COMFORT PLACE | bang chan.

[ 08 ] a sudden realisation

The same street that Chan had walked me home those many nights ago feels different somehow. It's like a lane of memories — Chan's smile and adorable laugh instantly coming to mind whenever I would walk down the same street.

And maybe it's a little embarrassing that Chan's been in my mind almost every hour of the day, but it's really hard to forget about him when he's texting me none stop. Though, I'm sure that even if he didn't, I'd most likely still think about him anyway.

He's just the type of person you could never forget even if you tried. Chan is a memorable person.

He's still yet to answer my text that I sent him this morning, which of course never fails to make me worry just a little bit, but at least he hasn't left me on read this time.

I haven't talked to him like Felix had suggested I should do. I just can't find the right moment to mention it to him. Chan takes my breath away so easily that I instantly become invested in what he's saying. He calls me a lot when he's working, and sometimes we don't even talk, we just work on our own things while we stay on a phone call. It's relaxing. I hear him breathing softly through the phone and mumble a few lyrics under his breath sometimes, and it's cute.

However, I've also realised that I'm usually the one who says good night first. We'd be on a call late into the evening, but I'm always the one who leaves first. Chan is always the one who stays up. It worries me.

I need to do something about that. I need to help him sleep earlier. The fact that he's an insomniac hurts my heart, especially when I see the bags under his eyes that he would try to hide under some BB cream.

Felix is right; Chan does try to hide his problems in hopes to not worry others, but it doesn't work. He expects us to believe he's okay and leave him be, but I won't let him think that.

His baseball cap sits proudly on top of my head, and I find myself adjusting it while I chew on my lip, deep in thought.

Chan should realise that he's a person worth worrying over. That he deserves to be cared for. It upsets me to realise that he doesn't believe that sometimes.

"You look scary. What's with the face?"

I jump, startled at the sudden voice, my heart rate spiking. I whirl around only to find Ryuu standing there with an arched brow, his expression curious.

"Nothing," I tell him hurriedly, easing the crease between my eyebrows and offering a small smile.

Maybe I was thinking too hard.

Ryuu doesn't look convinced, but he nods anyway.

We continue down the street side by side under the hot summer sun. It's June now, the smell of flowers and the sight of sakura trees of spring replaced with the sound of chirping cicadas as the hot weather comes rolling in with the change of the season. It's busy out today, people wanting to come out and enjoy the sun, and I really do try my best not to stare at the park filled with children and families alike as we make our way past.

Ryuu had offered to walk me home from work today, which, by the way, very unnecessary, but he had only shrugged and told me he had nothing better to do, so I gave in and allowed him to come to pick me up.

I can never figure out what Ryuu is thinking after all. I've known him for nearly ten years and yet he still looks as impassive as ever. He's good at hiding his emotions, preferring to keep to himself, but I'm one of the few people who's ever seen his mask slip.

I've known Ryuu ever since I've moved here to Japan after my family had left my birth country. I've grown up here and Ryuu's grown up right alongside me. I've seen his best and worst moments just as he's seen mine and I've always wondered where I'd be without him.