'This is a Penis.' McGonogall's strong accent reigned over the set of fourth years as she placed Papa Smurf on her desk. 'And this is a Vagina. Now, as I'm sure you are aware, you are now at the age where new things happen to your bodys. This is called puberty, and no that is not a funny word Mr Black.'
Sirius sat with James, who was also trying to contain a laugh, sniggering at the dildo in his teacher's hand. A few desks behind them, Peter and Remus sat together, Peter looking extremely embarrassed as Remus had a mildly bored look on his face. A desk to their left sat Lily, who was as unfazed as Remus, and Snape who's skin tone vaguely mirrored that of Nearly Headless Nick.
Carrying on, McGonogall turned to the next slide which was a diagram of a couple having sex in the missionary position. 'Sex is a natural part of life. When having sex, it is very important to be safe. There are a few charms which deal with contraception and protection, which can be found on page 2 of your handouts.'
Sirius' hand shot in the air, but McGonogall chose to ignore it. 'When discovering new things about your bodies, it is important to be safe.' Sirius' hand began waving at her, slightly distracting her from her speech. 'Both young men and young women experience changes at your age and younger. For girls, these changes include... What is it Mr Black?' McGonogall almost shouted, exasperated at his annoyance.
'I was just wondering if Werewolves have sex differently.' Remus face turned sour immediately, a bright red glow covering his cheeks as a look of surprise shone in his eyes. McGonogall was certain that, had he been drinking at the time, he would have spit it out. Sirius just grinned as James shot him a half-cross, half-humoured glance and Peter's eyes grew in size and found their way to the nearest wall.
'No, Mr Black, I believe that- when I'm human form- Werewolves have sexual intercourse no differently to any other human.' Remus looked relieved at this and began to stare into the back of his friends' head, eyes boring holes in his shiny hair. Sirius simply nodded in approval, turning up his lip slightly. James couldn't help but let out a short laugh.
'Now, if Mr Black is happy for me to carry on, I shall get back to the curriculum.' McGonogall was only slightly annoyed, more humoured than anything else. She still felt bad for Remus though.
'What about animagi?' James spoke this time.
'Yes,' spoke Sirius. 'I've heard that they tend to be better at sex than say, the average Wizard.'
'They definitely have better bodies.' Replied James.
'Mr Black, Mr Potter, now I do believe that is highly inappropriate.' McGonogall was now genuinely shocked at his words- she is, after all, an animagus, and couldn't for the life of her think why they were saying this. A slight red tinge shone on her cheeks at the thought, though.
'Sorry Professor.' Sirius spoke quietly, sharing a knowing glance with James and then turning back to Peter as Remus broke his resolve into a slight grin.
Lily sat up a little, glaring at James who quickly elbowed Sirius in the ribs and told him to shut it.
Happy to carry on with the lesson now that short interruption was up, McGonogall made to carry on, lifting her panflet to her face and placing her glasses at the end of her nose, ready to read out the chapter on menstruation and why it wasn't to be feared.
Keeping her face sturdy, she began to read. God, she loved her boys.
