Romanticist - [connie springer x reader] NSFW

Part 13

You decided to talk to Connie and tell him everything a week later. You started with the night of the party, trying to remind him who you it was you were talking about. You wondered if it was as uncomfortable for him as it was for you. Having to sit there and divulge the details of your most recent sex partner to Connie wasn't something you saw yourself having to do- at least not in the current state of your relationship with him. The talk was long and painful, everything you wanted to say struggled to leave your mouth as you watched Connie's face visibly become uncomfortable by the conversation. It hadn't occurred to him that you really would go out and meet someone while he figured himself out. Every scenario that he painted in his mind when he told you that he needed time included you seeking comfort in Jean, Historia, or even Ymir while you did just what he expected- waiting. During the time that you loosened contact with Connie, he had been keeping his word. He initially spent the first few days contemplating if he should see Sasha, wondering if he'd be able to erase the previous moments that the two of you shared. In his mind commitment to you felt like he was jumping into something that he wasn't sure if he was prepared for. The thought of him waking up one day and realizing that he didn't feel the way the thought he did about you filled him with paranoia. It was like there was this suffocatingly large pressure on himself to make the right decision, and how was he supposed to do that without hurting anyone when he barely felt secure with who he was to both himself and to you. Hearing you debrief the last few days caused him to be overwhelmed by the feeling of irony from the entire situation. This entire time he assumed that you would be the one waiting for him to answer the phone, that you would be the one to wonder what he could be doing without you, that you would be the one left in the dark- but it was him. For the first time he didn't have complete access to you and the feeling left him lost- more than he was before. It wasn't until then that he finally understood what it felt like to be you while you were dealing with him essentially your whole life.

After you broke the news to him, the two of you had mutually decided to see each other less than you already were. It was mostly his idea, he was adamant on allowing you to "find yourself" before things got serious, but the truth was that he was scared. It wasn't until then that a new fear dawned on him regarding the situation. The situation had flipped on itself and Connie was afraid that if he were to force you to make a decision then that you'd resent him in the long run. Who was to say that you weren't going to miss Eren and regret choosing Connie in the end? Who was to say that you weren't going to just pick Eren instead in that moment, considering everything Connie had done to your relationship with him just before then.

The more time you spent with Eren the harder it was to picture him not actively in your life. In the week that led up to your confrontation with Connie, you hadn't left Eren alone for more than a day. You began spending so much time at his apartment that Ymir was in your shared dorm more than you were. By this point you had spent just about a month involved with him, and you knew that the duration of your relationship was starting to complicate things for the both of you. You could feel Eren slowly start to get impatient with the entire situation- which you didn't blame him for. You knew that the relationship that you've developed with him was more than it initially intended to be, and you didn't know how to deal with the fact that you liked what you had with him.

---

You were in Eren's room, fixing your hair as he took a shower to get ready for the get together that the two of you were going to. Eren insisted that you go out with him that night, because you weren't one to go partying with him hardly ever. Normally you would have opposed the idea, but you knew it would only be fair that you go considering he never hesitated to stay inside with you. You wore a black corset along with a matching lace garter set. You hoped that things would go the way that you played it out in your head. It had been three days since you last spoke to Connie during your confrontation, and you felt your conscience eat at you each day. You couldn't look at Eren the same, you couldn't have the same lighthearted conversations with him that you used to have, all of it was ruined. Everytime you looked at him you couldn't help but think of the way Connie looked at you as you talked on and on about Eren. You knew your time with Eren was running up. You figured that it would be best to end things after this weekend, allowing the two of you to formulate one last run of good memories to share between each other- which was why you got dressed up. As far as you were concerned everything could blow up in your face at any moment, so any day could potentially be your last day with him. Part of you hoped that you'd be able to make up for the frustration you've put Eren through by going to this party with him and treating that night like a special occasion, but something about the gesture just felt fake.