Offering Him Satisfaction

Prologue

CHRYSAN'S POV

"Look, we can do this, okay?" I held my mom's hands tightly, "We're gonna get through this, Mom. I promise."

My mom is now bedridden. She has lung cancer and it is in stage 4. My mom used to be a heavy smoker, that's why. My dad passed away just last year, he suffered from Liver cancer. My dad is the biggest alcoholic I know. Both of my parents are full of vices. They liked to smoke cigarettes and loved drinking any types of liquor.

Sinasabi na ng mga doctor na may taning na ang buhay ni Mommy. Hindi ko iyon matanggap. Siya na lang ang meron ako. Hindi ko na ata kakayanin pa kung mawala siya.

"But how, Chrysan? How?" My mom said in a very weak voice. She's so pale and skinny. She looked really weak... tired.. and lifeless.

"Gagawan ko ng paraan, Mommy, okay?" I kissed her forehead. "Sleep now and rest." I fixed her blanket before walking out of the room. I sighed deeply, trying so hard not to cry.

The private nurse was outside the room, near the door, waiting for me to come out. "Ma'am Chrysan, eto po yung mga gamot na kailangan ni Ma'am Criselda." She handed me the doctor's prescription.

I sighed and got the paper from her, "Thanks, Nurse Che."

Pumasok ako sa kwarto ko at humiga sa kama, tulala. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.

We are fucking bankrupt! Naubos ang pera namin sa pagpapagamot kay daddy at mommy. Naibenta na namin ang tatlong sasakyan namin at ibang ari-arian. Wala na halos ang natira. Konti na lang ang pera namin at pinagkakasiya na lang namin iyon. Ang dami naming binabayaran. Bills sa bahay, hospital bills ni mommy, bayad sa private nurse at iba pa.

I am a fresh college graduate. Sinusubukan ko na rin maghanap ng trabaho. As of the moment, I work from home as a call center agent. Hindi ganun kalaki ang kita pero pwede na 'yon, kesa naman sa walang kinikita.

I read the doctor's prescription and saw the meds that my Mom needs. Ang mamahal ng lahat ng ito. I felt my tears flowing out of my eyes. Hindi ko na napigilan pa. I'm exhausted from work. I'm so emotional right now! I can't afford to lose my mom. Hindi ko matanggap na pati ang Mommy ko ay mawawala saakin.

"Oh god, I cannot take this anymore.." I said, crying. I just let all my emotions out. "Hindi ko na kaya."

I was born in a rich but full of vices family. My parents used to be in different illegal businesses. Nalaman ko lang iyon nung pumanaw ang daddy ko. I was born with golden spoon. Lahat ng luho ay ibinigay ng mga magulang ko. Kung gaano kasaya at kasarap ang buhay ko noon, tila naman ako pinaparusahan ngayon.

My life was nearly perfect and I am confident to say that. As a kid, I got all the toys that I wanted. I got all the newly released dresses and doll shoes. I almost even completed the whole expensive Barbie doll sets. I studied in prestigious and expensive schools. Everything was once perfect.

Not until my dad passed away. Lahat ng baho ng mga magulang ko ay sumingaw. There, I found out that nothing was ever perfect.

My parents weren't perfect. They never were. But I still love them. They wanted the best for me, but their version of best was immoral and wrong. They were involved in illegal drug businesses, illegal smuggling of guns and so much more. I have lost count already. Wala naman na akong magagawa ngayon dahil huli na rin ang lahat. I need to look forward and to accept things. Things will never be the same again.

I woke up from continuous knocks on my door. Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na pala ako sa kakaiyak. "Ma'am Chrysan? Ma'am Chrysan?!"

Bumangon ako kaagad nang marinig ko ang tawag ni Manang Feliz, our oldest house maid. "Bakit po?" Antok kong sabi.