Yall I can't believe how much I got motivated after watching junnie and tyun's stay cover (any moa's reading this yall can rant abt txt any day, all day) <33 THEY WERE SO COOL OMG and icb bighit let them off without censoring im thriving. Txt sleeveless and swearing era>> ANYWAYSSS I had to reread everything lmao, I almost forgot what the plot was HSHDHSHHS well actually there are a lot of parts that I'll change cause I forgot what was supposed to happen :DD + my writing style back then doe gbye and my use of emoji hello sobs the embarrassment.
ANYWHOO HAPPY READING LUVS <33
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Aiko's POV
Some people are scared to fall in love, whether platonic, familial, or romantically; that group of people includes me. Love is a fragile thing; honestly, even the slightest slip of the tongue might severe a relationship beyond repair. Call me a pessimist, but it's an unavoidable truth. Perhaps if my history were a bit different, my view on this emotion would've been slightly more optimistic, or maybe if I had grown up in a different environment, it would've been different. Nevertheless, I did not. Furthermore, I trust my reel of memories much more than I trust the seemingly sweet words of others, especially regarding the subject of love.
It's quite a horrific experience, giving your heart to a person. Honestly, I truly envy those who could freely, even nonchalantly, fall for someone. I can't fathom living a life as such. Wearing a heart on my sleeve, I'd often ponder the meeting of that casually thrown phrase. Perhaps I could've experienced those emotions, fleeting first love and so forth, however certainly not with my given condition.
Sometimes I wonder how truly loving a person can feel; the thought often comes along with the guilt I carry whenever I meet my friends. But, of course, the whole Karasuno volleyball team is well aware of my condition; Tobio knows all the details in depth. Although they would often whisper consoling words, a part of me can't believe how I've come to stumble upon such a kindhearted and welcoming group of individuals. As someone who carries a trauma on her back, being grateful can barely scratch the surface. If I could finally love again, they certainly would be the first on my list.
I'd often imagine the day I could say those three words out loud for them to hear. "I love you." It' not so hard, is it?
Our encounter is a miracle, nothing short of such.
The whistle blew, signaling that the practice was on halt, players swarming around the bleachers during their short yet well-earned break.
I contemplated, should I see him or not? Should I wait for him to come to me?
One of the flaws I carried along with my phobia is the irritating second-guessing thoughts that often flood my mind. The idea of getting my heart shattered is horrifying, eventually contemplating becomes a habit. However, this time I wouldn't let it get the best of me. I know confessing my love towards my friends is still far-fetched; however, getting over this scanty fear is the first step I'm willing to take for the sake of those who've stayed by my side.
Picking myself up, I strode towards Tobio's current position, which was quite the walk, considering the size of the stadium. I counted my steps. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Each felt light as if I had left a heavy burden behind with every step I took.
"Tobio," I voiced out loud, perhaps a bit too boisterous, as I saw heads turning towards our direction.
My best friend faced my figure, his visage fully facing mine.
Bravely inhaling a breath of confidence, I intertwined our gaze with complete confidence.
"I'm sorry. Although your words undoubtedly hit me quite hard, it was no excuse to treat you the same way."
I sighed, part one done.
"You know, we've been through much worse. In fact, if we totaled all the unfortunate things we've encountered together, it'll be ten times as much, so there's no reason for us to fret over small details like this. But, truthfully, isn't this quite an amusing sight to see? Two high schoolers fighting over something as trivial as this?"
"Tobio, I just want you to know, I'm not mad at you. Sure, maybe I was a bit ticked off, but I wasn't angry, and i'll never be. Not at you. The best friend who knows me much more than I know myself. If you're mad at me, however, that's completely fine, I respect your opinion. I just want you to know that you're still my fave setter one and only milk boy, no matter what happens."
By the time I was finished, perhaps I'd finally regained color on my pale porcelain face; my cheeks felt extremely hot, probably flushed a dark shade of crimson. Tobio was silent, to my dismay, and I was far too cowardly to see meet his gaze. Therefore I kept my head low.
It was a warm embrace that made me forget all the heart-racing thoughts that clouded my mind—all was clear, crystal clear. Nothing in the universe could ever disrupt this moment; the world was only filled with Tobio, his warmth, and I; nothing could be better. If this is what love feels like, then I won't ever mind.
As I looked up, I saw his brown orbs and his lips curving into a notable smile.
"I was never mad at you either, Aiko; I'll never be. You could blame my misses during practice for my bad mood today, but that's no excuse to hurt you. And of course, as always, you're right. Life is far too short, and theres no way i'm wasting it by distancing myself from you."
If words could heal, Tobio's retort certainly was a sturdy plaster on my wounded heart.
YOU ARE READING
𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒕;; hoshiumi kourai
Fanfiction"Are you Aiko?" enquired the white-haired boy. I squinted my eyes at him suspiciously. "That name is widely used. Which Aiko are you looking for?" What if you don't remember your first love? Well let me make things clear, it sucks. Korai Aiko, a 15...
