Romanticist - [connie springer x reader] NSFW

Part 1

[authors note: if ur familiar w my works on ao3 then the intro might sound a bit familiar! first time writing in like 3/4 years so i kind of took a lazy approach to the beginning sorry bout that] 

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You had always been there for him.

The first time he scraped his knee on the rough rubber tiles of the playground you were both 5 years old. You remember watching his small body curl up into a fetal position. The way he tried to hold in his tears and whimper out to you, assuring you that he would be okay.

The first time he was insecure about himself you were both 13 years old. You watched all of the boys in school get their growth spurts handed to them in the blink of an eye. Kids had grown a generous 3-5 inches that summer. He was still a humble 5'2. You watched him overcompensate for his height with his bright personality. The way he'd laugh just a little too loud, or the way he'd never seem to take things seriously. The way he made himself appear so big when in reality he had never felt so small.

The first time he had a crush on a girl you were both 16 years old. Her name was Sasha. You remembered how part of you wanted to hate her with everything in you, because why did she get to be the one to have his heart when you were there all along. You also remembered how fucking likeable she was- and that no matter how much you wanted to, you couldn't bring yourself to hate her.

The first time he had his heart broken you were both 18 years old. You watched how his smile got emptier with each day, how the light in his eyes got dimmer and dimmer. You remembered how helpless you felt because you knew that no matter what you said or did, it wouldn't fix anything. You remembered the way he became a recluse that summer after graduation- you almost didn't hear anything from him at all until that fall. You remembered the way your heart sank when you saw him again for the first time, but it wasn't really him. His face was more mature and settled in, his laugh was quieter, his attitude much more noticeable. He looked like his innocence was gone.

Now you were seated next to him in his campus apartment, sprawled out on the couch as he explained his plans for that night with you and his close friend Jean, who was seated on a stool across from the two of you.

"So what you mean to tell me..." you raised your eyebrow in his direction, only taking your eyes off your phone for a split second. "...is that you plan on going to this party, and not sleeping with anyone? Like not a single person?"

"You know Connie doesn't mean it since when has he followed through?"

"Can both of you shut up for the love of god."

Since his freshman year of college he decided that he would only indulge in hookups- and frequent ones at that. He had a tendency to sleep with about three new girls every weekend- along with the occasional guy if he was feeling it enough. It frustrated you to watch him pick everyone except for you, part of you knew it was his way of giving you some sort of cruel punishment. Punishment for not speaking up about Sasha back then- punishment for allowing him to get his heart broken while you just sat and watched from the side. It was a punishment that he in turn was taking out on everyone around him.

"Even if I do decide to fuck someone tonight" Connie stood from his seat, turning towards his dorm room. "That wouldn't be either of your business. I'm grown, Jean you're grown, and Y/N you're grown. We're all grown, so maybe it would be better if you two were more concerned with your own sex life instead of mine." He grabbed a large grey sweater for himself and accompanied it with a similarly styled black sweater that he tossed in your direction.

"Are we going for a smoke?" You stood up from your seat as well, leaving Jean to his own devices. With a swift nod he made his way towards the balcony near the living room, and you followed close behind- just like you always did.

As soon as you made it to the balcony you wrapped the sweater around yourself in an attempt to shield yourself from the brisk air. The familiar smell of cannabis filled your nose as you watched him light the joint in his hand, taking the first pull in the process. His silver buzz was finally starting to grow back in since he shaved it a year ago on his 19th birthday, and his eyebrow piercing that was the same shade as his hair barely glistened against the cloud covered sunlight. You could stare at him for hours if you had the choice to. Everything about him was perfect to you, the softness of his skin, the slight button of his nose, his contrasting hazel eyes-

"Are you gonna stare forever or are you gonna take a hit of this?" he tilted his head towards you, snapping you out of your temporary trance as you took the joint from him and inhaled smoothly.

"I know you're both just worried." He continued. "It's not really a secret, but I can take care of myself y'know."

You watched as he looked down at the campus beneath the two of you and he smiled pathetically to himself. You inhaled again instead of answering, both unsure of whether you wanted to answer and what you should have even said in response. You weren't used to him being vocally self aware. He had a habit of internalizing everything ever since the two of you were kids, this was the first time he was close to openly admitting anything. After a brief pause you decided to grunt in response as you passed the joint back to its owner. You watched him take another hit before finally deciding to speak.

"I know. I know you, Connie. I trust you. Always."

"I know." He clipped the joint on the railing and shoved the remainder back in his pockets as he let out a long sigh. "It's almost 7pm, you should probably start getting ready now unless you wanna show up to the party by yourself. I won't wait for you if you're late."

You raised your arms in defeat and let out a small laugh while making your way back inside, knowing Connie was following right behind.

"I'm going, I'll be back in an hour don't leave me. Jean make sure he doesn't leave us behind, got it?" You continued heading for the apartment door, pointing at Jean as you walked past him. You grinned as he gave a passive wave in response since he was too interested in whoever he was texting to fully pay attention.

Muffled "Bye's" were heard through the door as you exited the apartment, leaving a small grin on your face. For the first time in a few months you were genuinely excited to go out tonight. Tonight's gonna be different.