Falling for the enemy

{12} Regrets

What have I done wrong? Was I too bold and too fast? Shouln't I have said it immediately? I'm so stupid! Everything I do is wrong. I chose a job that doesn't satisfy my dad. I won the elections for mayor but screw these. He is disappointed. I'm a disappointement. Not even my own mother accepts me. I'll never do anything right. There are only two people I can trust. But the one doesn't know about my mom and I think it's too early to tell her.

"Hey thanks for coming" I said my face red from crying.

"Of course. I never thought she would leave just like that" Noah said rubbing my back.

"Neither did I. She said I should never contact her again. Am I such a horrible person that she doesn't even want to know me?" I said ready to cry again.

"No no no. You're an amazing person. Never say that again! You hear me?" he said coming close enough.

"Thanks" I said and he wiped a tear that fell.

Seconds after his lips where touching mine. We were now kissing but something stopped me.

"Uh I'm sorry I didn't-" he stuttered.

"No no no. It's just. My last relationship didn't end up well. I just need to be sure that you want this. Us" I said looking at him in the eyes.

YOU STUPID BITCH WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU KISS HER!?!? CAPTAIN WAS PRETTY CLEAR! DON'T FALL FOR HER! You'll hate me Oli. I'm sorry.

"You are right.I got caught up from the moment. I don't want this. I'm sorry" I said and left not even looking at her. I just wanted to go hug her so tight and tell her I lied. Because I did lie. This girl was driving me nuts. I wasn't allowed to fall for her but this was more than a crush. I think I might love her! I shouldn't mix job with romance. FUCK!!

He dumbed me. All this was a lie. I fell for the wrong person. Again. Why the fuck did I let myself love him? I'm never allowing myself fall for a boy ever again. All they do is hurt me. And I'm not even learning my lesson. I'm so stupid. I should propably get home. I'm regretting everything. Loving Noah, trying to fix my relationship with my mom, getting into theatre. That's it. Everything has happened because of theatre. I'm never going there. Ever again.

"Dad" I cried and ran in my dad's hug.

"What happened sweetie?" he said worried.

"I'm sorry. You were right about everything" I said crying.

"What are you sorry about honey?" he asked still hugging me.

"I love you dad" I cried even more.

"Can you please explain?" he sounded really worried.

"It's nothing. I just want to stay like this for a little bit" I cried and stayed at his hug.