Escape from Reality

Unfolding Fears

Insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty, a lack of confidence or anxiety about yourself.

Today is the first day of class.

As a high school teacher, I need to prepare myself to meet new students with different personalities.

It's part of my job, dealing with incredibly different behaviors. I observed the busy students trying to find their way on the campus as I walked the halls.

My room is located in the 4th floor,  a pinakadulong parte ng hallway. I will be seeing a lot of cul-de-sac-like walkways as I am teaching in a prestigious school known for it's good reputation here in Cavite.

This is my 2nd year teaching yet I still haven't adjusted myself to the environment. I still am not used to interacting with the students contrary to my duty.

It's especially hard since I am introverted.

I don't know why I choose this career rather than being an artist. Back then, I really wanted to be a novelist. That's the reason why I wanted to take a bachelor's in journalism. But my parents wanted a different path from what I desired due to financial problems and so, I took the course in education, for the sake of my family.

The class starts at 7:30 am.

I continued on my charade and entered the room while students hasted to find their seats. Some faces were familiar but because this is a new year, hindi pa din mawawala ang mga transferee.

The bell rang, a signal to start the class. It is the first day and so to know more about my students, I told them to introduce themselves one by one.

"Good morning sir, I'm Vince Madrigal. I'm 15 years old..."

"Good day to you all, I'm Ezekiel Lopez, 16 years old..."

A few minutes went by and the students continued on introducing themselves, making known their hobbies, favorite things, and words they would describe themselves.

To kill time, I decided to tell them a story I've known from the heart.

"For a while, let me just tell you a story."

"Sir." One of my students raised their hand.

"Yes? Mr... I'm sorry, what is your name again?" I'm not good with names, let alone the interaction. 

Imagine having 50 students per class, teaching English for 8 sections. It shouldn't be a surprise that many new teachers tend to be snobby because of unfamiliarity.

"It's Lopez, sir."

"Yes, Mr. Lopez, what is your question?" 

"Is this the start of our discussion?" He asked like he wanted me to disagree.

"The answer is 'no'." The whole class reacted with murmuring.

"Quiet, class" pagpapatahimik ko sa kanila.

"I just wanted to share a story. Listen. I hope you enjoy the story I will be reading"

As I began reading the title, the classroom fell silent and my lone voice echoed.

"The title of this book is 'The process'  by Purpose Wasted. "

The story unraveled to the life of a high school student. To be specific, a 9th grader. The student's name is Alfonso.

Alfonso grew up with a dirt spoon. He used the same old worn bag every year because his parents cannot afford a new one. His parents taught him that as long as something is still functional, wag na muna bumili ng bago.

He was smart enough to attend a respectable school but with his current state, he remained shy and introverted. 

He doesn't like socializing because his body reacts in a way he cannot fully and accurately describe.

But he wasn't scared of people.

One day, while he was walking in the halls, he ran into a group of students, however, because of his enclosed nature, he lowered his head and stayed meek. He walked until  his legs took him far from the students were far away. 

He found himself in the school's grass field bordered by oak trees. The leaves provided a shady canopy for the grass below. He bathed in the deciduous, letting the strong winds touch his skin lightly, swaying his senses.