obsessed | anna nishikinomiya [completed]

f i f t e e n

[Flashback chapter] ❗light mention of depression
italic - flashback

If only I could save you from dying. The way you could only smile when I asked you what's wrong and you answered a 'nothing' while to me you are everything.

2 years ago...
You were a new student at the academy and you said that you were such an inept. Teacher told you to sit beside me even though I wished it was Haruka.

You approached me and tried to talk to me several times but I denied. How you would follow me around like a lost puppy irritated me. I asked you to befriend with the girls and you did.

Instead of taken aback, you said that it was the first time I talked to you and you thanked me for talking to you.

I didn't know the answer but you already left when I felt the need to ask you something. The audacity in my guts told me to talk to you the next day.

Your friends said that you were lucky to talk to me and you smiled softly secretly at me when they kept talking.

I ignored your subtle motions when you would put your palm on top of my hand when the teachers were teaching. You said that my hands are warm and that was actually because my face reflected the temperature.

For once in my life of getting attentions, I want only your attention to me. I want your attention instead of constantly avoid contacts with people.

Haruka told me that maybe I fell for you. At first, I denied that completely and reasoned that you were my first girl friend.

We hangout together, even when the night came, you called me to stargaze. Father knew about you and he told me to bring you with me for dinner.

I smiled when you didn't know what dress to buy when we went shopping. I told you the white dress suits you the best and you agreed, saying that I have a good fashion sense.

Father and Mom liked you when the dinner have already finished. Mom told you to come here often and I noticed how you would play with your fingers and I thought you were nervous.

When I held your hand, it was cold and trembling. I rubbed my thumb on your knuckles to assure you that everything is gonna be alright.

The next day you came to school wearing a white ribbon tie to your hair and I swore I could see an angel in you. I thought that was pure but for you it was darkness.

Pure and white couldn't be mixed when they came to you. People would mourn deaths with black but there you were, planning and waiting for your death with white everything.

Was it because I said white suits you the best? Why did that happen? I would love to see you in a white dress to your wedding but there you were.

White dress for your funeral. Why you never told me that you were sick? Why you never ask for help and decided to be selfless?

Your friends were waiting for you, but you never come back. The regret, shallow and broken heart was all I have when the news came to me before I went to bed.

I swore that your face held so much warmness and purity when I arrived there. Your father thanked me for being with you always and I didn't know what to say.

When I couldn't notice every signs, you saw me as your saviour. Now, who would be my saviour? I lost my attention, my friend, and my love.

I regret the moment that I denied the feeling when I could just confess, be there for you forever and love you always. How stupid those ignorance.

Why, Sakura-chan. You never told me you were depressed, in need for help and just let yourself drown in the pool of darkness? Why?