End Games

Chapter 16:Breakdown

Watari stood before L with a disapproving look on his face. It wasn't L's intention for Watari to find him like that with Weddy, but alas, there he was. The two men stood in tense silence until Watari spoke.
"Just what do you think you're doing?" Asked Watari with a grave expression. L continued to look down at the floor, thoughtful. "Misa is a beautiful woman who adores you. Not only that but she's carrying your child!" Insisted the old man. He was trying to be patient with L, but this was unforgivable. This time he would not stand by idly as he watched L destroy every bit of happiness that he'd managed to find.
"Wammy you don't understand." Said L.
"Please, elaborate. Help me understand." Responded Watari, unmoved.
"Misa wants to force me into being a father to that child. She needs to understand that she can't guilt trip me into doing this because I am not doing it."
"Why is being a father so bad?" Asked the old man.
"It's bad because it's absurd...just utterly ridiculous. I'm in the midst of my most dangerous case yet and she's planning to a baby? Where's the logic in that?"
"It's not absurd. You're just afraid of being a father and that's normal, it's okay to feel that way, but what is not alright is what you just did to that poor woman." Said Watari.
"The fact remains that I can't incorporate a child into my life because one, it's not practical, two, I don't want it and even if I did, I don't know anything about providing a normal childhood to a baby-"
"That's where Misa can help you. She's there for you and you can do it together." He insisted.
"... I'm sorry. I can't."
"No, you won't. There's a difference." Retorted the old man. "You have this notion that having a family means you have to give up who you are and what you do. It was the same way with Ms. Misora, and look what you did there. You can make it work, especially with Misa by your side." Watari reasoned.
"She's the Second Kira. I know it." Said L.
"And? I believe I just saw you philandering with a criminal of equal caliber. You and I both know that Weddy is no saint."
"That's different and you know it."
"Listen to yourself! Is it really that difficult for you to just be happy? Must you sabotage every good relationship you have?" Demanded Watari, getting emotional. L did not respond. He merely turned around and sat back in his chair as usual. He didn't want to talk anymore, but Watari wasn' t done yet.
"I'm going to tell you something very important my boy, so listen well. You see me today and what I am, and all I've accomplished. All of it...and I mean all of it, I would gladly trade for an opportunity to go back to my youth and cease the opportunity that you now carelessly hold. I had that chance once, and like you, I threw it because I thought other things were more important. I've done great things, yes, but at the end of the day, I'm alone and will be until the day I die. Think about that." He said before walking toward the elevator lobby.
L sat in silence, his eyes wide. His mentor and adoptive father had never confided in him that way. "Where are you going?" He asked the old man.
"Where do you think? To clean up your mess and fix your mistake!" He said pointedly.
Watari went upstairs to check on Misa. He wanted to ensure that she was ok as the doctors specifically said that she should avoid stressing herself for her and her baby's sake. He knocked but no one answered. He frowned, worried. The old man walked into the apartment and looked around for the blonde. He was surprised to hear that everything was quiet. He continued to search the apartment until he reached the bathroom and saw Misa crumpled on the floor, unconscious. He was startled upon seeing her in such state, but immediately jumped into action. He knelt beside Misa and felt for breathing and a pulse. She was alive but he would need to get her to a doctor immediately. He quickly went to leave the apartment and get L, but that was unnecessary because as soon as Watari opened the door, the detective was already walking by him, rushing to the bathroom.
"L!"
"I saw she was unconscious on the cameras. I already called her doctor" Said an alarmed L as he knelt down next to Misa. Frowning, he caressed her face and called her name, attempting to get her to wake up. When she didn't, L took her into his arms, picked her up off the floor and carried her out of the apartment. Watari drove them to the hospital as fast as he could. Thanks to L, they were all ready for Misa when they arrived.
...
Two hours later, Misa opened her eyes to find herself once again in a plain white hospital room with dim lighting. She slowly turned her face and felt her heart clench as she was face to face with the root of her distress. L was crouching on the seat next to her bed, his dark eyes studying her closely. She could have sworn she saw a look of pure guilt on his face. His downtrodden expression would have broken her heart, had he not already broken it himself earlier that day. She was about to say something but then the door opened and in walked the female doctor that had tended to her before.
"Hi My name is Dr. Meixner, but you can call me Rita. I figured since I'm officially your doctor, I should introduce myself." She said smiling brightly.
"Hi. Thank you for your help" Said Misa in a raspy, tired voice. "Is my baby ok?" The doctor hesitated for a moment, looking over the medical chart, frowning. L looked unperturbed while Misa was in suspense, her breath caught in her throat as she waited for the doctor's reply. She placed a hand on her stomach, and glared at L, praying that she hadn't lost her baby because of his actions.
"Yeah...your baby's fine" Answered the doctor. Misa sighed, relieved. "However, like I said before, these emotional outbursts have to stop. You've been lucky so far." Said Rita seriously.
"Right...lucky..." She said feebly, downtrodden. The doctor noticed that Misa was getting a little upset and figured that the poor mother-to-be could use some support.
"Are you the father?" Asked Rita, turning to L. He hesitated for a moment but then nodded his head and looked at Misa.
"Make sure she gets plenty of rest, eats well, and is in a peaceful environment" She told him pointedly. "Congratulations on your baby and you're free to go" Said the doctor, smiling, as she walked out of the room. Misa snorted as she rolled her eyes sarcastically.
"Congratulations...yeah. Right..." She muttered.
"Misa..." Said L, reaching for her hand. Misa retracted it.
"If you wanted to kill our child with your little spectacle well you've failed miserably." She told him as she got up from the bed, feeling the pain from her sprained ankle. L offered her assistance in standing properly and she accepted his help briefly.
"My intention was not to cause you or the child harm." He told her. "I merely wanted to dissuade you from pursuing this-"
"Whatever, L. I have a few things to say to you about your little show, earlier, but not here" She told him. "Now get out. I need to change out of this robe."
"And you'll manage it OK alone?"
"Just get out, L. I'll be fine!"
L did as she asked and waited for her outside with Watari. She came out of the room and they all went home. In the car Misa sat on the opposite side of the seat, looking out the window, her hand placed on her stomach. L eyed her longingly but respected that she wanted her space. When they arrived inside the main investigation room, Watari excused himself, leaving the two to talk. As he left, he gave L a pointed look that said "Here's your chance to fix things."
"OK...first off, what the fuck was that?" Asked Misa, looking at L straight in the eyes. L was not used to this side of her. He'd never seen Misa this angry.
"You want to discuss the incident now? You were just discharged from the hospital." He said.
"Well too bad! We're talking about it now!" She said stepping closer.
"Misa" He sighed with slumped shoulders. "What more is there to say? I think it's quite self-explanatory" He shrugged, diverting his gaze from her.
"So what the hell was today about? What you said on the Ferris Wheel? Was that just bullshit?!" She asked, trying to restrain her tears. "Look at me! Please, if you're going to lie to me, then at least do it to my face!"
L slowly brought his gaze to meet hers.
"Well?! I'm not here so you can give me the silent treatment. Answer the question" She said pushing him. He let her push him. She did it again, with more force, getting teary-eyed. "Answer the question, you cheater!" She said, slapping him. L allowed it without protest, knowing it was merited. After all, he did make out with another woman right in front of her.
"I'm sorry Misa...I made a mistake. I mistook my feelings and I realized..."
"Realized what?..." She whispered, bracing herself for the worst.
"I realized that...you're just not my type." Said L looking at her dead in the eyes. "I misread my emotions and mistook it for feelings of love but, you and I are very different and after dating you, I've concluded that you're not the type of woman I want to spend the rest of my life with." He said quietly.
Misa looked at him in disbelief, slowly shaking her head. She buried her face in her hands and wiped away the angry tears that were blurring her vision. She looked at the man she loved staring at her with that blank, guarded expression of his.
"I'm not your type...I'm not your type..." She repeated as if trying to convince herself of what she was hearing. "Are you fucking with me?!" She asked, her voice breaking in a mixture of outrage and hurt.
"I'm sorry if I mislead you." He said simply without batting an eyelash. Misa was speechless for a moment.
"I...I don't even know how I'm supposed to take that!" She cried angrily.
He said nothing, he just stood there looking at her with those dark, desolate eyes. She took a deep breath and gathered enough strength for a few last words.
"That's fine." She said blinking back her sorrow. "I'm glad...I'm glad that I'm not your type because you make Light look good! I never should have traded him for you!" She said before turning around and trudging up the stairs, sprained ankle and all. Angry tears stained her cheeks, and she threw the door behind her as she walked into her apartment.
'I'm not his type?! What kind of fucking excuse is that?!' She asked herself as she paced back and forth in her living room. She was done with him. She didn't want him looking at her crying through the cameras, she just wanted to be left alone. By now she knew where most of the cameras were hidden in her apartment and so she went around throwing whatever she could find at each camera until they broke off from their spots. One by one, L watched the live videos from Misa's apartment go black.
'Fuck you L, I'm not gonna let you have front seats to my misery!' She thought as she swatted each camera in her apartment off the walls, with the exception of the one in her kitchen, which she did not find. Afterward, she went to her bedroom, shut the door, turned off all the lights, and burrowed herself in between the sheets to cry in darkness and solitude.
-Days later-
Things were tense at Headquarters and to make matters worse, Light had returned. At first everyone was weary, but then Light cleared the air, saying that to him, catching Kira was the most important thing and that personal disputes should not come in between them and that goal. Light's words relieved the rest of the task force. However, L knew it all to be a load of lies. He simply ignored the brunette sitting beside him, as his mind was too preoccupied with other matters to worry about Light.
Misa had not been seen in days, and her absence was blatant. The other KIT members asked about her constantly but each time they asked, L remained silent. Matsuda and the others were worried about her since the cameras in her apartment were all out. Not withstanding L's silence anymore, Matsuda took it upon himself to find out what had happened. He went up to visit Misa. It took a while for her to open the door to him but he was glad that she did. She looked like she'd been through hell and back and could use a friend at the moment.
"Aw, thank you for worrying, Matsu. You're the best" She told him with a sad smile as she sat on the couch with her legs drawn up to her chest.
"Don't mention it. We're all really worried about you Misa. Ryuzaki looks like hell too, and he's been in a sour mood ever since you stopped going to the investigation room."
"Has he?" She asked, ignoring the small glimmer of hope that he might care for her. Matsuda nodded. "Well good! He's a jerk." She added.
Matsuda gave her a puzzled look and she figured that it was only fair to tell him what happened. She went over all the major details of her fight with L, the incident with Weddy, the hospital visit, and their breakup. By the end, Matsuda was speechless.
"He really said that you're not his type?! Man that's the lamest excuse I've ever heard! Just look at you, any man would be happy to have you. And to top it off you're funny, sweet, and brave. And smart too. Without you, we wouldn't have been able to catch Higuchi so quickly" He said, bringing a smile to her face. She was so glad she could count on Matsuda.
"Have you been eating at all? You look a little thinner than usual..." He asked her, a worried look on his face.
"I tried to eat to stay healthy for my baby but I can't keep most of what I eat down these days. Between morning sickness and then all...this" She said motioning to nothing in particular. "...I'm just not very hungry..." She finished, downcast. "Although...want to know something? I've really really really been craving chocolates and strawberries" She confided. Matsuda got an idea just then.
"That's great! How about I get a bunch of strawberries and chocolates for you now? It's lunchtime anyway" He said, and Misa's face lit up at his proposal.
"Thanks Matsu! That's like the best thing I've heard all week" She piped.
...
Back in the main investigation room, Light inwardly grinned as he looked at L's sullen appearance.
"Trouble on the love front, Ryuzaki?" He asked, rubbing it in. L said nothing but kept working as he inwardly cursed the brunette. "You don't have to be shy about it, Ryuzaki. You know that I'm an expert on Misa, having dated her before you. If you ever need advice, I'm right here" He said, grinning.
"Thank you." L said curtly.
'Oh L...this is just the beginning of your suffering. I'm going to take everything from you...everything.' Thought Light, delighted, looking at L.
'He's staring at me with that creepy glare again...what is he thinking?...' Thought L, glancing at Light. He hated it when Light just stared at him like that, it made him feel like he should be actively watching his back.
Matsuda silently walked into the main investigation room with a bag full of chocolates and strawberries. Upon seeing that not much had changed since he left, he sneaked back out to take the elevator up to Misa's room. Of course, L noticed Matsuda's movements, but he did not object. He didn't want Misa to be alone right now.
"Thank you so much Matsu! What would I do without you?" Said Misa, sounding more like her usual self. She snatched the bag from him, grabbed a few bars of chocolate and a pack of strawberries and plopped herself on the couch, eating fervidly.
"No problem!" He said chuckling. He'd never seen Misa pig out this way before. "Hey Misa, from the way you're devouring that chocolate, I'm starting to think that your kid is gonna be just like L." He said chuckling. Misa stopped and paled at the thought. It would be her crappy luck if her baby turned out to be another L. She pictured a mini raven-haired detective constantly crying and demanding candy while babbling on about justice. She grimaced in horror, and prayed that Matsuda was wrong.
"Have you thought about what you're gonna name him or her?" Asked Matsuda. Misa smiled and thought for a moment.
"Um...well I was thinking that if it's a boy I'll name him Mihael like my grandfather. If it's a girl, well, I haven't thought of what I would name her."
...
The rest of the week went by uneventfully. Matsuda visited Misa every day, task force didn't uncover any new leads, L was still miserable, and Light was as smug as ever, soaking it all in. Today was going to be different though. With Matsuda's help, Misa was going to work up the courage to return to the investigation room.
"Misa Misa! Today is the day! Your grand return to the Kira Investigation Taskforce!" He announced that morning as he opened up all the curtains in her apartment, letting the light in. Misa winced at the sudden brightness.
"Oh boy. I just can't wait..." She said not sounding the least bit enthusiastic.
"Misa! Don't you want to show everyone how well you're doing?"
"I guess? Yeah..." She said, biting her nails anxiously.
"And don't you want to make a statement about how strong you are?"
"Yeah" She said a little louder.
"And don't you want to show L and Light how wrong they were to mistreat you?" He asked her enthusiastically.
"YEAH! I got this Matsu!" She said, getting up off the couch. "Wait...Light is back?!"
"Yeah, he came back last week" He told her.
Misa groaned and fell back on the couch. She really didn't feel like seeing both Light and L. While she didn't feel anything for Light anymore, she hadn't seen him since she found out she was pregnant and she didn't want any trouble.
"It's gonna be fine Misa. Things aren't as tense as you would think. It should be alright" Reassured Matsuda.
"...I don't know..." She said, biting her lip. "Oh what the hell. I'm gonna get ready and walk in there looking like it's my birthday!" She said with a fire in her eyes.
"That's the spirit! I'll wait while you get ready, ok?" Said Matsuda.
"Thanks so much. I don't know what I'd do without a friend like you" She told him before going to pick out her outfit.
...In the main investigation Room...
"Man, what are we doing here, Ryuzaki? How many Kiras are we looking for?" Asked Aizawa, disgruntled.
"We are looking for two Kiras. Kira number 3 and Kira number 1." Responded L shortly, without taking his eyes off his computer screen. He reached over to a bowl of chocolate-covered strawberries next to him and grabbed one. It was the first time in days that he'd had anything sweet. Ever since his fight with Misa, he had lost his appetite completely. He'd barely slept also, which attributed the return of the dark circles under his eyes.
"What about the Second Kira? Shouldn't we find him too?"
Then, as if on cue, the door to the main investigation room opened and Matsuda walked in with Misa following right behind him.
"Matsuda where were-" Trailed off Aizawa as he caught a glimpse of Misa. "Misa...you're here!"
Upon hearing Misa's name, both L and Light turned toward the door. L felt a wave of relief at the sight of her, and it was then that he realized just how much he missed having her around him. She greeted everyone with a smile that wasn't quite as bright as it used to be. She walked past everyone else until she reached her seat next to him.
"Hi L. Hi Light." She said, nonchalantly before sitting down. The two men simply eyed her, one with suspicion, the other with curiosity. Misa ignored them equally.
"Watari, can you please bring me the documents I asked for?" She asked to no one in particular. Watari's jovial voice over the intercom announced that he would be right over. "Thanks so much! You're a dear" She said. L continued to look at her. Misa couldn't take it anymore. She was doing her best to ignore the beating of her heart, the fluttering feeling she got when she looked at that stupid panda that broke her heart into pieces. Now he was staring at her, and she felt as though he was looking right through the facade she'd worked so hard to construct.
"You know that it's really rude to stare, right?" She said turning to him with an attitude. Just then, Watari came into the room, carrying a stack of papers that was as thick as the Kira Case portfolio that Mogi compiled. The old man dropped the papers off on Misa's desk and she happily accepted them. 'Finally, something to get my mind off things' She thought. L looked over at the stack of papers and she narrowed her eyes at him. Before he could say anything, she briskly took the stack of papers, stood up from her seat and went over to sit next to Mogi.
"Mochi, I'm keeping you company. I can't work with rude people peering over my shoulder all the time." She said, giving L a pointed look. She dropped the papers off and then went back to L's side and grabbed the bowl of chocolate-covered strawberries just as he was about to reach for another. He looked at her, surprised by her stealing his strawberries.
"Don't give me that look, you weirdo. It's the least you owe me after all you've done!" She snapped at the confused L.
Aizawa whistled, impressed with Misa's outcry against the detective.
"Well someone's in the dog house!" Commented Aizawa jokingly. L bit his thumb and turned back to his work. 'I'm...in the doghouse?' He thought, still confused.
A very intrigued Light Yagami was studying the scene before him closely, measuring the situation. Things seemed to be tipping in his favor and he could barely contain his elation. 'This is going to be easier than I thought...' He thought as he decided to set his plan in motion.