Sweet Haram.

¥ Seventeen ¥

"Well we don't know if it's a niece or nephew" Reema jokes.

I was too shocked to say a word. Lala looked so uncomfortable, trying to avoid eye contact.

I stare at her. She didn't tell me I'm going to be a father. I don't know if I should jump for joy or not because I'm not so sure about how each one of these women will react.

I hold her arm "ina zuwa (I'm coming)" I pull her out with me.
I just stare at her when we enter the kitchen, she finally smiled, probably relived she is away from Ma.

"You should have told me" I say still not sure how I should react.
She frowns "I know you don't love me but..."
I shake my head before this woman starts thinking crazy things.

I smile "I'm happy, I really am" I hug her tightly "it's just so unexpected, we only had sex once and..."

She crosses her arms "So? You do know a woman can get pregnant with just that right?"
I nod "We need to discuss this more but away from all those people there"

I can't believe I'm referring to the women I'd lay my life for like that. A year ago those three women were my life and now there's Lala and maybe a mini Lala too, those three women...life is as cruel as they say it is, Now I get one of the reasons Ma doesn't accept Lala.

We walk back in but Fayza isn't there.
"Where is Fayza?"

"She just left" Reema says back with a huge chunk of watermelon in her mouth.
"What?" I quickly ran out.

.
"Dahir what?" She asks pulling her hand away from my grasp forcefully.

"You know I'm still a virgin right?"
I say nothing.
"For you. I kept thinking you'd eventually do something about it"

I huff "it's not something I can just do"
"If you don't agree with something Baba set up you always find a way out, you even did that for Reema but you kept quiet when you heard you were getting married to Mallika, why?"

"Maybe this happened for a reason...Allah—"
"Let's not bring religion into this, it's about your feelings. Yours".

"Hanif is a great person" was all I could say back.
"I know but he isn't you" she huffs "I don't know what your reason was but I'll accept it, I know more than anyone that you don't do things for no reason"

She walks away.

......
Hanif's  POV.

I have just been staring at Fayza for the past ten minutes, I heard the news but she looks more disturbed than I do, I should be looking like that and not her.

And Dahir is at work scolding himself for god knows for what reason, he's a confused human being.

She was wearing a vest, grey one and I think it might be mine since it looks big. She's not wearing a bra so you can see part of her boobs by the side, she wore black shorts but the vest covered it completely. Even I don't wear that vest anymore because it's too big.

"Hanif" she calls my name startling me.
"Yeah?" She was still so focused on the keys she kept twisting and turning in her hands.

"What if I want a baby too?"

I freeze.
"What?"
She smiles looking at me intently "What if I also want a child?" She asks again with so much hope in her eyes.

"You know that would have to mean we'd have sex, right? I'm all up for it but you didn't seem like that's something you'd even like to think about"

She huffs "So? You're my husband"
I nod, I might be slow when it comes to women but this woman has something else going on in her head "Fayza are we really ready for a child? I can agree that Dahir might but I don't think I am"

"Mallika has Dahir and you have me, why can't it work?"

I smile at her, sadly "I don't know what has come over you this afternoon but even you know you aren't ready and I'm not either, let's discuss us when you've cleared your mind" I stand and walk out.

From the dining room I can hear her sniffling.
I don't know what why I feel Dahir might know what is happening.

.

I walk in and see him with his face buried and in his palms, Dawud was leaning on my table beside him while Jafar sat on the couch, sitting up.

"I thought this is a happy day?"
They all raise their heads and look at me

"Hanifa" Dawud say laughing as he walks over and swings his arms around my shoulder, standing on his toes.

"Shege guntu (shorty) this should be an embarrassing moment for you"
He removes his hand and smiles, he was trying to make the mood feel less intense.

"I thought you left for the day" Jafar says shaking my hand.
"I rushed over—-"

"Just to see me?" Dawud jokes.
Dahir was still leaning on his table just staring at us blankly, it seems like only his body is present and his mind elsewhere.

I glare at the short man "No. I heard my brother" I walk over and put my hand on Dahir's shoulder though I doubt he noticed "I heard my brother here is soon going to be a father".

He stands "I'll be out in ten minutes" he informs his friends who just smile at me and walk out.

"What about with Fayza?" He asks and honestly I couldn't help but tilt my head questioningly.

"She said she wants a baby too" I answer.
"Hanif I fucked up, really bad".

"Why? What did you do?"
"Haven't you noticed how alike Fayza and I are? She likes and hates everything I like and hate".

"Yeah. Because she looks up to you".
"No. Because I wanted my life to be easier, I wanted it to be exactly the way I planned so I thought getting married to Fayza might just be the best for both she and I, I had that thought when I was 18. Since then i literally groomed her to be exactly like me because I thought that's the kind of woman I liked"

I just stare, not planning to say a word until he's done.
"I knew she loved me for years, even before I had that dumb idea I knew. But when we grew up we started doing things together more, we were always together and most of the time it felt weird because we agreed on the same things and sometimes when she has doubts something she stays quiet. I started realizing I couldn't be with someone who was exactly like me" he huffs.

"That was why I kept postponing talking to Baba about her, it wasn't like I had a plan or that I changed my mind about marrying her but I was fearful for both her future and mine"
"Mhmm?"

He looks at me "Someone like Lala wasn't what I wanted for myself but after getting married to her I realized even though we don't have feelings for each other we stabilize one another and I thought it would be the same with you and Fayza especially because you're a very likable person" he smiles sadly.

"But then I realized she wasn't budging. She still hung onto those past feelings" he buries his face in his palm laughing frustratedly.
" I always wanted to make her and Sabeeha happy. I even begged Baba to let her work at the office so she doesn't have to deal with Ma's complains but it turns out I'm the one who's going to hurt her the most"

"She'll have a baby"
He stares at me like I was making no sense.
"If she wants a baby so be it. But during the 9 months I'll make her realize that the dreams you two have are long gone and I'll make the memories so foggy she can't remember. So don't bother yourself about anything because you know no one knows the way you care about those sisters more than I do, they mean just as important as Reema is to you so don't worry, I've got both of you and I'll fix this".

He smiles "No matter what we can't force our children into marrying anyone" he jokes laughing.

"Definitely" I laugh along.

Thoughts?