the voices that heal

Chapter 4... A Step Towards my Destiny

I take in a deep breath, like my yoga instructor would always preach, and took my first step. I felt a rush fill my body as my foot passed the line that separates the outside from the inside. I lift my head and look around to see everybody staring at me with a judgemental glare.

"You should probably keep moving!" Comes a startling tinkle from a voice similar to Paddy McLeprachaun's. I whip my head around to seek out the source, but to no avail. Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me. My head just hasn't been in the right place since that happened...

A sudden body of mass collides with me from behind, interrupting my train of thought, and before I know it I find myself on the cold gravel, grit lodging itself into my exposed knees.

"That's what you get for not moving", Paddy sneers in amusement.

"Yeah, yeah", I grumble as I dust off my hands, ignoring the rising hot flush in my cheeks and the burning sensation on my eyeballs.

Suddenly, a shiny pair of black loafers enters my line of sight, and the overwhelming smell of polish wafts up my nostrils. I raise my head up slowly, and am met with a stern, disapproving set of grey eyes, and the most down turned frown I ever did see. I can see by the badge on his freshly pressed tartan suit, that his name is Principal Saelim.

"What on earth are you doing down there?" He boomed, his voice crisp with malice, "Don't you know that this is the most prestigious school in all of Stonebridge? Now get up and dust yourself off, young lady."

I try to ignore the scornful Gaelic laughter that is reverberating in my skull.

"I'm very sorry Mr. Saelim, but-"

"That's PRINCIPAL Saelim to you!" He interrupts, with a great deal of self importance. I nod awkwardly, with a touch of pity. I notice that I am still on the ground, and quickly hop onto my feet with expertise, followed by a curtesy. He is noticeably impressed, but covers it quickly with a look of disgust.

"Tell me your name child", he barks. I notice a cluster of kids scurry past us, avoiding eye contact. Something tells me that he ain't too popular with the kids! I straighten myself up, and hold my perfectly sculpted nose in the air defiantly.

"My name is Y/N, Y/L/N", I beam, hoping my charm will win him over, but instead of a look of approval, a solemn expression washes itself over his lined face, darkening his aged features.

"Y/L/N", he repeats slowly, as if it were a piece of uncooked seaweed that had no business being in his... never mind.

"I once knew a ping pong player with that last name", he sighs, "A troublesome player she was indeed, and my, well, if you want to be so crude... rival!"

He looked me up and down.

"You wouldn't happen to be...", he sucked in a breath with hesitance, "related to this individual now would you?" His face had contorted into a rather dangerous expression.

I think back to my mothers endless hours at the competitive ping pong training center. On those nights, I would sit alone in the living room, with a bowl of microwave ramen, watching reruns of Catfish on MTV. I always resented her for it, but seeing how much it made her happy... made me hate her all the more. In fact, I was thankful when her soul got shattered after she embarrassed herself in front of Five Time Texas State Ping Pong Champion, Kelly Joyce.

She had been prepping for weeks on end, but when it came down to the final match, she couldn't get a single point. She said it was the nerves that got to her, but personally, I like to think it was the guilt of making me live solely off cup ramen for three and a half weeks. Karma is ruthless!

She was never really the same after that day. Gone was the spark which filled her life so vibrantly with love, passion and excitement. Her true smile became a long lost memory, hidden in the folds of time, and was replaced by an insatiable thirst for... something. Something which could light again that spark that had blown away in the Texan wind that night. And that something was... yup! You guessed it! The fine art of wine tasting.

It all started the night after the match. She was left in a state of resentment, anger and shame, and her mood was only darkened when she realized I had eaten all the cup ramen in the house. Seeking something to fill the hole in her stomach, she found instead, something that would fill her heart. A seventeen year old bottle of Chateau Rouge had been left outside the door by a concerned neighbor. Not much of a drinker, she was hesitant at first, but the moment the dark, intensely flavored liquid grazed past her lips, something tiny lit up inside her. Though it was not near as wondrous as what was lost in her the day before, it was enough to keep her going that night.

Intoxicated by this feeling, she made it her mission to spread her take on the aromatic substance. And so started her wine tasting blog, "Funsies with Mumsies". It became an overnight hit. Mothers everywhere were enticed by the prospect of finding an escape from their fruitless marriages and overbearing children. This community full of restlessness and dissatisfaction found comfort in my mother's lyrics of region, intensity and flavor, and she became sort of a hero to them all.

Yet, despite her success, every time we drove past the Competitive Ping Pong Training Centre on our way to my Yoga classes, I would notice her eyes lingering on the Ping Pong tables through the windows, which once led to her world. The world of competitive ping pong...

I snap back to reality, and to my relief, the principal is still standing there, looking rather bored of waiting for me to respond.

"Uhh... Nope! Never heard of her!" I chirp and plaster on an innocent smile. The principal jumps at the sudden sound from my vocal chords.

"Ahh yes... what were we talking about again?" He asks, scratching his head foolishly.

"Oh nothing really!" I chuckle, "Nothing important anyways..."

"Oh! Ok then..." He says warily. "Oh! You are the new student, correct? I'll show you to your classroom."

I look up at the tall, shadowy building presenting itself before me. I take in another breath, just like before, and take a step towards my destiny.