Romanticist - [connie springer x reader] NSFW

Part 9

"If that was your way of apologizing for being a dick we should definitely fight more." you joked as you laid beside the boy. His fingers made residency in your hair as he let out a weak laugh, still seemingly deep in thought. You had tried to take a casual approach to the situation, already knowing that where you stood with him most likely wasn't going to change any time soon despite what happened, but you couldn't help but feel like your nonchalance disturbed him a bit. There were many moments that evening that you wanted to ask him head on what was going through his mind, and you knew that he wouldn't have minded you asking- because the lack of communication was what led the two of you there in the first place. You still couldn't bring yourself to let the question roll off your tongue out of fear of rejection.

    "I'm not asking for space...but I just need time to figure out-"

    "I know, Connie." You interrupted him. You could tell he felt horrible for having to bring it up by the conflicted look on his face. You knew that he felt horrid for sleeping with you and then immediately having to set boundaries, but you understood where he was coming from- and to be honest you needed the same. A lot had changed between the two of you recently, and neither of you had any time to properly come to terms with those changes.

    "You know I care about you, even though I've been showing it in the worst way possible." He let out a brief sigh as he pecked your forehead, thinking about the right words to say. "And I don't expect you to wait for me to figure my shit out, you deserve more than that...but if you're still willing to once I've gotten my shit together I want to try this." He said, pointing between the two of you.

    "Whatever the hell this is." You laughed while giving him a reassuring nod. You were just glad that he was finally opening up to you, even if it wasn't exactly what you wanted to hear at the moment. He nodded in agreement, forcing himself to smile.

    There were so many things that he wanted to tell you that day. So many things that he wished he was ready to be open about, so many things that he should've said. Like the way he had never been kissed the way you kissed him, or the way he loved the way you looked at him when you thought he wasn't looking. He could go on for hours about the way he loved every little thing about you- and that he always did, but he was a coward. He hated the way he allowed his fear of losing you to stop himself from opening up to you, and he hated the way it hurt you more than he ever anticipated. A small part of him always wished that he had never met you as a kid, that the two of you had never become inseparable best friends. At least that way he wouldn't be so scared of losing you completely. Just the thought alone kept him in a constant chokehold and he didn't know what to do about it, which is why he figured distancing himself was the right move. In his mind if he had distanced himself then maybe then he wouldn't be scared to lose you- or that the distance would drive him crazy, crazy enough to tell you how he really felt. But he never expected this.

    "So..." you started uncomfortably, looking down at your hand that rested on his bare chest. "Should I leave? Or do you want me to stay?" At the offer of your absence he squeezed your body closer to his, groaning at the thought of you having to leave after the moment the two of you shared.

    "Stay here, don't go anywhere." He spoke so softly that you almost missed it. You could've sworn you heard a slight tremor in his voice and you looked up at him, his eyes immediately meeting yours. He was so beautiful up close it took your breath away every time, even when he was visibly upset you were still completely lost in him. Satisfied by his response you brought your hand up from his chest and gently caressed his cheek as he looked down at you.

    "You're so pretty." He said, his voice now just above a whisper.

    "I was just about to say the same about you, doofus." Before he could say anything back you brought your lips to his, carefully moving them together so he knew that you meant what you said. It was almost like kissing was the easiest way for the two of you to communicate with each other. There was no hiding the way the two of you felt about each other when  your lips met and moved with perfect synchronicity. You swore you could feel his longing in each kiss, the way he was so gentle with you each time, like you were going to fall apart right then and there. Reluctantly he pulled away after a moment before placing one final kiss on your forehead and turning to the side to hold you flush against his chest. As he engulfed you, your nose softly rubbed against his chest and you could take in the warm, familiar smell of cinnamon that never failed to make you weak. You wished that every night could be like this. That you would be around him, held by him so much that you too would end up smelling like that sweet cinnamon scent.