't even make his body shake. He's just as stunned as I am. 

Me- Mickey, Monicas dead, or dying. Shes not breathing
Me- God damn it Mick answer me, please. I don't know what to do
Mickey- Amanda I'm so sorry. We can call later.
Me- Tell Ian for me?
Mickey- He's not here, he couldn't do it.

Me- Oh. I'm sorry Mick.
Mickey- Give me a few hours and we can call

I never said bye to her. Yes we danced as the night got later, and I said I forgave her, but Only because eventually I too got as wasted as the others. Whos gonna tell Carl? Or Ian? Who's explaining death to Liam?  Thoughts bombard my head. What happened to us... 

I think back to the last full conversation we'd have.
"Amanda!" Mom calls to me. "Hi, mom." She runs and hugs me, shaking me around. "You look good." I start to walk away to go dance with Fiona. "Amanda, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave for so long." She hugs me again. "It's okay Mom, I'll always forgive you." She smiles. "That's my baby. Now, let's dance." She grabs my arm and pulls me around the room to "Dance", its more of her pulling me in circles but I laugh the whole time. "I love you Amanda, My beautiful daughter."  She looks me in the eyes and for a second it feels like a goodbye. Monica doesn't do those. She never says goodbye. "My strong, beautiful Amanda."

Me- Ian, Mom's dying. Shes in the hospital, I think we are going to lose her. 

 I text him, not trusting my voice to actually say Mom's dying, or Monica's almost gone. We all sit in the hospital room, Debbie says she was still warm and Kev asks if she shit herself.  "Gallagher?" We hear a doctor call us. "Fiona, Philup, Amanda and Debbie." Fiona says as she introduces us to her. "Your mother came in unresponsive, we made every attempt to revive her." My heart stops when she says this. Please Mom. Dont be dead. "But we were unsuccessful." I look around for a more clear answer, "So shes dead?" Fiona asks. "Yes." 
"Drug overdose?" Lip asks. I don't hear the rest. My eyes blur out into a foggy haze and I stare at nothing, my ears ring and everything is quiet. I sit myself down. "Amanda, are you going with us to see Monica?" Debbie asks. Fiona looks at her and gives her a mean glare. "You don't have to, You can-" 
"No, Ill see her." I cut off Fiona. She looks at me with sympathy in her eyes. Lip looks lost and Debbie is the mature one, looking around to see if everyone else is okay. I pull out my phone.
Me- Shes dead Mick...
I don't get a response so I put my phone away. Fiona leaves to go get Frank. Kev stands up and hugs me. "Shes all I had, All my life. Her and Mick." 
"I know, I know." He tries hushing me, rubbing my back as I try to collect my thoughts. Shes gone. Fiona comes back in and everyone starts to go in. "Im walking home." I tell Lip. He tries to stop me but I just leave. 
Incoming call... Mickey
I answer the phone but don't speak. "Hey, Amanda." 
"Hi, Mick." I snuffle my nose, trying not to cry. "So, she's dead?" He asks. "Yeah, Died because of her brain." 
"Do you need me back home?" He asks, sounding concerned. "No I'll be fine. I'm just shocked."
"It's hard losing a mom." He tells me.
"I've only ever had you and her Mick, and she wasn't even there all the time. But I love her. I'm an orphan now."
"You got Frank,"
"I don't think he even knows my name, Plus my birth certificate is Monica and No one."
"Well your almost an adult, no one's going to throw you into a home."
"Yeah."
"Are you with the gang?" He asks. "The Gallaghers all went to see her body,"I tell him. "And you didn't." I scoff. "I can't, I don't want to see her like that. I rather think she's gone with another boyfriend than dead." 
"Ian make it home?"
"On his way. I texted him and told him." I tell Mickey. "Made it over." 
"The border?" I ask, looking for clarification. he's never been a good phone talker. "Yeah, I'm in Mexico."
"I gotta go." I tell him. "call tomorrow?" I agree and hang up. 

"Where have you been?" Ian stands in front of me being questioned. "Um, Work." He says. I pick a kitchen seat and sit down. We all sit together, Circling a bucket of KFC.  They talk about if we should call Bill. I vote no. I've met him once, and he was a dick. Lip dumps out a bag of Monica's things. There's a shit ton of pills and clothing. 

Im the third one to turn in for the night. Fiona gets tired and is first, followed by Kev, then me. Maybe Ill wake up and this will all be a dream.