Becoming Ready

Chapter 9 - Reunited, And It Feels...

"Hey, Cassius," Charlie said cheerfully, making use of her acting skills.

'Just breathe,' she thought to herself.

"Do you... go here?" Cassius asked, still absorbing what was happening.

"Yeah, I do," she answered, miraculously keeping her voice steady. "I'm studying Acting. I got into it after I got the lead in the school play at Saint Peters last year."

"Wow," he said, his eyes still wide. "That's great. You look great."

Charlie felt a weird stabbing sensation in the depths of her heart, but she ignored it.

"You do too," she offered.

They both stood there, staring at each other. Charlie was having serious flashbacks to the first time they met in the hallway at Saint Peters, three years ago. When she thought about everything that had happened between then and now, her head spun again.

This was the guy she fell in love with, lost her virginity to, and planned to marry, all before he broke up with her out of the blue the summer before her Senior Year. That breakup had led to an ugly downward spiral, and although it wasn't all because of him, Cassius was the major reason behind her heavy drinking. She had been to enough AA meetings at this point to know she couldn't blame her behavior on anyone but herself, but if she had to list the things she had chosen to drink over, Cassius was at the top of that list.

Charlie spoke first. "I've got to get to class, but I'm sure I'll see you around."

Before she could walk away, he stopped her. "Charlie... wait. Would you maybe want to get dinner sometime? Catch up? It's been a while."

'What... did he.. just.. say?' she thought. Charlie was so shocked, it was like her brain short-circuited. 

She went on autopilot. "Sure, sounds good, I'll see you later."

She walked away before he could say anything else, her heart pounding so hard she could hear it in her ears.

'Why did I just say yes to that?' she asked herself. When her brain shut down, which it so clearly did just now, it was as if a robot took over and accepted the invite for her. At least it was a socially graceful robot. 

But she had a boyfriend for goodness sake. Why didn't she tell him that?

Shawn would not be cool with her going out to dinner with her ex. No way. What boyfriend would be cool with that? 

Charlie arrived at the screening room, finally, with about a minute to spare before class started. She settled into a seat toward the front, because her eyes were terrible and she still hadn't gotten glasses, despite knowing she needed them. 

She tried her best to pay attention and listened to the professor as he walked them through the curriculum. They were going to be watching some seriously old movies. As in, like, some of the first movies ever made. But Charlie did see some film titles she recognized from the Golden Age of Hollywood on the syllabus, so at least it wouldn't be entirely boring. She liked movies from the thirties and forties.

Charlie's mind wandered back to her conversation with Cassius. She knew it was wrong, but a part of her really wanted him to know how she was doing now. He was such a big part of her life, and he used to know everything about her. Now they were practically strangers. He didn't even realize they would be at the same school this year. That felt wrong to her. 

It wasn't that she wanted to get back together with him, although she couldn't quite explain to herself why her heart twinged when he said she looked good. She just wanted to show him that she was doing well. That she had survived after he broke up with her. 

Sure, not everything was great. She was living in a tiny apartment with her family and attending AA meetings, but on the other hand, she was also going to Art School because she was talented at acting. She had a new boyfriend. She was... happy.

And she wanted him to know. 

**I want to know what you think of this new development!