Some love never fades

Chapter 12

                Mom needed to go back to work so our long 4 day camping weekend came to an end the following morning. Mom worked evenings at a local plastics factory. I remember how nervous I was about how it would work having other people at our house. Normally it was just me from the time she’d leave for work at 3pm until just after 2am. I looked forward to having company. The nights got pretty lonely in the country by myself. But more than that I had come to enjoy the intimate relationship that Todd and I were forging. To my surprise the only rule, well it wasn’t even really a rule; more of an assignment really, was about the sleeping arrangements. All 3 of us girls were to be sleeping in my full size bed. It was a little crowded. And Todd was assigned to the couch in the living room, which in our house was right outside of my bedroom door. Otherwise there were no rules about behavior or doors being open or anything. I’m not sure why this surprised me as much as it did. After all my mom was a hippie by nature, loving everything peaceful and artistic. She had always looked at our relationship as more of a friendship and that if I was gently guided but otherwise left alone I would make the right choices for myself. Up until my teen years that philosophy worked wonderfully for her.

                Being in the country gave the four of us tons of time to spend together and a very limited number of options for activities. The first day or two were exciting. I had things to show them. We swam in my pond for hours. Hooked the hose up to the sprinkler and used it to build a slip n slide into the pond. Went for long walks on country roads. Played hide and seek in the cornfield in the dark, during which we almost lost Bri. And of course watched tons of movies. We were even abiding by the rules very well too. Todd and I still snuck many moments a day to make out, in the cornfield, during our walks, etc. But every night when it was bed time I kissed him goodnight and headed to bed with the girls. They especially loved girl talk every night but they were starting to get irritated by my desire to talk about Todd. By the third night the novelty had worn off and the constant togetherness was starting to ware on all of us. That day had been a rainy one and we had been inside attempting to play games and watch movies all day. Todd and Lori got into a couple arguments, inserting me squarely in the middle between two of the most important people in my life. That was a place I didn’t want to be. The arguments continued to get more frequent throughout the day and the atmosphere increasingly hostile. Lori was starting to turn some of that anger towards me for not picking a side by dinner time. I didn’t do so well with confrontation and I really disliked fighting. Let’s just say those are just a few of the byproducts of a tumultuous childhood that I still carry around. I was able to escape to make dinner for a short period of time. Todd came out to help. We hadn’t gotten many moments together that day with all the rain and hostility. We worked side by side making supper for everyone. It was so natural, like that was how life was intended for me. That bliss was to be short lived for me though. Dinner on the couch in front of a movie was too quiet. There was a tension in the air. The final straw was delivered by an innocent move that I’d done hundreds of times. As we all settled into our L-shaped sectional after supper to watch the movie I snuggled in under Todd’s arm, giggling at the couple of tickles he managed to slip by me before I got situated. I must have missed a question from her while I was resettling myself because suddenly I could feel her hot glare directly on me. I looked up to find that I was right.

“You’re gonna throw away a longtime friendship for a boy that never calls you. The Lacey I knew would have never let a boy control that much of her life." Lori was pissed.

I didn’t know what to say. Part of what she was saying was right. I had told her all about how girls should be strong and independent even in relationships but being in one was different. I was still trying to manage it all. She grabbed her plate from where it rested on the coffee table and stomped out of the room. When she came back through Todd jumped her for talking to me the way she did which as I predicted started a screaming match between the two siblings. Bri and I tried to melt into the couch to escape from the onset of anger from the two that seemed to have been boiling for months. We heard about problems from both sides that were 6 months old already. Finally Lori made a break for my bedroom and slammed the door. We finished the last 35 minutes of the movie, giving her time to cool off, before Bri and I headed into my bedroom to talk it out with Lori. I kissed Todd before I left, telling him I loved him, just in case I was in bed for the night. Lori was right about being one of my oldest friends. She needed the time tonight. However when we went in the room and closed the door Lori had a different idea. She wanted me to break up with Todd so that we could resume our old friendship. At first I tried to reason with her, telling her that we could all make it work, that I’d just make sure I made more time for her. She was so angry that I wasn’t able to calm her at all which made me frustrated. After over an hour of trying to reason with her I lost my cool and screamed at her that I wasn’t leaving Todd and she needed to get used to it. That went over like a lead balloon. “You love him more than you love me but he doesn’t love you like that” she screamed at me. That made me furious! “You don’t know anything about love” I screamed back and turned and walked out the door slamming it behind me.