Virtually mirrored

The wastes

Nathan walked across the dreary wastes. Grey horizon, grey ground, grey sky. Everything in his sight gray and lifeless. One foot ahead of the other, over and over. Occasionally there would be broken up patches of concrete, grey as everything else. Those were growing fewer over the years. It was the only way, to keep moving. Alone for years now, Nathan knew how to survive. Skills passed down by parents along with his own adaptability served him day after day. Very little out here but the grey.

An hour passed, two, then three as he walked. Something flashed across Nathan's vision. A delicate color, a patch of yellow. What a rare sight and easily missed. Running would serve no purpose. Walked in the direction of the yellow. Nobody else out here anyway. Well that wasn't quite true, but for the moment no reason to waste energy and run.

It was a patch of yellow grass around a dead tree stump. A small one, yet telling. One of the plants was a tuber. Inedible by the smell after Nathan dug it up. Yet it would do for a meal. Backpack off, he searched inside. Metal wires, some rope and a small metal rod would do. Snare trap set, Nathan stood and searched the horizon. Nowhere to take shelter. Bare ground would have to do.

Backpack on, walked a kilometer back in the direction he came from. No reason to spread his scent any further. Ten minutes later his sleeping bag was out, though it barely qualified as one.  Patched, mismatched with pieces of quilts, blankets and survival covering. It would do, it always did. A few hours should do. Nathan got into the sleeping bag and rested his head on the backpack. Always walking had the benefit of knocking you out soon as head found level ground.

Fortunately Nathan was a light sleeper. Open eyes told him much. By the change of light he slept three or four hours. Precise time was irrelevant in the wastes. Should be enough. The sun was rarely seen, too much poison in the sky. So his parents said. Yet, there was still a lot of light and warmth. It would be dark in a few more hours. Needed to move regardless of results. 

Sleeping bag stowed, he walked to the yellow patch again. Success! Maybe not a great one. A hedge hog was caught in the trap. It would do though. Father taught him how, but not here. Nathan grabbed the animal and twisted its neck. A mercy in this world. Stowing it in the backpack he took out a map. Twenty kilometers and there should be cover. On his feet then.

As darkness crept over the horizon Nathan reached his destination. A large rock outcropping with a long defunct and hollowed out cistern leaning against it. It was a regular stop on this route. Out of the way and unknown to others, a safe heaven for the night. Now for the chores.

Nathan took out a small hand shovel, cracked in too many places. Held it tight as he dug. After twenty minutes he finally hit clay. Thirst was always an enemy out here. He studied the map again as he eyed the old canteen from his backpack. There would be no fresh water sources until late tomorrow. Drink only after meal and not sooner. Next out was the cleaning knife. Blade needed sharpening, used a nearby rock for a few minutes. The animal itself was easy, peeling away the barbs and skin. Did it so many times, was just muscle memory by now. Hedgehog cooked in clay, not quite a delicacy.

Cooking fuel was always a problem. In some places it was easy to find with much debris, but out here... A short sojourn around the rock saved his meager gas reserves. Just enough wood and debris for a decent fire. Animal packed in clay he started the fire. Lighters were not an issue ever since the stash found last year. Thousands upon thousands never touched. He sat cross legged in front of the cooking meal. Dozed off a few times, awoken again by the smell of burning wood and debris. It was dangerous to sleep with a fire out. Vulnerable, even out here.

Hands finally felt warm against the fire, but only a brief respite. Nathan judged when the time was right and put out the fire. No part of the meal would be wasted. Sucked the juices as one part of the clay shell was removed. The meat was bitter, too many bones to gnaw around. Like his own emaciated form, everything out here was hungry and barely surviving. Licked the too thin fingers of his hand when done. Nothing wasted. The two sips of water allowed felt good, yet made him cough. With the fire out and no signs of anyone approaching, Nathan finally went to sleep. Darkness had already fallen and the temperature was dropping. Not that he would need a full night. Time was used, but worth the free meal. Nothing else would be expended today.

He woke long before dawn with no light in the sky. That was ok. The dead fire stopped giving away heat long ago. Nathan packed up and removed all traces of his presence. Cold hands and stiff back forced him to stretch. The dark grey horizon stood ahead as he walked. Always the grey.

Coughed again after another two sips of water. Cleared his throat. Couldn't even remember the sound of his own voice. Not used in years except for the occasional sobbing when things got hard and desperate. No sounds, no wasted energy as parents taught him. They were gone how many years now? At least seven for mother and nine for father. It was getting harder to keep track. Time was irrelevant here, only survival. Father died of heart failure, with mother sobbing at his side. No medicine for years and a heart condition ended all hope there. They knew it would come, they all knew. Father made sure to prepare them.

Mother died two years later. Fallen into a deep crevice and knee shattered. It took nine hours to drag her out of there, with whatever stretcher could be cobbled together. She screamed for him to stop and leave. Nathan couldn't, simply couldn't. She died two days later at their camp. Shock, blood loss and pain from an open wound that would not heal. He set the knee and stitched it together when she passed out from the pain. But constant malnourishment had a cost. Didn't care if she had a limp or trouble walking, he could do the walking. She died cursing the energy and time he wasted. Time was irrelevant, the energy lost still ate at him. All for nothing. Tears for that were long cried out, more waste.