Numb ~ Dreamnotfound

Chapter 12

"Would you like to stay for dinner, Clay?" George's mom asked as she walked into the living room where George and I had sat. I agreed to watch the first Harry Potter movie with him, although my head was too crazy with thoughts, so I hadn't really paid any attention.

I hesitated, not wanting to overstay my visit because of how my mind was, but I accepted. George had seemed to have moved closer to me while I was turned to face the kitchen, where his mom had been standing. His leg was almost touching mine, making me tense up slightly.

I stood up to avoid the touch. George looked up at me with a slightly sad look in his eyes. I looked down at the ground to avoid the dark eyes that had been looking up at me.

"Boys, dinner is ready!" George's mom yelled from the kitchen. I walked towards the kitchen with George following close behind. A man who must have been his father sat at the end of the table.

"Hey there, you must be Clay. Nice to meet you." He stuck out his hand, so I took hold of it, surprised by the strength of the grasp. I took a seat next to George at the table and had a plate of chicken and rice placed in front of me. George had been looking down at the table with his hands in his lap. As his mom placed a plate in front of him, she put her hand on his shoulder, making him look up. I gave him a quick smile before picking up my fork to start eating. He smiled back, the sadness in his eyes still noticeable.

George's parents made small talk throughout the dinner, asking about my hobbies and other things related to school. The time it took for everyone to finish eating seemed like forever, and I was relieved that the topic about my parents had not come up. I helped clean up my dishes, and followed George back upstairs to grab my backpack.

"Thanks for coming, I had a lot of fun." George said to me as I slung my backpack over my right shoulder.

"Thanks for having me. I had a lot of fun too." Before I could react, George threw his arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. I took a few seconds to realize what was happening, but I wrapped my arms around his waist.

Our bodies were pressed against each other, yet I did not tense up. I melted into the hug, absorbing his touch. Feeling his heartbeat against mine, my hands placed carefully on his small figure. His face was buried into my shoulder, his warm breath made its way onto my neck, making my face start to heat up.

"Sorry." He said, pulling away. My hands lingered on his waist for a few moments, not wanting to move them.

I pulled my hands back, gripping the straps of my backpack. "No it's alright. I liked it." George gave a small smile in response before walking past me and down the stairs. I followed closely behind, still longing for his touch again. I slipped my shoes on quickly and turned back to George. Our eyes locked for what felt like ages before a voice broke the gaze.

"Heading out?" George's mom said, making me take my attention away from George and turning it to her.

"Yes, thank you so much for having me."

"You're welcome here anytime Clay. Have a good night." I gave her a smile as she waved and walked back into the kitchen. I turned back to face George who had been looking up at me.

"Are you sure you can't stay longer?" He whined. He grabbed my wrist lightly and bounced up and down, as if he was a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

"I don't want my parents to get mad at me." I responded, looking down at the small, pale hand lightly gripping my wrist.

"Ok, ok fine. Call me later please." He said. His hand slid off of my wrist and made its way to my own palm. I swallowed hard and looked down at George.

"I will." A slight shakiness was obvious in my voice. I walked towards the door and opened it, George letting his hand slide out of my palm more, the further I got from him. I quickly made my way to my car and threw my backpack in the backseat.

I backed out of his driveway quickly, not wanting to stay there any longer. My eyes welled with tears, making my vision blurry. I stopped at a light and let my head hit the top of the steering wheel, my forehead resting on the back of my hands. Tears dripped off of my cheeks and onto my lap and arms. My body started to tremble as the car behind honked its horn, signaling that I had been sitting at a green light for too long. I lifted my head and drove home, wiping my eyes to clear my vision temporarily.

Warning- Angst

Both of my parents' cars had been in the driveway as I carelessly parked and ran into the house and up the stairs, not caring about my mom calling my name from the kitchen. I locked my door and threw my backpack onto the floor before letting myself collapse against my wall. I brought my knees up to my chest and ran my fingers through my hair, gripping it hard, the pain of my scalp not phasing me.

I rocked back and forth slightly, a shiver making its way throughout my body, my hands now shaking. My phone rang on the floor next to me, it was George. I let it ring through, not wanting to talk to him. The room went silent as the cheerful ringtone shut off, the only noise being my quiet sobs and my heavy, shaky, breath. A slam from downstairs echoed throughout the house, yet I did not care about what it could be. I let myself sit against the wall, my mind still too jumbled with thoughts to think about anything other than him.

His soft touch. The way my hands rested on his waist. The sadness in his eyes. The gaze we held. My hand holding his as I walked out the door. It was all too much. My phone buzzed on the floor again, it was George. My hand fell to the floor and shakily picked up the vibrating phone, sliding across the screen to answer and holding it to my ear.

"Hey Clay." He began. I tried to control my breathing by slowing it down, which hadn't been too effective. Tears still streamed down my face as the call went silent. "You there?" He asked, the concern in his voice could be easily heard.

"Y-yea. I'm here." I tried to say as steadily as possible, some shakiness was still evident.

"What's wrong Clay. You seemed off when you left. Did I make you uncomfortable?"

"No, George. You didn't make me uncomfortable." I wiped a tear from my cheek with my shirt.

"What's going on Clay? I can hear you crying." George's tone was filled with worry.

"Im feeling things that i've never felt before, George."

"Like what?"

"Whenever I'm with you, I feel it in my heart." I began, choking out the words as if they were negative. "Maybe its that stupid smile of yours, or the way you look at me, I don't know."

George took a deep breath before speaking, "Does that mean that you uh, have feelings for me?" He said in a quiet tone.

"I can't have feelings for you. It's not possible."

"The feeling you have, Clay. I have it too." He stuttered as he spoke, like he was nervous.

"I can't, George."

"I want to be yours, Clay. I want to call you mine. Please, Clay. Can we talk about this?" His voice became shaky, and I could hear him wipe away a tear.

"I can't be with you. I can't have these feelings. I can't, George."

"I can help you want those feelings. Please Clay." He cried heavier, mumbling his words to the point that they were barely audible.

"I can't."

I hung up on him. I hung up on him while he was crying. My grasp on my phone loosened and it fell to the floor. I let my head fall into my hands as my phone buzzed over and over, the sound of George desperately calling continuously, hoping that I would answer and fix all of this.

Shorter chapter today. Sorry it is taking so long for the updates, it takes hours to write each chapter