SOMETHING TO FORGET (BUCKY BARNES X OC)

Chapter 30

TW: None
Word Count: 2210

We had Steve initiate a deep sweep of all of the floors. Every single piece of tech that wasn't Stark Industries made or previously identified was immediately found and destroyed, including the devices they planted in my room and the gym. No one was found on any of the floors other than the party, so Happy was in the lobby keeping track of the people leaving.

Within the next half hour, Bucky and I were on his bed. He'd asked me more about the texts as he held my head to his chest. "I don't know why I let him get to me still I know I shouldn't but I just do and I don't want that to get in between us because I like where I am right now for once in my life," I said quickly in one breath. He pulled away from me and looked down at me.

"What did you say?" He asked, forcing a laugh.

"I'm just so sorry, Bucky. I really am. I just should've told you when they started." I pulled out my phone and we sat on the side of his bed as I watched him go through all the texts I got from the number.

"I— why didn't you tell me about these when they started?"

"I don't know. I'm so stupid."

"Yes," he said, nodding. "But I'm just glad nothing worse happened."

"I wish I knew why, you know?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Why what?"

"Why me," I said, starting to tear up. "Why did it have to be me?" I looked towards his metal hand and thought about how selfish I probably sounded. I looked at my hands before burying my face in them. "I'm sorry. I know I have it so much better than so many people. I sound selfish."

"I wonder why I was picked all the time too. It could've been a lot worse. Without Steve, I'd still be under HYDRA's control. It could've been a lot worse for you too."

"But it could've been so much better for us."

"We could be picking out baby names right now," he said quietly. I leaned my head on his shoulder and grabbed onto his arm.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"But—"

"You know it's not your fault. Stop thinking it is."

We sat in silence for a few minutes. "What are you thinking of?"

He looked at me before down at his hands. "I shouldn't have stopped when you told me to. Now we have to figure out who's sending all of those texts for him, and then I can break Cody out of prison to finish the job."

"Buck—"

"Don't tell me he doesn't deserve it, because he does. He took so much from you. You used to be more lively, more you. You're upset that you're off the team right now, but when anyone mentions getting back to the gym and training, you tense up every single time. The way you walk is different. Hell, you even laugh differently. I'm sorry if I rambled on, but this has been on my mind for a while now."

"You're right," I whispered quietly. "I just want to forget about everything."

"I know." A few minutes of silence passed before I decided to speak up, a lump forming in my throat before I did, though.

"W-when I woke up on the couch earlier, you didn't look at me like you usually do," I said cautiously, not really wanting to bring it up, but I want to be as open as I can be with him. "Like you said, so much of me has changed. And I— I don't know—" I couldn't complete my thought.

"What do you mean?" I shrugged silently, tears coming to my eyes again. "Daisy, what are you telling yourself?"

"Do you still love me?" I asked, looking towards the floor. I heard him let out a sigh before grabbing my face gently.