CM Incorrect Quotes

195

Rossi: everyone ready?

Derek: wait! I need my shovel!

Emily: I need my bucket.

JJ: well I came prepared! I got the duct tape already!

Reid: I got the giant pasta noodle!

Rossi: for the last time...it's called rope.

Garcia: I got the lighter and lighter fluid!*Everyone gets to the beach full of people running away and screaming*

Rossi: Hotch! What the-is that a body?

Hotch: *holding a cadaver* yah...

Rossi: why do you have a body?

Hotch: you texted me saying that we were going to the beach to bury a body...

Rossi: yah, as in someone who's alive!

Hotch: why the hell would you do something so cruel?!

Derek: yah Rossi! That's just sick!

Reid: I'm with Morgan and Hotch on this one...

Emily: what the hell do you Italians do for fun?!

JJ: seriously Rossi what's the matter with you?!

Rossi: wait, all of you guys thought that we were coming to the beach to bury a body?!

Derek: yah, what else would we do?

Rossi: oh I don't know...relax in the sun, read a book. Take a swim.

Hotch: then why the hell did you text us to bring all of this stuff?

Rossi: the shovel and bucket are for sand castles. The rope is so we can tie it to a tree and use it to swing into the water. The lighter and lighter fluid is for a fire to cook our meal over.

Reid: then what's the duct tape for?

Hotch: ya the duct tape doesn't make any sense...

Rossi: oh ya, I wanted you to tape me up with it and throw me in the lake and let me drown.

Hotch: makes sense.

Rossi: what?! No! I was joking! It's for emergencies. Have you ever heard the phrase, duct tape fixes everything?!

Hotch: well then why didn't you tell us to bring bathing suits and towels and sunscreen? Its not like people automatically think of these things when they think about a beach...

Rossi: yes it is!

Hotch:then how come you're the only one here with a towel and bathing suit on this entire beach?

Rossi: Because everyone started running when you brought a dead body onto the beach!

Hotch: that's no excuse for your poorly written instructions.

Rossi: have none of your parents ever taken you to the beach?!

Hotch: my dad used to call me a beach.

Reid: my dad didn't call me at all!

Derek: my dad's dead.

Rossi: so all of you thought you were bringing things to help bury a body?!

Everyone: *nods their heads*

Hotch: well... I kind of carried this dude all the way over here...might as well bury him and make a fun surprise for some kids!

Reid: ya it'll be like finding dinosaurs!

Rossi:...

Derek: *takes the shovel and starts digging*

Hotch: *tosses body into shallow grave*

JJ: *puts lighter fluid on the body*

Hotch: *tosses the lighter in with the body making it go up in flames*

Everyone: *watches the body burn in excitement*

Hotch: I think we all learned an important lesson today.

Rossi: thank you-

Hotch: never listen to Rossi's advice. *everyone nods their heads*