H A Z E L

4

TAKE ME TO CHURCH

-HOZIER

DEDICATED TO @TENA456 (Because she is a loser) ;) :)

***
I stare at my clock, dreading the moment when the hand reached six.

I didn't want to go. I would be forced into small talks, and awkward silences. I am not social, I rather stay in my room, listen to music, and be by myself. It was safer that way.

10 more minutes

Each time i heard the tick of the clock my heart skipped a beat. It was as if i was counting down moments to my death. But this was much worse.

My breath was short and hard. It took alot for me not to collapse, roll under my bed, and cry myself to sleep. Instinctively i rubbed my neck, searching for something, comfort. But, of course it wasnt there. I vowed never to wear that necklace again. It was locked away in my jewlrey box, but the memory that came with it still roamed freely.

I could still remember when my mother gave me that necklace. The silver dream catcher pendent sparkled under my lamp light as i was awoken by my mothers sobs. She said "Escape Hazel, I know you can escape from those haunting dreams. You're stronger than me." I was confused and afraid, but i couldnt ask anymore questions because before you know it, lugagge was being forced into my hands. My mom wrapped her arms around me and left a long kiss on my forehead. I can still feel the tear she shed trikling down my face. She shoved the necklace in my jacket pocket and whispered "escape" in my ears before Jean dragged me out the house and into her red truck.

I hate thinking about the night we left. Even though it was five years ago, i'd never forget it. Me and Jean dont ever bring it up, but i know it haunts her too. I think about how long i wore that necklace, thinking my mom would come back. I waited for five years. I finally gave up and vowed to never wear that necklace again.

I look at the clock again and sigh when i see that its now six. I run my hands over my black dress that i was forced to wear. I told Jean hoping she'd say no. But instead she nearly jumped out of her skin in excitement.

She wasnt here now, she was at work. So i could stay home and lie that i wasnt feeling well. Dylan would understand.

As much as i tried to persuade myself back into bed, i found myself tying my converse laces and waiting dowstairs for the doorbell to ring.

when the ding of the doorbell reached my ears, my breath began to get shorter and i rub my neck instinctively. I sit on the couch not wanting to open the door. Hoping if i pretended no one was home, he would go away. But for several minutes the door bell kept ringing, and ringing, and ringing. Untill finally the noise became poison to my ears.

I walk slowly to the door. I could run back now, back into my room. I hesitate opening the door. Debating wether i should turn the door knob.

My hand shook nervously as i turned the door knob almost in slow motion. The door flies open and i stare at the figure in the door way. His blue eyes glittering with excitement and his goofy grin tells me he was suprised i opened the door.

Dylan looks me up and down, and when his eyes meets mine his grin gets even wider.

"You look so beautiful"

He says stepping into my house.

Beautiful? Me?

My breaths began to get harder to take as i stand there breathing heavily. I look at the mirror placed to the left of the entrance. My frizzy black hair is placed in a high ponytail, and my dress was short enough to show my fat thighs. I was hideous.

I couldnt understand why he wanted to be seen with me in public.

"Hazel are you alright"

His big grin turns into a concerned frown. I continue to stand in a frozen state, hyperventilating and staring at myself.

I've always hated that mirror.

"Hazel"

He steps closer to me and i start to shake.

"Dont come any closer. Just leave. Im not feeling well"

I say my voice shaking. I still stare myself up and down in the mirror and a tear rolls down my eye.

"Hazel, wait, are...you..."

He puts his hand on my shoulder and our eyes meet in the mirror.

"Do you not know how beautiful you are, and im not just saying this because im your friend, im saying this because its true. Everything about you is breath taking and its sad how you cant see that."

he turns me around so that we are face to face and another tear rolls down my eyes. He holds my face in his hands and my breathing stops at the impact of his touch.

I close my eyes as his finger trails over my eyelids.

"your eyes, your big brown eyes"

He moves down to my nose

"Your cute nose"

i take in a quick breath as his fingers graze up and down my lips.

"Your lips....your sexy pink lips"

His hands grip my waist and i shiver at the sensation

"Your body, one of the most perfect things about you"

My eyes open and i stare intensely at his orbs, speechless.

I relise that my breath had returned to its normal pacing, but my heart, that was another story.

I knew he wasnt telling the truth, but it made me happy, that someone thought those things about me. As untrue as it was, it sounded like magic coming from his lips.

I get out of his grasp and grab my coat avoiding his eyes. I was shocked and confused as to what just happened and i wanted this situation to be over with. Even though i'd play it in my mind for infinite times.

"Im ready to go"

I stutter nervously.

I say walking outside and away from his view. He didnt need to see how pink i was. A small smile tugs at the end of my lips as i get in his car.

He still stands at the door way staring into space and smirking.

what was he thinking about?

I honk the horn, the loud sound blasted through the air. I giggled as he shook, startled by the sound. He trips against the door he was leaning against and i let out another giggle.

He walks towards the car and gets inside beside me.

"Oh yah....and your smile"

I pull my lips into a straight line immediatly and turn out the window. I was pink again. I smiled the whole time, making sure he wasnt looking.

It was an unsual thing for me to do. It was weird, smiling and laughing. But it felt good not having to put on a pretend mask. It was exauhsting to wear a mask that looked foriegn on me. My smile, it never reached my eyes. Untill now.

He put his hand on my hand and the other stayed on the steering wheel. I stared at his hand that was touching mine with wide eyes. Staring back and forth from his hand to him, waiting for him to remove it. But he kept staring at the road ahead. I stared at it for a little while longer and went back to my original position, leaning against the door.

So, This is what it felt like to have a friend.

***