Broken

The Bean (Clark)

Today had been a shit show so far at work. I had spilled coffee on a record-breaking three people today, and my manager told me I was on dangerously thin ice. Tell me something I don't know. I couldn't focus on anything. All I could think about was the feeling of his body against mine.  I was trying so hard to just forget about it, but I was struggling greatly. I was probably being dramatic about the whole encounter anyway. I bet he just bumped into me on accident, and my horny ass turned it into something else. I'd be better off if I just forgot about it and moved on. The chances of ever seeing him again were slim to none. Who am I kidding, I never even saw his face. Unless he came up behind me and dry humped me from behind, he could walk right by me and I'd have no idea it was him. I just need to forget it happened and move on. Focus on something else Clark.

I took a deep breath and started clearing mugs off of the wooden tables. A few people lingered from the afternoon rush, chatting, and laughing around a coffee table. 

"do any of you need anything before I take my break?" I asked the group. They all shook their heads no, so I retreated to the back kitchen. I picked up my phone. One missed text from Grams, and three from my best friend Sarah. I opened the messages from Sarah first.

GURL ARE YOU READY? YOU. ME. TONIGHT. WE ARE GOING OUT!! I HAVE A SURPRISE.

Don't text back if you want to go.

YAYY!!  ILL COME GET READY WITH YOU AND WE'LL LEAVE  @ 8.

I rolled my eyes. She was crazy, but absolutely right. I needed a night out. I quickly texted back

Can't wait :)

Smiling, I swiped over to Gram's text. 

Hospital called. Could't make the payment this month. I wouldn't normally ask for help, but your brother needs it. 

My face fell. Shit. I had a good amount saved in my bank account, but still not enough to pay hospital bills.

How much? 

I took a deep breath as the typing bubbles popped up.

Just a few hundred this month.

I winced. I had a few hundred, but it would pretty much dry up my bank account. Fuck this. Why can't I just get a god damn break. My fingers hovered over the key board.

Sure, I'll cover it.

I hurled my phone back into my bag, and covered my face with my hands. I squeezed my eyes shut. I can't do this. I just- I can't. 

"FUUUUCK" I screamed, hitting my fist against the counter. My throat felt like it was closing, and my breathing had turned into short rasps. Tears were forming in the corners of my eyes as I slid down the cabinet to the tile floor.

"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" I whispered to myself through sobs. This is my fault. This is all my fault. I squeezed my hands into fists taking deep breathes. Don't let it control you. Fight it. Come on Clark. My breathing slowed, and I wiped my eyes. I looked into the small mirror hanging on the wall. All that was left from my meltdown was puffy eyes and slightly bruised knuckles from hitting the counter. 

BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ

I jumped at the sound of my phone vibrating. Sarah's name flashed across the screen. I hit accept and brought the phone to my ear.

CLARKEYYY. I'm at your house with your grams already. Where are you? 

Oh my god are you drunk already? I asked. There was silence and then giggles on the other end.

I sighed. I'm still at the cafe. I just have to close up the shop. I'll be back in 20 and we can get ready. 

OKAY SEE YOU THEN. I CAN'T WAIT CLARKEY. She shouted back into the phone. I hit end and took a deep breath. I realllly really needed tonight.

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