A Linstead Future

2

Erin put her hand out and stopped Jay from walking into the hotel room.

"Is there something wrong?" Jay asked, wondering why he couldn't come in.

"There's actually something I need to tell you, but I can't do it here, can we meet tomorrow morning? I feel like that will be better," Erin suggested nervously.

"Yeah, that's fine. I guess I'll be going then, I'm sorry," Jay apologized, he hadn't meant to bother her.

"Don't apologize, I'm sorry for making you come all the way here and then rescheduling. I'll see you in the morning though," Erin responded.

That night was a hard one for both of them; Both Jay and Erin laid wide awake in bed almost all night, their minds racing because of what had happened. Erin had a secret that she wanted to tell Jay so bad; Jay had something he wanted to tell Erin so badly. And yet neither of them would just come out and say it so they're both losing sleep because of their fears.

Finally, after hours of exhaustion from laying in bed letting the anxiety take over, both of them fell asleep, Erin seemingly alone, and Jay in bed with Hailey. The next morning, Jay got up and got dressed, kissed his wonderful girlfriend good morning and good bye and headed to the diner nearest the precinct. 

He walked in and seen that Erin was already there; he had left 30 minutes early so he would be there early, but she had left a little bit before him.

"I see you got here early too, then," Jay smiled, "you never could stand being late."

"Yeah, look at you! Early! Must be something on your mind, you wanted to scope the place out before I got here!" Erin giggled, "All jokes aside, I'm sorry about last night. What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, Erin, I want to tell you something, but you can't freak out," Jay said.

"Jay, there's something I have to tell you, too," Erin looked down at her lap, she fiddled her fingers together and finally stopped herself and let her fingers interlock.

"Me first. Erin... I HATE you. I HATE you for leaving me like that. I hate you because I loved you so much and you just left me. I was gonna marry you. I was gonna love you forever. I wanted to start a family with you. I wanted to call you mine, forever. And you left me. And I hate you for it..." Jay started.

"Damn, Jay... I'm sorry but-" Erin interrupted but was cut off by Jay.

"NO, let me finish. I hate you for all of that. But I still fucking love you. And I will always love you. And I know I'm with Hailey now, and I'm happy with her, but she doesn't make me feel how you made me feel. I also know we are in two different places right now, and I don't want to hurt Hailey, so I wanted to talk with you before I did anything irrational."

"Jay...I'm burying my mom in a few days. I'm going back to New York. There's nothing for you in my life. I will always love you, but not like that anymore. Besides, I'm not going to be the home-wrecker. You are with Hailey now, be the man you always were with me. Love her. Love her right. Marry her, and start a family with her. I saw the way you were looking at her yesterday. You never looked at me like that," Erin argued.

"But I did. Erin I still do. And I guess I just needed closure, and so that is why I'm telling you. I'm not expecting to be with you again, nor am I asking now. I just wanted it off my chest, I'm sorry," Jay apologized yet again.

"There's something I want to get off my chest, as well," Erin began, but as she was talking, Jay's phone started ringing and he was being called into work. A dead body had been found and he had to go solve a crime now.

"We can finish this conversation later!" Jay exclaimed as he ran out of the diner.

"Okay," Erin sighed, and she began to fidget again.

A few moments passed and Erin called Kim. 

"Hey, what's up?" Kim answered.

"I tried to tell him," Erin replied.

"Tried...? Erin, you HAVE to tell him. He needs to know," Kim responded, concerned.

"I'm going to tell him, I just don't know how. How do you tell someone that....you know what, forget it, I'll figure it out, I've got to go, I'm sorry," Erin hung up the phone. She left a twenty on the table and ran to the bathroom where she proceeded to pace back and forth. 

She slammed her hand against the counter and then ran out the door and outside to her car. She wanted to leave, to get away, to go anywhere. But she had responsibilities. And right now, she had to go home, or at least in this instance, back to the hotel. 

Meanwhile, Jay had just arrived at the scene where he was greeted by the concerned face of his beautiful girlfriend, Hailey. She briefed him on what they knew so far and then they headed back to the precinct to find leads and to research suspects. 

Kim walked up the stairs and right to Jay's desk. She didn't mean to interrupt the case, but she did.

"Hey, you need to talk to Erin. I can't tell you why, you just...you have to talk to her," Kim vaguely explained.

"Okay...? I'll go tonight, I'm busy right now," Jay responded.

"I don't think it can wait till tonight, I think you need to go right now," Kim demanded.

"Okay, I guess I will go then," he grabbed his jacket, told Voight he was leaving and then walked out..

"What was that all about," Ruzek asked after pulling her into the locker room so they could speak privately.

"Well..." Burgess begins to explain.

As she explains to Adam what is going on, Jay arrives at the hotel. He walks into the lobby and sees Erin, sitting on the couch watching a woman with a little boy from far away. 

"Boo!" He surprises her.

She jumps, not expecting to see him. "What are you doing here?" She says, defensively.

"You wanted to tell me something and didn't get the chance to. So, shoot. Tell me!" He smiles, "I'm a listening ear, aren't I?"

"Well, I don't know how much you're going to want to hear this," she sinks into her chair, her eyes go sad and her mood drops quickly.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Jay questioned. He becomes very concerned and doesn't know what to do. Should he continue questioning her or just sit there and wait for her to talk.

As he is debating in his head, he notices the little boy running his way, screaming with the biggest and cutest smile on his face, "Mommy!"

A/N - Comment what you think of this part please, any feedback helps! Thank you! The more comments, the more motivated I am to write. If I see a lot of comments on something, I tend to write it faster ;)