Night visitors (ENG)

The calming water

Warning: This chapter include signs of self harming and body insecurities

The music was playing through the whole bathroom and out. Not like there was someone who would care. It was just you, the bath full of nearly boiling water, fog from it and calming feeling coming from all of this.

This and a blonde man siting on a side of the bath. He was singing along with the songs, not really care about the fact he didn't knew the lyrics. In your mind he knew everything. It was long ago you felt this relaxed. Today there was no hauted dreams, no hallucinations waiting behind the doors. You may wonder why he came but the answer was easy. Before you let your body lay down you was nearly dying from stress, lack of sleep and a rush few days you went througt.

The other true was you also needed someone to keep you company. The walls in your room was silent, people around couldn't understand you. Hizashi was someone who always knew what to say, he always knew when came the night you needed him. Easy to say it was like he was able to read your minds, but to be honest, of course he did. He was born to read them.

"Hey, stop thinking so much. My head is about to blow up." he smiled to you, scanning your body by his sight.

"Hey, stop that!" you frowned at him, when you caught his look.

"Oh, c'mon, baby. I'm just admiring your body."

That wasn't the thing you wanted to hear. Even you was desperate to hear those words your whole life, from him it wasn't right.

By your opinion the body wasn't nice. Too fat, even when it was just you who saw it. Straight scars all over your tighs, belly, stomach, ribs and hips. Round scars around you belly from cigarettes. Big one throught your whole belly as a memory of someone who left it here for you. All of them in different stade of healing. They were here to always remind you every of your falls. On your body was no muscles, reminding you how weak you were.

The depression was trying to take it's control once again. 

"No. No depressions tonight," he yelled makeing you flinch. "Look at me."

You raised your eyes to meet with his while he came closer. Sitting on his knees he put his head on the side of the bath and put his hand on your cheek.

"You are beautiful. No matter what happend, no matter what whoever said. The body is just the body. Nothing else. Even that's, by my opinion, 5 star look, your body doesn't mean everything. It's your mind, the way how you act to the others, even when they pushed you through shits lately. The fact you still trying your best in this life is what makes you special. That's what makes you beautyful. And you know I'm here to remember you this everytime you need to hear it," he gave you a smile and a little kiss. "And now get out of the water, it's cold for a good ten minutes."

You rolled your eyes up and took the towel. Wraping yourself you felt Hizashi by your back. He hug you from behind and turn you to mirror. In the moment you tryed turn your sighn out he catched your chin. 

"Don't look away. Look at you. Not how you feel about yourself, just strictly on the person in front of you. Do you see yourself?"

You nodded, but doesn't say anything.

"And now close your eyes. When you open them again, try to look at the person in front of you. Forget it's you. You don't know them. It's just someone you met on streets. Tell me, what do you see?"

"Hizashi stop. You know, this is not going to help. I'm fine, ok?"

"Fine. Then look at us. Together. Look how happy I'm to have you in my arms. If you think you are bad, then look at the whole picture. Look how pretty you are in my arms. Look how strong we are together."

You looked once again. Not on you, but on two people in front of you. They looked fine together. Happy blonde man holding a person in front of him. The little smile crossed their face when he gave them a kiss to the hair. 

"See, you're cute, when you're smiling," Hizashi laugh and you gave him a little punch before you answered with smile and rolled eyes, knowing well, this time he won the battle.

"I hate you, man."