In My Life

Twelve

"W-what are ye' doing Ritch?" John seemed confused yet had an unmistakable undertone of protectiveness in his eyes having seen how Ringo had upset me in the beginning of their set.

Ritch looked at me then at John, encouraging me to say something.

My eyes drifted to the floor quickly. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of having me tell John myself.

"Would you like me to tell him?" He seemed almost smug in knowing this would drive a wedge between John and I.

The dread of knowing he was going to tell him tore me apart. Though surely John would be able to understand, he had a girlfriend, and hadn't thought twice about telling me.

Maybe Ringo's words were planting a seed in my brain, or maybe I still had lingering resentment for what John had done, but if he was going to be mad I'm not sure how I'd react.

"I already know she's terminal." John blurted seeing red already, having furrowed eyebrows already having assumed that was the topic of discussion that Ringo planned to use against me.

My entire body tightened as I looked over my shoulder back to John, a look in my eye that told him immediately that wasn't what he knew. John pursed his lips immediately with widened eyes realizing what he'd done.

Oh lord.

I looked back to Ritch, who's features softened into confusion and worry, his previous smugness lost.

"You're, terminally ill?" He asked me in disbelief, his blue eyes boring into mine with a flash of fear going through them as he realized I wasn't laughing like it was some sort of joke.

"What does he know that I don't?" John inquired in a whisper puzzled.

"We-we went out together, and kissed, when she was mad at you." Ringo spoke in a daze, his eyes unmoving from me.

Brilliant. They both managed to make the situation have the worst possible outcome.

"Y'what?" John's voice became harsh.

"I was hurt, John I-"

"-She deserves better John. You go around using girls and throwing them away like nothing." Ritch really began getting upset now that he had even more the reason to want to "protect me" in his warped sense.

His words were a poisonous thing, because I knew there was some real truth to his words. John's reputation with the way he treated women wasn't exactly top notch among rumours.

They began to bicker like children, and I grew more and more angry with the way they spoke until I had enough. I had felt my breathing become heavy until I became dizzy and pushed past both of them to stop myself from getting too wound up before I exploded.

They were fighting over me like I was a prize, which was ironic considering in the end their "prize" would be more heartache. I really didn't have the time to be fought over.

I bumped into Paul on my way out to the crowd to go outside for some air abruptly startling myself as our chests collided.

"You alright?" Paul inquired before I felt myself become overly light headed from the stress of the encounter, having been breathing heavily.

I tried to form a sentence opening my mouth but I couldn't find words.

Slowly, I blinked a couple times before feeling my knees buckle. Paul immediately three his arms around me to keep me upright, panic seeming clear in his features.

"Er, Johnny!" Paul called over anxiously to where I had just been storming off from.

He called a couple more times before he got John's attention away from his argument.

"What happened?" John's tone sounded mortified as he came over.

"I'm fine," I said slightly slurred as I tried to get myself upright, though the exhaustion that fell over my body was excruciating, failing to stand myself up.

"No you're not." John sighed out grabbing me out of Paul's arms and lifting me into a swaddled position, my arms wrapping around the back of his neck trying to steady myself in his arms.

"Right, I think we better get you out of here." John noted quietly to me sounding as worried as Paul.
                  _______________

"You're sure you're alright?" John questioned once more as we stood outside of the pub as I sipped on on a cup of water leaning up against the wall.

"Yeah," I nodded with my cheeks heating up seeing how worried he was, "sorry that was kind of dramatic." My cheeks reddened embarrassed.

I had apologized to him a million times over for everything as he had carried me outside feeling terrible for the scene.

"No no, I'm sorry about going off on Ringo in there. It's really none of my business if you went out." John seemed to grow meek as he apologized, realizing how unimportant it seemed.

"No, I really shouldn't have done it, I don't have feelings for him." I sighed somewhat regretfully for leading Ringo on.

John seemed to perk up from this, a smugness trying not to show on his face.

"Well, good." He grinned stepping closer, his frame towering over mine, his eyes staring down into mine with a glimmer of mischief.

He took a piece of my hair and tucked it behind my ear gently, his eyes travelling downward toward my lips in a way that had me breathless with anticipation.

"You know, I'm really glad you came tonight." He spoke in almost a whisper nearing closer.

"Me too." I bit my lip excitedly, Ringo's words melting away from my mind as I looked down to his lips, my own parting slightly.

"Go Lenny!" Paul exclaimed from where the rest of his mates had begun carrying their stuff out to a van in front.

John jumped back, turning to Paul and making a not-so-kind gesture, causing them to laugh.

I giggled looking over to his mates giggling biting down on my lower lip to keep myself from laughing too much seeing John was annoyed.

He took his jacket which he still wore and held the side of it up to obstruct the lad's vision, stealing a kiss from me behind it.

There was loud booing from them on the other side of it, and John pulled me in with his free hand to jest them even more.

I smiled against his lips, taking my hands and gently holding his face, pulling myself away unable to be serious about it, seeing John finding my smile amusing.

"I love you." John reminded me, lowering his jacket finally, becoming more serious.

"I love you too, John." I grinned back, truly meaning it, realizing I had found the thing I had thought I would pass without, finding love.