cloudy with a Chance of freedom

chapter 17

"Wait...
Padfoot is going to be our DADA teacher?" said the twins in shock.

"After someone finally claimed the bounty on Lockhart, yes. At least temporarily since he hasn't completed his therapy yet. Moony is planning to take over for the Care of Magical Creatures class with Hagrid as his assistant and substitute next year," said Skull, sipping his coffee.

"Bounty?"

"I posted a joke 'bounty' to see how long it took bored male students and less than amused females with actual taste to drive Lockhart out of the castle or into St. Mungo's for sanity issues. Camellia just paid it out yesterday to Flint and Chang. Anyway he said he wanted better access to get us with some 'proper' pranks and to see McGonagall's head explode."

Remus would make a good COMC teacher, and with Hagrid to cover him for full moons things would work out perfectly.

Snape had looked sour about the whole idea of both Marauders in the castle again, teaching, until Skull cheerfully pointed out a simple fact that he had forgotten.

"Harry" was a Slytherin, and thus had no reason to hold back on a pair of former Gryffindors, and this meant Snape could drop all sorts of insinuations about it being "That time of the month" for Lupin and discreetly delivering him feminine hygiene products every full moon on top of giving him lady's undergarments.

As for Sirius... well Skull had found out by accident the first time around that he was very vulnerable to a common dog whistle...even outside his dog form, he could still hear the bloody thing. So was Remus, for that matter, but only during his monthly transformations.

Snape looked like Skull had handed him the crown jewels with that information. And damn near hugged him when Skull proudly handed him his own dog whistle in a nicely wrapped box...with the reminder not to use it in the Slytherin dorms since Skull was the official caretaker of Hagrid's Cerberus Fluffy.

"You're going to be driving them both up the walls, aren't you?" asked Fred.

"Hell yes! Half the fun of pranks is driving another prankster insane and proving your superiority!"

"McGonagall is going to kill us," said George, already grinning at the thought.

"What's the worst she can do? I've checked the rules inside and out, and there's not a single one that says you can't unleash chaos via pranks. They can assign detentions and take away points, but they can't legally expel you," said Skull.

Blaise suddenly materialized by his side and had him by the ear.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't explain that to them without giving me forewarning."

"I'm not... I'm just telling them that the old cat can't expel them for pranking the hell out of the Marauders and Snape will likely look the other way as long as they don't target him."

"Does this have anything to do with the broken whistle you gave Snape?"

"It's actually a dog whistle," said Skull helpfully. "And if it helps I'll show you how to use the Marauder's Map so you know when to avoid certain areas of the castle if you see certain people spending a wee bit too much time around it that you know are pranksters."

"Give up the map to someone who would use it to avoid our pranks?"

"Let me rephrase that in a way you'd appreciate. He uses the map and agrees to act as our alibi if the teachers stumble across our pranks and says he was with us in a random abandoned classroom the entire time so it wasn't us."

"Oh. Well if you put it like that,"said Fred appreciatively.

"Besides, McGonagall might be willing to look the other way if you're willing to sacrifice a bit of dignity," said Skull.