~TEARS~ {a oisuga mental hospital AU}

save me

<trigger warning: anxiety attack or something, I don't know what to call it>

When I wake up a soft light is coming through the window. I roll over and see that the gray haired boy is still asleep, he looks so peaceful, i wonder why he's here?

I lay silently, thinking about my past few days.

I feel ashamed......... everyone feels like this! I'm not special! I should have been able to deal with this! I curl into the fetal position, tears are streaming out of my eyes.

I hate this. I want to go back in time and re-wind. I'll always have to live with the fact that I attempted scuicied.

My head hurts so bad. Like there's a huge pressure everywhere. Guilt. Shame. Anxiety. It's all compounding! INTO JUST ONE HORRIBLE FEELING I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM.

I HAVE TO HOLD IT TOGETHER. I CAN'T MOVE. I CANT BREATH. I CAN'T THINK. I can't....... I can't do it. Help me. Help me please. I cant fucking do it any more. It hurts me. All of me. I need help.

I scream.

Louder than I've ever screamed. I don't care, just get me out of this hell. In between nowhere and everywhere

I keep screaming, I see movement, but I don't register it. Everything is confusing and painful. I need help.

I feel a prick in my arm and my breathing slows, I gasp for breath and feel myself falling asleep.

I've been saved.

A/N- I know this chapter was really short, but I think it was a good natural ending for it, and I also want to explain what happened, I don't think its really clear.

so, the fog was gone, with the fog gone Oikawa had to face the shame he felt with being put in a mental hospital, because of this he had a sort of panic attack thing. 

what i described, idk what it is. I've had many of these types of things, and i wanted to try to put that feeling into words. I think I did okay.