June 18, 2022

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Hello, again, this is another one of my inconsistent checking in. 

Today I feel slightly worse than the last couple of days? I almost completely blame it on Joji's new song, Glimpse of Us, it pulls at the heart strings and my god does it make everything else in the world hurt. I will say that I am not much of a blamer of people, I honestly know that I do this to myself. Its fucking crazy and I know there is some psychology under that, that there is some childhood "trauma" that happened and explains why I am like this now.

Sometimes I wish I could stop feeling, I wish everything could stop. I also wish the universe would get the balls and tell me what to do. There are logical answers to that, logical choices to make that would fix all of of this but at this point I am 

Edit July 16: I'm gonna go ahead and publish this bc its been sitting here for too long. Thank you.

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