End Games

Chapter 39: Again

Everything was set. Their belongings were packed, their plane tickets to the U.S. were bought, and their hotel reservations were made. In less than half a day, L would be with Misa. He could hardly wait to hold her in his arms again. He knew that after 3 years of waiting, 12 hours should have felt like nothing, yet each hour felt maddeningly drawn out for him.
"Ah, we almost forgot the chocolates..." He muttered, disappearing into the bedroom.
While he was preoccupied, there was a loud rap at the door. Watari answered it, opening the door to the two unexpected guests standing in the doorway. They were Roxy and the male bartender known only as 'Sea Bass.'
"I'm sorry, I told her she shouldn't have come here. I tried to dissuade her," Said the male bartender, holding Roxy.
The distraught woman shrugged his hands off forcefully and marched inside.
"Where is he, Watari? Where is Ryuzaki?" She demanded, looking frazzled.
Her dark makeup was runny and black eyeliner trailed down her cheeks, proof that she had been crying. Her hair was messier than usual and she was still wearing the clothes from the night before.
L walked out of the bedroom with a chocolate bar in his mouth and stopped mid-stride when he saw Roxy going straight for him. In a rush, he gulped down the chunk of chocolate and braced himself for the inevitable slap to the face, or maybe even a punch. It was hard to tell which one it would be as Roxy was quite fierce and unpredictable when she was angry. Surprisingly, he receive neither of those, as she instead threw herself at him, crying.
"Ryuzaki, don't leave! I know you told me you didn't love me, but... I do! I love you, and I want you to stay here, please, I'll do anything to make you stay!" She pleaded, sobbing into his shirt.
L tentatively held her, trying to let her off easy.
Roxy looked up at him and took his face in her hands. "I thought I could do this no-strings-attached thing with you, but I fell in love with you... I know it was stupid of me to hold back and pretend that we were just hooking up. I thought that maybe if I tried hard and after spending so much time together that maybe you would feel the same way, and realize that you love me too!" She told him, caressing his face with hopeful tears in her eyes.
L took her hands and placed them at her sides.
"Roxy... I'm grateful for your company but to think that you could make me fall for you was a bold assumption on your part. I can't imagine why you would think that would happen after I was clear with you that I couldn't love you," He said quietly.
"Wh-what? You're wondering why I thought I could change your mind about loving me?"
L nodded his head once.
She broke away from him abruptly. "Because! Because when people say that it's JUST FUCKING, it's NEVER. JUST. FUCKING. It's always something more, people get attached to one another, shit happens, and in the end, it's NEVER just no-strings-attached, fucking..."
"It was when I said it," He told her.
She stared at him blankly for a moment. "Liar. You're a liar."
L gave her a sad smile. "That may be, but in this case I'm actually telling the truth. I don't love you Roxy, and I can't stay with you because I want to be with Misa. She's waiting for me right now, so I'm going," He said simply.
With that he looked at Watari and motioned to the door. The old man nodded and picked up a suitcase, ready to go. Roxy gave L a pleading look as Sea Bass took hold of her arm.
"No! Don't touch me, Sea Bass!" Roxy yelled as she broke away from him and latched onto L's arm. "Ryuzaki, look at me! You say you don't love me even a little bit, but then, why did you give me all those expensive necklaces and rings and things?! Why?! Even the old man said you never gave shit to Misa! The fact that you did this for me and not for her means something right?! Tell the truth!"
"... It meant nothing. Money is only a means to an end and when I spend it inordinately, I always make more, hence buying you jewelry wasn't a gesture of love on my part and it didn't mean that you were more special to me than Misa. I apologize if it came across that way," He said coolly.
"But... but..."
"Roxy, please. You heard him, he doesn't want you. Now that you have your closure, we should go" Said Sea Bass sympathetically.
"STOP IT! I'm not going anywhere! Ryuzaki, if... if you leave here today, I'm going to kill myself!" Roxy cried, fresh tears trailing down her cheeks.
"Roxy..." Gasped Sea Bass.
"I swear it! I will! I'll kill myself and then you'll have that on your conscience forever, Ryuzaki!"
L sighed and looked at Sea Bass.
"Please get her some help," He told the male bartender. Sea Bass nodded and promised L that he would.
"Thank you," Said L.
"Ryuzaki, I'm sorry but we're running behind schedule," Watari informed him.
"So we are. Take care," He said to Roxy and Sea Bass.
"No! Ryuzaki!" Roxy screamed as Sea Bass took her in his arms and hugged her tightly. She struggled fruitlessly against him as L and Watari left the suite without so much as a backwards glance.
L and Watari promptly boarded the elevator, neither saying a word about what had just happened. Despite his silence and normal, neutral expression Watari could tell that L was troubled.
"That was... intense. What are you thinking?" Watari asked him.
"I'm thinking of how that was absurd. I really did try my best to be honest this time around but it still ended badly," L said, looking down.
"Well, sometimes it just doesn't work out, but for what it's worth, I think you handled this splendidly. You were very honest with your intentions and although I'm not a fan of Miss Roxy or this casual relationship you had with her, I'd say I'm proud of the way you managed this," Watari praised him with a smile.
"Well thanks, Wammy. I rather enjoy doing things right for a change," Replied L, cheering up.
"Although, if you don't mind me saying, I think this proved just how special Misa is to you. I doubt any woman will be able to fulfill you emotionally, physically, and mentally like she did."
"It's interesting you should say that because I've thought about that as well. At first I had my doubts because I lacked solid proof of that theory, but obtaining such proof would be difficult, time-consuming, and impractical, not to mention mathematically impossible. After dating Roxy, I've come to accept the same conclusion you have regarding Misa."
"Good. So what will you do about it?"
L gave him a puzzled look. "What do you mean, what will I do about it?"
"Well, L... if you've reached the conclusion that Misa is the only woman you would want to be by your side, perhaps for the rest of your life and she reaches the same conclusion about you then, that means something and..."
"Yes? Go on..."
Watari hoped L would have caught on by now.
"And... you should do something about it!"
"I should do something about it," L repeated.
"Yes. Do something about it" Said Watari firmly. L cocked his head a little.
"OK... I get the sense you want me to figure this out on my own, correct?" He asked.
"That is correct."
"I see..." Said L, pondering over Watari's words. Moments later, the elevator finished its descent to the main lobby and the doors slid open.
"Very well, Wammy. I'm 90% certain that I know what you're hinting at," L informed him. Watari looked at him over his spectacles.
"And? What are your thoughts?"
"It's daunting. However, I'm not opposed to it since it is Misa... for now I think the sensible course of action would be to first meet with her, assess the situation, and based on that, maybe I'll 'do something about it.'"
Watari beamed at him. "I couldn't agree more. Nothing would make me happier."