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ACT 3: WHEN I WAS WASHING THE BLOOD OFF MY HANDS
Jeongguk has always been under a spotlight.
As his wife, Lalisa knows this, of course she does. She's seen the way how the light bounces off his skin whenever he's on stage. It embraces him into the comfort of its glow, and in return, he delivers an electrifying performance that leaves the goosebumps in it wake. To Jeongguk, the stage is his home. She understands it, or at least she tries to.
It's difficult to empathize with the raging applauses and defeaning screams. Having an idol as a husband is not all secret escapades and stolen kisses. There's no thrill in hiding in filthy alleys to avoid obsessive fans nor catching your breath as you try to outrun the paparazzi. It's just... you force yourself to live with it. There's no other choice.
You just stand behind their backs and watch as they take over the world piece by piece.
Lalisa herself has always been obscured by a shadow.
While Jeongguk basks in the light, she hides from it. If Jeongguk's voice echoes throughout stadiums, hers gets drowned out by the whooping cheers. When Jeongguk smiles and grins in front of the unending cameras, she's in their apartment, bundling herself in layers of blankets with only her cats to comfort her.
She's always been the first person to get pushed back into the crowd when Jeongguk is seen in public, but she's also the last person he goes home to after a long, long tour. As much as she wants Jeongguk all to herself, his growing flames of fame doesn't let her. It's consuming him, bit by bit, nearly devouring his entirety as more events and more shows pile up in his schedule, as more fansigns and photo shoots narrow the chances of them being together.
It's like being married to an old recorder, almost; always the same I love you, I'll be back, I have rehearsal, don't wait up for me, see you soon over and over again. It's a dynamic she's gotten used to for the past years, only because she has no other option. While he gives all that he could to the stage, she sacrifices everything that she has just for him.
Sometimes, though, she wonders if she's a fool.
* * *
The end of an era, that's what Jeongguk told her yesterday night before his tour officially ended. She'd laughed then, about to retort a comment when she heard snores from right beside her, and that's when she knew the conversation was already over right before it started.
She's used to it.
Hotel Cicero is a brand new hotel that stands proud and tall in the midst of Gangnam-gu. Jeongguk had requested for it to be specifically the place where the celebration for the success of his tour will be held, in an en suite that his company had reserved especially for him, Lalisa, and his manager. The celebration is only for the three of them, though, because her husband wanted it to be private and spend it with the most important people in his life.
