Broken

Even if I Begged? (Clark)

I toweled off my hair, looking in the steamy mirror at my naked reflection. Harry was really going to fuck me up. I had known him for less than twelve hours and I couldn't help but get butterflies every time I looked at him. I sighed, pulling on his boxers and t-shirt. I heard muffled voices from the other side of the door. Harry must have been on the phone. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but  he was talking so loud, it was hard not to listen.

"Don't worry, I won't miss it. I'll see you in a few days" He told them. Whatever the person on the other line said was not kind because he grunted and responded fiercely.

"Well what do you want me to do?"

He laughed harshly 

"Seriously? This isn't going to work then. I can't keep doing this with you." a muffled voice on the phone line yelled back.

"We'll talk this out when I get back, " He said through a clenched jaw. I heard him hang up the phone, and let out a deep sigh. 

Shit. How could I be so stupid to think he wouldn't have a girlfriend. That was definitely his girlfriend. They were clearly having problems, but he was still in a fucking relationship. Did I imagine his flirting and the way he was looking at me? I cursed myself for thinking I would ever have a shot with him. I sighed looking at myself in the mirror.

I ran my fingers through my wet hair one more time, and walked back into the bedroom.

I didn't get more than two steps into the room because my feet stopped working. Scratch that my entire body shut down for a total of five seconds.  As if things couldn't get any worse, directly in front of me, Harry was stretched out across the bed in only his boxers. He lay casually, scrolling through his phone. His boxers rested below his hips, revealing a deep V line. Breath Clark Breath. I reminded myself. My eyes moved across his toned stomach and up to his broad chest that was covered in dark tattoos. His perfect golden skin contrasted with the light figure of a butterfly just above his abs. He peered at me above his phone, a smug smile on his face. He knew the exact affect he was having on me, and I hated it.

"So um, are you just going to sleep in that." I gulped

"Yeah." He said looking me dead in the eye. Shit  I thought. I honestly didn't know how I would sleep next to him like that. The intense urge I had to run my hand against his skin was scaring me. 

"are you going to get in?" He asked lifting up the covers. I hesitated, but walked around to the other side of the bed, and climbed under. 

"Are you going to be okay sleeping next to me? Or do you need me to relieve something for you?" He asked with a smug smile. He was arrogant as fuck. How could he say that when he was on the phone with his girlfriend two minutes before. 

"Please. I wouldn't fuck you even if you begged me too." I retorted. That could not be any farther from the truth. 

He cocked an eyebrow. 

"Is that so?" 

I nodded, keeping my eyes on his. 

"okay." he responded matter of factly.

"Okay?" I asked, confused.

He nodded, and placed  his phone on the bedside table. His long arm reached over and flipped the light switch off, signaling the end of the conversation. I sighed lightly. What the fuck  was that?  The darkness consumed me at first, but I soon adjusted. I could hear his even breathing fill the silence of the room. He shifted around, before rolling over so he was on his side facing me. We stared at each other in silence. 

 My heart pounded in my chest. I swear he could probably hear it. All I could do was stare back. He bit his lip and slowly rolled so he was on top of me. His legs straddled my waist, and I could feel myself getting wet at the feeling of him between my legs. His necklace hung low, brushing my chest. He traced my lips slowly with his baby finger, and then dragged it down to lift my chin. His piercing green eyes stared into mine as he leaned down bringing his lips centimeters away from mine. My breath quickened, and I licked my lips. I could feel his breath tickle my mouth. He smiled mischievously, but paused. I looked at him with wide eyes, and he gave me the smallest wink before rolling back to his side of the bed. 

I lay there in shock, splayed against the bed. 

"What the fuck?" I asked breathless. 

He turned his head to face mine again. "You said you wouldn't fuck me even if I begged you too." He replied, raising an eyebrow. 

"I'm pretty sure I just proved my point that you would in fact fuck me." He continued, an entertained look on his face. I laid there staring at him. Are you kidding me. 

"I'm pretty sure I didn't fuck you" I spit out. 

"you would have." he smirked. I stared at him narrowing my eyes. He was absolutely unbelievable.

"whatever" I huffed, pulling the covers up over my neck. I dramatically rolled over so my back was to him and made a point to show him that the conversation was over. 

Harry must have taken the hint because silence blanketed the room.

I lay awake for the next couple of hours, my mind turning. Harry's steady breathing next to me told me he was fast asleep. I smiled a little bit at the way he slept on his stomach. It was cute. 

I couldn't stop replaying the events of the night in my head over and over again. I wasn't crazy, he had been flirting. The way he touched me, and his little whispers of desire were real. I saw the look in his eyes when he climbed on top of me in bed. He wanted me, and I wanted to stay with him. To lay next to him and feel his warm arms around me. For him to drag his hands between my breast,  down my stomach, underneath the band of my underwear, and reach inside of me. I wanted his sweet lips to caress my-

Woah Clark. Calm down.

I needed to chill out. Remember earlier. I heard his phone conversation. He was clearly involved with someone else, and I couldn't let myself fall for someone if it would just end in disappointment. My head dropped. The more I thought about it the more I realized just how absolutely idiotic I was being. Here was an international pop-star who would probably be leaving New York in a week at the most. He had dated supermodels and A-list celebrities, and here I was thinking he was hitting on me. So naive. 

He had the chance to fuck me. And he didn't. He obviously doesn't see me as anything but a hopeless and shattered girl. I didn't need any more heartbreak in my life. I carefully pulled back the covers and walked to Harry's side of the bed. I grabbed his phone from the table. The blue light glowed in the darkness. 3:00 AM. I quietly tiptoed to the bathroom and dialed Sarah's number. Please pick up, please, please. 

The phone rang once, twice-

"Hello?"  Sarah whispered.

"Sarah" I whispered back in relief.

"It's Clark. Please don't ask questions, just come pick me up at the gran hotel" There was a pause on the other end

"I'm on my way" she responded before hanging up the phone. I sighed, leaning up against the door to the bathroom. I put my face in my hands. How did I let this happen?

I slowly walked back into the room, putting Harry's phone next to him. I paused for a moment, he looked so peaceful. I reached my thumb and pressed it to his warm skin. I held it there for a moment, trying to etch the feeling into my mind. There was no memory that would do him justice.

I grabbed a blanket off the floor and wrapped myself in it to stay warm. I considered writing a note, but I couldn't quite think of what to say. 

I gave his stretched out body one last look.

"goodbye" I breathed before pulling the door open and slipping out into the hallway.