It had been weeks since the incident with Mike and you and Bucky were studying together by times. It was nice to spent time in the library or on the meadow beneath a big tree talking or just sitting there and reading. On this special day, the sun shone extra bride from the clear, blue shy, making you want to get out of this full lecture hall.
"Since we now have discussed the basics of editing and covering a song and what aspects a good song must include, it is time for you to write your own. Therefore, I want you to pair up with at least one other person. Decide with who you want to work with and tell me. Afterwards, you may be excused for today." Your professor exclaimed. Unsure, you looked from one side to the other till you felt a hand on your shoulder.
"Y/N/N?" a deep voice asked and you looked up to your left. Blue-grey eyes looked at you and you could feel something in you flame up once again. Since you met him, your heart decided to stop from time to time and by now, it happened nearly every time you looked at the brunette.
"Bucky?" you asked, mirroring his tone. A smile tucked at his lips as a few loose curls hung from his ponytail.
"Would you like to work with me on this song?" he asked and for a moment, you were out of words. Why was it recently so difficult to find words for what you wanted to express? Taking your silence, the wrong way, he added anxious "You don't have to if you don't want to. I'll find someone else but I wanted to ask you since we work well together and all and-" You stated to giggle at his nervousness.
"I'll just shut up before I make this even more embarrassing," he mumbled, a blush creeping up his neck. Your hand was placed on his upper arm softly as you shook your head smiling.
"Don't be embarrassed, Bucky. You must know, I start to overthink how I phrase things at times just because I know the effects of the wrong word at an important point. So, it happens that I need a little more time to answer," you smiled at him, your cheeks turning pink now a bit.
"But yes, I'd like it very much if we did this together." Bucky looked up at you now again, a grin on his face.
"Perfect," he smiled and again, your heart flipped. You knew what that meant. You had experienced it once before and it didn't end well.
As the brunette made his way to the front to tell the man with deep brown locks your pairing, your mind wandered back to that summer before you graduated.
It was a wonderful summer; maybe even the best you had ever had. But like always, faith didn't let the happiness join you for too long on your path. The days got colder slowly and nights got finally barrable. It was time to say goodbye for a few weeks but neither of you wanted to. Promising each other to keep in touch till he came back, you hugged for a last time. Sure, you had told each other that you would be there when you saw the other once more but somehow, you knew that this would be the last time, he kissed you and you knew, that the next time you saw each other, you would be more than furious.
After watching him drive off, you walked back to your home and waited. He promised you, he would write when he arrived but the message never came. It was nothing new that it didn't and that made you only more sad. Every time he was away, he would turn into someone else. Someone you didn't like that much since he would ignore you and leave you on read for days.
It was a week later that he answered again. He was in a more than good mode while you were a wreck. As he left, he had taken your heart with him and now, after a week, he told you he didn't know he owned it and shattered it by telling you, he had fallen in love with someone there. It broke you into pieces like you had been before he came into your life. He promised you to not be the cause of any sadness but here you were, rebuild on false hope he had plated into your soul that was now torn from you.
He wouldn't have known if your friends hadn't told him how you really felt and how you were now laying in that dark hole, shattered once again. Maybe, after a long talk, you found your heart again, burning bride by rage that kept anyone away from you so that even your best friends and family had troubles with keeping up with your constant bad mode. Slowly, as the flames died down, you suppressed the still present heat of your emotions and to lock them away.
Back then, it had started the exact same way as it did now. You weren't looking for someone to love but you knew to not give in to your feeling to not hurt anyone again by burning them with your emotions.
You were shaken from your thoughts by a cold hand on your uncovered shoulder. Your eyes razed to the place where your top fell off your bony shoulder. For a moment, (Y/E/C) orbs stared at a metallic black hand with golden accents that were nearly unnoticeable since a long sleeve covered most of it. Bucky had started to show his metal arm slightly which turned out much to your liking.
"Are you all right?" the brunette asked softly. Your eyes snapped up to his and you nodded still in a daze.
23.03.2021
YOU ARE READING
a writer's inspiration (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
FanfikceA writer's block causes Y/N to recondition her past and her emotional injuries. Meanwhile, James, also known as Bucky, tries to recover from not only his physical but also mental wounds that were caused by a tragic accident. Through a good friend of...
