COMFORT PLACE | bang chan.

[ 16 ] walking on my way, all alone

I'm panicking.

He did it again.

He blocked me again.

He blocked me.

Again.

I instantly sit up in bed, my eyes already welling up in tears as my voice begins to tremble. "No." My hands are shaking as I frantically swipe out of Chan's contact and tap on the group chat.

The last message was sent by Seungmin earlier today, who had taken a professional photo of Hyunjin and had sent it to the chat.

If it weren't for the message underneath the photo, I would be smiling.
  

Chan removed you.
You can't send messages to this group because you're no longer a participant. 


Instead, I suddenly can't breathe.

"Chan—?"

My voice breaks. I quickly navigate through my phone to find out what is happening, my throat closing up, my breathing laboured, feeling horribly desperate to find out why he had suddenly cut me off. Because he can't have cut me off. Not Chan.

Anyone but Chan. Please.

I hurriedly try and reach each of the boys' contacts, doing my best by calling, texting, spamming them. But I gain nothing in return. Even Mayu's contact is gone.

They have all blocked me.

My heart thumps hard against my ribcage, my chest feeling extremely tight. "Chan," I whimper, aching.

I try and level my breathing by shutting my eyes and taking a deep breath.

It's okay. There's probably a reason behind this.

I should try and contact Chan first.

There are many ways to do that.

It's with a shaky exhale when I check the Stray Kids official Instagram.


User not found.


My stomach churns.

Okay...

My heart is quick and painful against my chest as I check their Twitter.


@Stray_Kids
You are blocked from following @Stray_Kids and viewing @Stray_Kids's Tweets.


My phone sounds a loud bang as it lands onto the wooden floor.

No.

I make a noise, and it's a desperate thing.

The tears are already slipping from my eyes and down my cheeks, my eyes wide as I stare at the wall in front of me, my mind suddenly going blank. I taste salt on my tongue. Thick fog clouds my vision.

It's happening all over again.

Chan has cut me off again.

And it's that thought and revelation that makes me realise that I've never felt so alone all at once, the feeling of pain hitting me like a train at full speed, striking my heart, hard and fast and shattering.

I've lost all complete contact with my friends.

I break down, sobbing.

-

I refuse to leave my room for the next few days.

My family is beginning to worry over me, I can tell, it's obvious with the way they keep knocking on my door, but I can't bring myself to really care. Instead, I cry into my pillow every night, blatantly ignore the speech that I have to complete, and ignore all the texts and phone calls from people who are irrelevant to me. I choose to stare at my phone for hours as my past time, hoping, begging, praying that the boys will message me.