Dark side of me

Chapter 11: The truth

            For last four weeks I was almost everyday at Malfoy's manor, since our parents had secret meetings. I was with Draco all the time, doing random stuff. Let's say that we go through days without fighting, well now and then he still let his anger out on me, but I'm used to it, because I know how bad is his relationship with Lucius – I saw daily how badly he was treated. But after all he became a good friend, he listens to me while I ease my soul and gives me advices. I still had nightmares about Cedric, it was exhausting.

One day we were curious about those secret meetings our parents had, so we decided to go eavesdrop.

'Can you hear anything?' I whispered at him.

'Yes, one idiot talking to me, shut up.' He responded at me and tried to listen harder, but no luck.

'Let's go, they probably isolated the room with a spell, it's a waste of time.' He sighed. I nodded and followed him into the kitchen. He grabbed his favorite snack, green apple and offered me one as well. He was crazy about them.

'What do you want to do? Shall we go somewhere?' he asked. I narrowed my eyebrows and he continued ''With apparition... I've done it few times already, so I'm pretty sure I can do it successfully.' He was quite proud of himself.

'And where would we go Draco?' I asked while chewing.

'Talking with full mouth, very attractive. I don't know maybe Diagon alley?' he thought out loud. 'Or maybe somewhere in the nature?'

'I'd rather go somewhere in the nature. I think I have just the right spot. It's one of my favorites – Lake Windermere.' I explained.

'Let's go there then. Grab my hand.' And so I did. I grabbed his hand and within few seconds we were at the lake. Such a beautiful place to think and walk around, I could live here.

I heard a loud sigh and looked at Draco. He seemed very happy with this destination, because his mouth formed a big smile. He had a very nice smile. Seeing him happy, made me happy as well.

'Wow, it's so beautiful here.' He said while still looking at the lake.

'I came to this place a lot with my mom when I was young. Every time she had a big fight with my dad, we came here and camped for a week or two, I felt so free here.' I smiled.

He listened very careful to everything I had to say. I saw a bench near the lake and showed him to go there.

'Did your parents fight a lot?' he asked me.

'Yes they did. My dad was not interested in my life, like ever. He didn't care about my education or my interests, anything in particular. This was the main reason, why my mom started yelling at him and you know the rest. He always wanted a son and once he heard he will have a daughter, well his attitude changed.' This didn't hurt me that much like it used me before, but it still sucks.

'Well shit. I'm sorry about that Ev. He is a dick.' I laughed at this statement.

'At least mine doesn't talk to me, meanwhile yours is the opposite...How are you holding up with your dad?' I gave him a sad look.

'Hardly, but somehow I do. It's been always like this, I had to do dumb and evil stuff to make him proud, I can't be myself because of him.' I wanted to hug him and take his pain away.

'I want to share a huge secret with you, but I'm not sure if you can take it...' he looked at the lake while thinking about it.

'If you want to share something to me, you can. I'm not going to judge your or tell anyone, I can promise that. It's up to you Malfoy.' I smiled at him and put my hand on his to grab his attention. He looked at me and nodded.

'Well, if I want to explain my behavior at Hogwarts, I must tell you this as well. Well, I assume that you heard about my father being a deatheater, it's true...-' my eyes widened but I somehow knew this. '- and he is forced to do task for the Dark Lord. You know actually forced or he would kill me and my mom. And because of that I need to be rude to Harry, mudbloods and everyone you can think of. How would it look if I was Harry's or Hermione's friend? They would kill me immediately. So I had to be rude toward to you as well, because you're their friend. I hope you understand that.' He was playing with his fingers nervously.

'Also I'm pretty sure our parents meetings are about him as well...We need to get ready for his return.' he said sadly.

I was shocked at this. How shitty life he has? To live in constant fear and pretending to be someone, you're not. I pitied him. I stood up and grabbed his hands, to show him to do the same. He looked confused, probably waited for me to yell at him or anything, but instead I just hugged him tightly. He accepted this hug and suddenly I heard quiet sobs. I realized he was crying so I caressed his back.

'I'm sorry, You're the first one I told this. It feels so good to share this burden with someone.' He broke the hug and avoided eye contact.

'It's okay Draco. At least I understand your behavior better. We will make a plan for the future, you and me, okay? So you won't have to suffer like this. Trust me, it's going to be okay.'

And suddenly he leaned in and kissed me. It took me a second but once I realized what was happening, I broke the kiss.

'What are you doing?!' I whispered. But most importantly, why did I like it?!

'I'm sorry. Forget about this.' He changed his attitude in second but I could see he was hurt.

'Just shut up.' I said and kissed him back. He put his hands around my waist and pulled me closer, meanwhile I put mine on his chest. Kiss was very slow and emotional, we moved our lips in synchronized. I had butterflies in my stomach and I didn't feel those since my first kiss with Cedric. What am I doing?!

I broke our hug and I saw Draco giving me confused look. I can't believe I did that, how could I.

'Are you okay Evelyn? What happened?' he questioned me.

'It's stupid, forget it.' I didn't know if I should tell him.

'Look if you didn't judge me for my story, I will definitely not judge you. Come on, tell me.' He looked me in the eyes and cracked a small smile.

'I just feel really guilty kissing you... you know because of Cedric, I'm not sure how to act after his death. I feel like I'm betraying him.' I started to tear up. This time I avoided eye contact.

'I understand. Take your time, I won't pressure you. Whenever you're ready okay? But I want to tell you, that you shouldn't feel guilty. There is no timeline when you can date other people after partners death okay? Some people are ready after years and some sooner, don't overthink it.' He pulled me closer and put his hand over my shoulder. I was really grateful for this.

'Thank you for understanding Draco.' We sat in silence for a while. We watched sunset and then we decided to go back to Malfoy's manor.

We returned to his room and talked about quidditch and our fifth year. I heard some yelling from the downstair 'I think my mom is calling me. I'll talk to you soon?' he nodded and gave me a quick hug.

          Once I got home, I took a shower and decided to write letters to Daisy and Hermione. I told them about our kiss and asked for advice. I knew it would be shocking for them, but I also knew they wouldn't judge me and for that I was really grateful. I missed them, one more month till I see them, I can't wait.

For the rest of night, I was thinking about everything Draco told me and about our kiss. Would it be too fast to move forward? Or would it be like betraying Cedric? I really missed him but I'm very thankful for our memories we had, I will always cherish them.

Author note:

Hello lovies, I wrote shorter chapter today, hopefully you like it. Something good coming soon, stay tuned! xoxo