The Nobodies Want To Be Somebodies

14

Waking up with my head on Twiggys chest and Marilyns head on my stomach. My head hurt. I looked around to see the minivan door was open revealing a perfect ocean view.

The warm wind shifted my hair and I spotted Madonna making a fire with dead grass. It was small but it would be enough to make like soup or something. It seemed John had other ideas as he was cutting mussels, clams and seaweed off the rocks into a metal bucket. Ginger and Brittany were elsewhere doing whatever.

Marilyn shifted and woke up, looking at me.

He looked suprised when he saw me lay on Twiggy. "You've gotta be kidding me." He muttered getting up. He got out the mini van and just kept walking rubbing his head.

Guessing he was mad at me for sleeping on Twiggy, I got up and ran after him. "Marilyn!" I shouted. I followed Marilyn over boulders and along bankings trying to get his attention. Finally he sat on a boulder with his head in his hands.

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" He asked lifting his head slightly so he could look me in the eye.

I didn't know what to say. Twiggy was amazing and in a way, yes, I love him. But not the same way I love Marilyn.

"No... Yes... Not the same way as I love you." I rubbed my temple trying to find the right answer. I hoped my answer was correct. I hoped Marilyn would smile and hug me tightly. I wished he wouldn't say:

"Well before we go any further you need to decide who you want most." He said shaking his head asthough he really didnt want it. I didnt want it.

"I know who I want. You. I want you." I said holding back tears. A tear escaped and with Marilyn not looking at me the way he usually did made me come undone.

I cried but Marilyn didn't come to hug me. He walked over, kissed me on the forehead then walked away quickly. I could tell he didn't want to be followed. I stood there, watching him walk away from me, frozen to the spot.

I wiped away tears then went back to the group. Marilyn would want me to stay at Rosies. I couldn't though, I fit in with them.

Piling back into the minivan we had another concert that night which was local to my hometown. The soup Madonna and John made didn't go well so they abandoned it. We needed food. Marilyn still wasn't back yet and I was getting worried.

"Darcie call him." Twiggy said.

"Someone else do it." I sighed looking out the window with my arms folded.

"Whats happened to you two?" Ginger asked.

"Just- just call Marilyn." I didn't want them to know. I didn't want Twiggy to feel bad.

"Why aren't you? He's your-" John spoke up but I interupted.

"Just fucking call him!" I spat.

"Woah, sorry, I was just..." John said taken aback.

"Marilyn where are you?..." Britt was on the phone to Marilyn. "We're ready to go ... but we need to ... it's the final stretch ... we need you tonight! ... Good ... Thank you ... Bye." Brittany hung up. To us she said, "He'll be here in a bit."

"Thank you." I said.

Just like Brittany said, Marilyn appeared over the rocks looking like he'd been swimming. He was topless, hair wet and jeans damp. He climbed into the back of the van as far away from me - in the front - as possible. Brittany started driving and the silence was awful. I kept glancing back to see Marilyn staring out the window.

"Right." Brittany broke the silence after pulling over and stopping the van. "Whats gone on? We cant carry on driving like this."

"Nothings happened-" I began but was interupted by Marilyn.

"We're having a break." His eyes avoided me but kept flicking towards me.

"Why? You two are good for eachother." Twiggy shrugged.

I didn't want Twiggy to find out it was because Marilyn woke up to see me lay on him. It would hurt Twiggy. I didn't expect Marilyn to take it this way.

"Because I want to know whether she loves me and only me." Marilyn shrugged.

"I knew she wasn't a good one." Madonna stated leaning back and folding his arms.

Thats when the tears started. I didn't know whether it was how Marilyn was making me out to be a slut or whether it was how Madonna was right all along or the way everyone was looking at me. I just broke and cried. Then the anger began. I exploded. Just like Madonna predicted.

"Your not so fucking innocent you were flirting with other girls so I did the exact same as you then I nearly got raped!" I shouted at Marilyn, tears flowing.

I saw the hurt in Marilyns eyes I saw the way he was putting his walls up but I didn't stop there. "You fucking take advantage of every single fucking girl who falls for you and you know what? I actuay felt safe with Twiggy last night. Last time I fucked him I felt like he wasn't fucking the same way he does every other whore. Unlike you." I spat, "Before I met all of you I was a depressed, self harming, suicidal virgin. Now I'm a dirty drug taking whore. I'm worse than I was before. Thanks to you." I'd stopped crying. Then I saw Marilyns face the way he looked at me. I'd broken him. At the moment I wanted to hurt him. But now I just see a man. Not an antichrist. Not a rockstar. Not my idol. Just a man.

"Now we've cleared that up, Brittany would you rather I drove or can you please start the car?" Madonna asked.

Brittany turned on the engine and began driving. She followed the GPS and we got to Rosies apartment. I got out and ran to the apartment with Twiggy and Brittany following me. I didn't stop until they caught up with me. Brittany grabbed my shoulders then hugged me tightly stroking my hair and Twiggy just stood awkwardly at the side with his hands in his pockets.

"Baby we can talk to Marilyn." She said next to my ear.

"He won't forgive me for what I said." I cried.

"He will. He loves you. You just gotta show him you only love him." Twiggy said.

But I didn't only love him. Did I?

Suddenly Lee marched round the corner and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw us.

"If you've hurt her." He warned Twiggy.