Alone

Death

Pain

Something that churns my stomach,
Holding it tight,
Taking in a deep breath,
To forget those things,
To forget what I just saw,
Life has really been painful.

Heading to the bathroom,
A dark room to shed my tears
Removing out all the agony,
Filled within all these years.
Lying alone, talking to myself.
Yes, feeling helpless sometimes.

Red eyes, heavy breath, pain all over my body
Those bruises which could never be forgotten.
Convincing myself that I deserve all of it,
I deserve the pain.
Wishing to die soon.

I still remember that day when he splashed the glass of water all over me,
Slapping. Beating. Screaming.
All I could do was suffer it all in silence.
Or else there wouldn't be a roof on my head.
Death is all I wished.

Thought of escaping,
Leaving that house which wasn't a home anymore.
A place where life had become miserable and difficult.
I still remember that day.

I still remember that day when I was left alone
In an abandoned corner.
An unwanted piece that was never heard,
Eating breakfast all alone in a
A classroom that never seemed to be mine.
Rumours. Embarrassment. Bullying.
School life had been a horrible nightmare.

No one knew. No one will ever know.
I still remember that night
That fight that night before the boards,
English paper and all I could do
Was remember that dreadful scene.

My life had never been normal,
Full of things I could never even speak about.
Remaining silent was all I was taught.
No option but to suffer that unspoken nightmare all ny life.
It was no better than a tragedy ruining me completely.
Making me heartless and speechless sometimes.

I always hoped that things would get better,
That nightmare would finish.
I could smile for real for once.
But that hope turned to ashes
Each time that repeated.
Each time swearing death.

Now, just have one wish to escape from this place
Or die in peace.
For once a hope dies there is nothing left.
Nothing.