February 5, 2021

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Hey, So hello. I know it has literally been months but I just have been so busy these couple of months. I have been stretched thin these weeks and months; with my family and my boyfriend and my friends too. On top of that, school has been absolute hell for months now. I've just been stressed for a while. 

So one thing that my mom talked to me, and a lot that has happened that affects my life now and has made me think of children. It makes me think of me "having kids" or at least thinking about children in general. The thing about is that I don't really like kids. I don't like toddlers or babies or things like that. Does that make me a horrible person? yes, absolutely it can. I just don't know in general about if I want kids. My mom said, "No, I don't see you being a mother." I mean okay. What am i going to tell her?? I do not want kids so why does it matter if shee wants to tell me that.

So yea, my older sister is pregnant and she is due in May,  so I can't wait for that and around that time she will be moving back into our house so I can't wait for that either. On top of that, my boyfriend lost him grandmother yesterday  in the morning and that is something that has been tough for him for a while. His mom is getting the worst of it and she is struggling everyday but its something that he will help her though. 

Anyways, I have been okay i think. Ive just so tired all the time and i always need to sleep more. I am constantly sleeping and struggling to stay awake during my classes. That has always been such an issue with me. On top of that, I have been struggling to keep my weight off. It has been hard to just eat right for some reason. So theres that. 

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