a writer's inspiration (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Chapter 10

Muffed sounds reached your ears. It were not only the voices of Natasha and Pepper. Deep voices mixed with the female ones that had tried to talk you out of your bed for the last two days. Maybe it was an extreme reaction but you felt terrible. Again, a person that was close to you had gotten hurt through words that were caused by your actions. It was the last thing you wanted to go through again, yet again, let anyone other go through.

"Try it. We can't let her stay in there..." a deep voice nudged and feet approached your door. A second of silence was followed by a soft knock on your door. You pulled your blanket over your, in bandages covered, hand. As you had rammed it into Clark's face, the skin of your knuckles had torn apart and your fingers were now hurting like hell. The only way not to cry out by every movement was to wrap it up. You didn't want anyone to see it so you had one more reason to stay in your room.

"Y/N?" a soft voice called along with another knock on your door. Your heart jumped and fell at the same time. The person knocking on your door was the one person you did expect the least.

"Please, let me in," Bucky called softly but you couldn't bring yourself to say anything.

"Y/N, if you hear me, I'm coming in if you don't say anything." Again, it was silent for a moment and you suppressed a sob as everything bubbled up again. Your door opened and light fell into the dark room that you had cornered yourself into. You felt your bed dip as you faced the other way.

"Hey," he purred as he looked at the bundle of pillows, blankets and a small amount of showing (H/C) hair. Your lip quittered at the soft tune his voice had. You didn't deserve it just as much as he didn't deserve it to be called names just because he was friends with you.

"Please, speak to me, doll..." he trailed off and placed his hand on your shoulder; or what he assumed was your shoulder. This was what caused you to break out into sobs once more this weekend.

"Hey, shh... calm down, sweetheart," he cooed and pulled you out of your pile and into his chest. A wince disrupted your sobs as your hand pushed against his strong chest. Noticing your pain, Bucky grabbed your wrist carefully and unwrapped your injuries.

"Ay ay ay ay... What were you thinking," he asked concerned as he ran one of his cold fingers around the torn skin. Your sobs continued as your face was buried into his chest. His warm hand drew sickles on your back as the other one held your hand softly. After a long time, his smoothing motions along with his warm, sweet, fragrant scent that filled your senses, he had calmed you down enough to speak properly again.

"What is all this about?" he asked softly, stroking your hair. Not wanting to speak it out aloud, you shook your head but it only caused your headache to worsen.

"Please, doll. If you don't say anything, then I can't help you," he whispered, holding you close.

"Y-you did a-already more tha-an enough," you mumbled into his chest.

"What did I do already?" he asked but again, you remained silent.

"Is this all about Mike?" he asked, his form straightening up a little at the thought of this ass to be the reason for the current situation.

"No-not only," you mumbled in a low voice.

"Then what else is there? You can tell me," he spoke, shifting so that he was propped up against the headrest with you on his chest.

"No, I-I can't... you'll leave," you whimpered, hugging him tightly.

"I'll go nowhere expect you want me to..." he hummed as his both arms wrapped around you, running over the soft fabric of your sweater.

"You will. They always do when they see how I really am..." you trailed off, not wanting to relive this again.

"I promise I won't. You are such a good person and even if I wanted to, I could not," You didn't think much of the last part and made yourself ready for him to leave as well.

"When Mike called you freak and said all those things about you, I couldn't take it. If they hurt me, I take it but if my friends get hurt, I can't stand just by. In these moments, I ain't who I usually am. Something in me just snaps and I lash out. The last time it happened, I hurt the people I wanted to protect and since that, I told myself to never snap again..." James sat there in silence and waited for her to continue, only rubbing his hand up and down her back.

"Now, he hurt you just because you are my friend and that is exactly what I didn't want to happen again," you whispered, removing your arms from around his torso. You expected him to let go of you but he never did. He only sat there and held you.

"You know, it is not your fault. He would have made fun of me anyway. The only thing that you are responsible for, are the people you decide to be close to you. If we decide to come close to you, we are more than aware that we could get hurt because we let you close to us as well. But that is nothing bad," he explained calmly but something seemed to weighted his words.

A comfortable silence fell over the room, you both deep in thoughts. You nearly fell asleep to the steady beat of his heart as it thumped against your ear only held back by layers of bones, defined muscles and even skin.

"I want to tell you something," the brunette spoke up. You lifted your head slightly to look at him.

"I... know exactly how you feel. When all- this happened," he gestured towards his left arm, "I didn't let anyone come near me. Even Steve had troubles at times. I had given up all hope of a life that I wanted to live but then, this big blonde idiot dragged me to this doctor and he gave me new hope, somehow. He made me this arm and taught me how to use it. He was the one who brought me here but it didn't make my life become good again." Again, he stopped speaking and you knew that it was hard for him to speak about it. To comfort him, you nuzzled your head into his shirt and hugged him tightly.

"The day, Steve brought me with him, it took him a lot to get me out. To be honest, I still don't know what got me up here. I didn't know who or what I would be faced with. I- I-" you nodded only, telling him you understood even if he didn't finish his sentence. You fell asleep on him, only to be woken up as he told you, your friends had made your favorite food to cheer you up.

06.04.2021