gravity | r. suna ✓

seven

- Thursday, 6:56am -

After what happened yesterday, I am fully aware that everything I'm going to do today will be to distract myself, whether I make that decision consciously or subconsciously.

I will pretend I'm strong. I will pretend nothing happened yesterday and that today is just another day at Inarizaki High.

I'm exhausted. I barely got any sleep last night. Still, I woke up at 6 and forced myself to get ready for school. I arrived here early as usual so I can practice with the boy's team. And after all that, I'm playing too badly to join them on court.

What a failure I am.

Instead, I practice my jump serves against the wall, hoping to nail them in time for the Spring Interhigh in 2 weeks time. The ball smacking against my palm, hard, helps with the anger and stress that I've let build up in me.

I can feel Suna's eyes on me, calculating me, with an expression of concern on his face, similar to last night. Except last night, his eyes were wide with shock, but today, his eyes are narrowed as usual.

How can he be so calm?

Smack. Thud. The ball against my hand. The ball against the wall.

How can he have returned to normal so quickly?

Smack. Thud.

I don't know if I'm angry or jealous.

My eyes are filled with tears. Maybe I'm just sad, or scared, or shocked. Or all of the above.

After practice, I leave before Suna can catch up to me and search my eyes with his the way he always does. I feel like I might throw up.

I manage to stay awake through Science and English. By the time I get to my third class, I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. I feel like I might collapse.

In art, I press too hard on the paper and my pencil snaps. I don't get up to get a new one. I lay my head on the desk and sleep until the bell wakes me for lunchtime.

Suna is waiting for me in the library, as he always is. My stomach rumbles, but I clench my jaw. My body is hungry, but I'm not.

I sit down opposite him. It occurs to me that he resembles a fox. It's ironic that he came to a school called Inarizaki; Inari means fox in Japanese.

He slides an obento towards me.

"I'm not hungry." I push it back.

"I know," his voice is empty of emotion. "I figured you weren't planning on eating anything, so I'm not going to let you leave until you've finished this obento."

I glare at him. "And if I refuse to eat it?"

He looks at me, his gray-yellow eyes burning into mine. I don't blink. He holds my gaze.

"Then I won't eat until you do." He leans back. "Well, I'm hungry, but I guess if you don't eat then I'll just suffer in silence..."

I let out a sigh, rolling my eyes and reluctantly opening the lid of the obento. I take the chopsticks, staring at the food in front of me. There is so much of it. Teriyaki chicken on rice, chicken katsu, sushi, a small portion of salad, chocolate, and a cupcake.

I take a piece of sushi and raise it to my mouth slowly, looking up to see if Suna is eating as well.

"I'm not taking a bite until you swallow yours," he tells me, seeing me wait for him.