In my heart // Hwang Hyunjin

-3-

The next few days of practice passed and although Yohan really did try his best to ignore Hyunjin it got harder and harder since something was off with the boy, he knew it well, he still remembered it, the time Hyunjin got sick, he completely ignored it and still insisted on hanging out with Yohan that day, in the end, Yohan took care of the boy instead of them hanging out since Hyunjing had a bad fever.

It took everything he had to stop himself from just going over to the boy and scolding him, no matter how much he worried, he was scared of getting close to Hyunjin, well he was scared of getting close to anyone,

Halfway through practice Yohan and Jisung went to buy some food for the team, at this point Jisung couldn't take it anymore, it had been days since Yohan had been out of it and he just kept worrying more and more.

"Yo, you don't have to speak about it but are you sure you are okay?" Jisung asked the boy in a tender tone.

"Yea- no not really... I'm not okay, it feels like I'm fighting an internal battle every time I see Hyunjin" Yohan finally admitted, although he hated being open about his feelings especially about his past he didn't like it but he also knew that Jisung was worried about him and the more he ignored the boy's worry he was sure the boy would start to feel that he really didn't want to be his friend when he really did want to.

"Do you two know one another before he joined the team?" Jisung asked and Yohan nodded.

"Yeah, we went to the same middle school"

"Did he bully you or something? Should I go fight him?" Jisung asked seriously.

"It isn't like that... we had this project where we had to meet up for the whole term, and every second week we had to turn in an essay each along with photo evidence that we hung out, and at the end of the term we had to talk about what we learned about one another" Yohan started off slowly.

"I got teamed up with Hyunjin, back then Hyunjin was really small and innocent, it was as if you wanted to keep him in your pocket, he didn't understand the cruelness of the world, you could tell he was raised with a lot of love and care, he was protected from all the bad things in the world... so when he found out that I was gay, he was amazed, he thought it was nice that love had no bounds and that it wasn't restricted to only the opposite gender, but he was so amazed by it that when he gave his report about me he outed me to the whole class, he didn't know there were people who hated people like me, he didn't know... that my parents hated people like me" Yohan's voice almost disappeared when he spoke those last words.

"Yohan," Jisung said, his voice cracking a little, and he immediately hugged the boy tightly.

"After that, I transferred to a different school and moved in with my uncle, who became my father, but I couldn't manage in a school because of the paranoia that I had from the accident and I eventually had to move to be homeschooled, and then I came to university fully set on just getting through this and making no friends but then you showed him with your squirrel cheeks and somehow you broke down my walls, and now Hyunjin showed up again and I don't know what to do, or how to react because when I see him those memories reply in my head"

"It's hard, right? Take it easy Yo, no one is pushing you to befriend him again or to interact with him, I'm sure your dad understands it right?" Jisung tried comforting the boy.

"Hmm but he wants to make it up Sungie, he feels guilty and now he is sick and he looks so bad right now that I just want to take him home and take care of him, I hate seeing him like that, it's like watching a sick puppy suffering on its own"

"Hmm he hasn't been looking too good these past few days, I think it's because of the dance department, my friend there told me that they have auditions coming up for a busking project so everyone is giving it their all, I think between classes, swim practice and then his own private practice he probably doesn't get any proper rest," Jisung told the boy, trying to reassure him that Hyunjin would be okay if he just got some sleep.

"Hmm, well now you know my life story~ it stays between us okay?" Yohan asked Jisung and the boy nodded with a big smile.

He was happy that Yohan opened up to him, he felt like it was the first time Yohan really talked about his feelings, he really hoped they would be able to get through it because to him it seemed that Hyunjin meant a lot to Yohan more than the boy probably realized.

They went and got food and went back to the pool, when they got there Yohan realized that Hyunjin wasn't there, he looked around thinking he might've just missed the boy.

After giving everyone their food he walked over to his dad.

"Dad, where's Hyunjin?"

"He almost fainted earlier so Chan escorted him to the dorms while you two were away," his dad told him.

"Oh, does he have a roommate at least?"

"No, according to Chan, Hyunjin requested a single room"

"Oh..." he said softly, his dad smiled a little.

"You're worried about him"

"N-no I'm not," Yohan said and spun around on his heels and walked away to go eat with Jisung, his dad smiled softly and waved Chan over.

"Chan-ah can you give Yohan, Hyunjin's address?" he asked with a smile, Chan didn't even hesitate to write it down and happily walked over to the boy and handed the paper to him.

"This is Hyunjin's address and room number, he lives in the dorms across the street, and his room number is 12," Chan told him, and before Yohan could even say anything Chan disappeared to go eat.

He stared at the paper for a little while and then looked at the container containing Hyunjin's food, and he decided he needed to go to see Hyunjin.