draco malfoy imagines.

❛diary.❜

warnings: bullying, swearing, mentions of abuse and being abandoned, mentions of nightmares, insomnia, suicide and self harm.

the night we met, lord huron.

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no one's pov:

"hey, give it back!"

her voice echoed through the corridors, piercing draco's ears. he looked at her with fondness, admiration even. always a seemingly true smile on her face, sometimes faltering when an insult gets thrown her way. he didn't think she ever deserved it. no, she wasn't a muggleborn; or a half blood for that matter. her parents left her on the doorstep of an orphanage, draco knew that. however she didn't. she thought her parents were dead, that they wanted her. yes, they had died, though they never wanted her. killed by aurors. but they didn't give her up for safety, they wanted a boy. a son as an heir.

however, today as she ran through the corridor, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were set in a panic. everybody seemed to follow the commotion of two people running down the halls. everybody was heading to dinner anyway, but thought to rush thanks to these two people.

"i don't think so, y/n!"

pansy parkinson's taunt was the second echo that struck draco. the snobbish, rich, pureblooded girl who related to every stereotype of a slytherin. much like himself, he supposed. reaching the great hall, he slipped through the crowd of people that were based around the snake's table and hoped to pay no attention to himself. "dracy!" pansy screeched. he huffed in annoyance and looked up to her, noticing she was standing on the table. "you gotta listen to this, alright listen up everyone!" she raised her voice in the end. draco also noticed one other thing, two slytherins he couldn't be bothered to recognise held y/n's arms on either side of her. she was struggling, but they were stronger. draco looked down at his feet.

"right okay, blah blah bla- oo, okay," she babbled on, "i stare at myself in the mirror everyday, hoping- no, wanting someone to look at me differently. because now, i look at myself the same as everyone else. hatred. not really surprised why, being singled out in an orphanage did that. or coming to hogwarts and just being known as 'the girl whose parents abandoned her'. it isn't moral." y/n struggled even harder and one of the boys beside her mocked the writing, "it isn't moral." everyone burst out laughing and y/n was about to speak out when they clamped their hand over her mouth.

draco's jaw was tightly closed at the action - she didn't deserve to be touched like that. "i'm tired. i wish i could sleep at night; i'm plagued with nightmares. they claw away at my insides bit by bit, making me wish for something i never want to wish for. i can't listen in lessons. i can't even listen to myself anymore..." pansy trailed off, soon replaced by a string of cackles, "i want to hurt myself." draco's heart broke at the words. y/n stopped struggling immediately and she stared at the floor, hoping to rid herself of her own words. "i have hurt myself."

draco's jaw dropped to the floor, she'd hurt herself? he felt stupid for not noticing, and that he was only finding out through one of pansy's ways to hurt y/n - through a stupid diary. and it worked perfectly in pansy's eyes, actually. "sometimes, i blow myself drunk with a firewhiskey bottle the kitchen elves unknowingly give me, thinking it's for other people. i stumble, blindly, up some stairs. no idea where i am. still drinking. i find a railing, lean up against it, and stare down. should i jump? and i laugh at the question, because it'd be my parents wish, pansy's wish, everybody's stupid wish! draco wouldn't even care, god draco. his blonde, soft hair and his big hands that hold you comfortingly when he wants. and god, he can be protective. and i love it! but... he doesn't love me right?" pansy paused, eyes narrowed reading the rest silently, whilst draco wanted to shout in y/n's face that he did indeed love her too.