(COMPLETE) Love Isn't Conditional

The New Date

TW - Mention of religion and homophobia. The reason why Logan's given up on love.

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Roman walked into the coffee shop, adjusting his beanie against the autumn winds. He loved September, it wasn't cold but the weather was getting colder; the leaves weren't dead but they were becoming a soft orange, the world looked magical. He ordered a warm cappuccino, admiring the steam ascended from it. After looking around for a few minutes he spotted the reason he came in the coffee shop (apart from the good coffee), his friend Logan was sat in a corner booth with a good book.

"Good morning." Roman yawned as he walked over and sat at the opposite end of the booth from his friend. Logan gave a small smile, finished the page he was reading, placed the bookmark in and stuffing the book back in his massager bag. "Where have you put Virgil?"

"Emile said he'd babysit." Logan responded, also taking a sip of the coffee he had bought earlier.

"Oh shit." Roman laughed, taking a sip of his coffee. "Emile's babysitting Patton too – it will be chaos." The two laughed a little, imagining what level of paint, flour and/or sand the toddlers were covered in now. And Roman knew that Remus was probably encouraging the madness from the side-lines.

After the laughter there was a comfortable hum of silence. Logan and Roman had met alone in the coffee shop for a while now, once a fortnight since they first encountered each other in the coffee shop in June. It was just nice to sit together without the kids sometimes. They could talk about things they didn't want their kids to hear – Logan's religious family he was estranged to, Roman's ex and custody battles, even stupid things like taxes. They also discussed future play dates and sleepovers including activities to entertain the kids with.

That being said, Roman didn't mind sitting opposite Logan and just looking at him. He was very attractive and the happiness in his face when talking about his favourite TV shows or Virgil was irreplaceable. Unfortunately, being boyfriends wasn't an option. Logan was firmly against romantic love.

*****

Roman remembered when the pair had met in August. They were chatting about nothing Roman could remember, possibly a documentary Logan had recently watched, but slowly theism came into the conversation.

"I mean I personally think it makes no logical sense." Logan mumbled as he stirred his coffee, not looking at Roman just yet. "There are so many religious paradoxes – let alone what it does to people."

"I think my ex mentioned this philosopher – called Jung or something - that said religion helps people be kinder." Roman said with another sip. He almost laughed watching Logan raise an eyebrow with a judgemental glance. Janus did tell Roman a lot of philosophies about being a good person even though he wasn't that great a person himself. "But yeah, homophobia really is shit."

Logan gave a small smile, thinking about something and sipping his coffee again. The small silence allowed Roman to relax and admire the sun shining outside the shop and families preparing for a day out in the many parks and swimming pools in the village area during the kids' summer holidays. "You know... I'm grateful for my family's stupidity."

This time Roman gave a judgemental glance before Logan explained himself. "It got me out of that toxic environment, and I didn't think of bringing anyone else into it. I found myself and lost my naivety that someone can love another so much that the love becomes eternal." Logan seemed to avoid looking directly at his friend, instead kept his eyes glued on the small families entering the shop the two sat in for a coffee break.

"Yeah... Love sure is conditional..." Roman repeated what Logan had said before, when their sons had their first sleepover. Over time Roman had been inclined to agree, Janus' love for him had seemed to turn off like a light switch. It was very sad that he was now alone with his toddler son.

*****

As of September however Roman thought differently. Sure, Janus' love for him wasn't eternal and was brushed away like an insect without a care. When Roman glanced at Logan he prayed for a different outcome. Logan was such a good man, a more amazing father to Virgil, and Patton and Virgil acted like brothers already. Logan would fit so well into Roman's small family.

"So has anything happened recently?" Logan asked, his tainted blue eyes sparkling slightly with a smile. The smile almost made Roman's face erupt in red for a moment, trying to think of anything to say that didn't make it seem like Roman wanted to date Logan.

"I... I have a date." Roman managed to whisper, followed by immediate regret.

"A date? Oh – you moved on quickly..." Logan sipped his coffee, moving his blue scarf around his neck and adjusting his glasses. Roman raised an eyebrow, unsure whether he was meant to be offended. "Does Patton know? Does the date know about Patton? I would recommend mentioning your son as soon as possible to avoid the kind of people similar to your ex." Logan spoke quickly, possibly nervously, pulling on his black gloves while he spoke. But he didn't seem to mind his best friend finding a partner, unfortunate for Roman's desires. Roman attributed the nervousness to his concern over Patton, making Patton upset was the last thing either of them wanted – and it would be the same with Virgil too.

Roman thought about saving this cobweb of lies by telling Logan he was the other person participating in the date, but alas he was not that smooth. "Uh – yeah he knows about Patton. He has a kid too – two actually – he's really a family guy so I thought that would be the best person to date." Roman spurted anything he could think of, trying to make the mystery man sound similar to Logan to give him a hint, but also sounding like a different person to avoid suspicion. Logan nodded, seeming satisfied with that answer.

"Where did you meet this guy?" Logan was smiling wide now, seeming interested in what Roman was saying like he was watching an entertaining Disney film.

"Oh, he's one of my dad's patients." Roman said calmly. It was a perfect alibi as it would cause Logan to constantly think about it while he was at work; Logan was in charge of Emile's patients after all. Then maybe the jealousy would set in and Logan would fall in love. "So Patton's seen him too, he's a real good guy Lo."

Logan gave another nod, looking away with a small smile. "What's his name?"

"Uh, confidential. Dad said I shouldn't tell anyone at Universe Therapies." The next nod allowed Roman to let out a breath that there won't be more details added. He thought he could add some details before Logan thought he was lying. "He has two boys named Gavin and Leo, aged 8 and 13."

"Well, I hope it all goes well." Logan chuckled after a small silence, checking his phone for a moment but then sitting up. "Oh is that the time? I've got work, sorry. Do you mind telling Emile I'll pick V up at 3:30 rather than 2:45?" Logan quickly stood after Roman nodded, putting his dark blue coat on again and giving Roman another soft smile that made Roman's heart skip a beat. "See you later Ro." And with that Logan walked out of the shop. Roman's smile dropped, Logan didn't seem that affected by Roman's new date, maybe there was no hope for dating Logan after all.

What Roman didn't know was that Logan's smile dropped too as soon as he left the coffee shop, and his mind didn't stop telling him that he 'missed his chance'.