The Undescribable Emotion

The Undescribable Emotion - Oneshot

To nobody’s surprise- at least, nobody who knows me personally -the feeling of love is foreign to me. I do recognize familial love, needless to say, since I do have a younger sister. Other than that, however, I would be completely clueless to the subject.

To get along with someone platonically is fine, but trivial things such as romance does not suit me, nor do I think it is an interesting topic. They say that a person who you truly adore can make you smile, no matter how impassive you are. A life like mine has nothing to do with something as sickeningly-sweet as that...or so I thought.

In an immoral place like the Port Mafia, where I work, it is seldom in an uplifting atmosphere. If anything, the people here are frequently at each other’s throats, and, as much as I would like to get rid of the habit, I, myself, am included in that violence. It isn’t as horrible as people viewing from an outside perspective think it is. Yes, we do commit heinous crimes, and as such, we are branded as criminals, but, as far as I can tell, we are decently civilized people. We, like others, try to get by.

A good example of a mafioso who’s morality isn’t entirely dehumanized by his profession is the executive here- and who is also my superior -Chuuya Nakahara. Nakahara is feared by allies and foes alike due to his supernatural Ability and martial art-like combat skills. He is known to be one of the strongest in the Mafia, perhaps second in strength to our Boss, Ougai Mori. His dexterity and overall athleticism is impressive. This admiration stuck to me as soon as I saw his powers in battle.

And, as you would expect, someone who has that much authority and respect is regularly busy, which would justify my reasons as to why I was shocked when he had invited me into his workspace.

Earlier, he asked me to join him in his office, in a rather carefree attitude. Since I wasn’t assigned to do anything important that day, I agreed to his request, to which I earned the response, “Huh, I didn’t peg you to be the social type.” It almost sounded like he wanted to get on my bad side on purpose.

Nakahara escorted me to a seat inside of the room, as he then sat opposite of me. Having my own assistant, this treatment wasn’t anything new. It was strange, though. Despite knowing he wasn’t rude to his subordinates, it was still a tad surreal he treated me like this. I decided to brush it off for the time being. It was a waste of time to think about.

“So,” started Nakahara, placing his leg on top of the other. I wanted to ask as soon as I could, ‘Why did you invite me?’ but, out of respect, I waited. I didn’t have to wait as long as I originally thought, thankfully, “Akutagawa, I’ll ask you to keep what I’m about to say to you a secret unless I strictly state otherwise.” As if I had seen a ghost, my face became slightly more pale than it already was. Was I in trouble? Did I inconvenience him in some way? When he puts it like that, I couldn’t help but break a sweat. Fortunately, my nervousness quickly became short-lived.

“Despite having the authority to do..well, basically almost everything to you guys, I do care about all of my subordinates.” His words, contrary to my expressionless face, put me at a loss for words. I wasn’t overly dumbstruck. This would make sense, considering that I have never seen him abuse any of my co-workers, unless you count screaming as one of them. Although, it was always solely out of discipline as their superior. And yet, I couldn’t help but think it was something unlike a person like him to tell me.

“I understand that, but why did you ask me to come here? I still don’t know why you’ve asked me to talk with you in your office.” “Oh- that’s simple. It’s cuz of this.” To continue his sentence through actions, Nakahara pointed at my stomach. This fueled my confusion even further. “Why are you pointing at my stomach?” I asked, receiving a look of disappointment.