Ok. But First Coffee (A Lost In The MCU FanFic)

In Which I Render a Glorified Reindeer Speechless

I looked like that kid who finds out that at the high school they go to,

It's acceptable to quote HSM

Except we ain't cuing any tears of joy over here friends.

I opened my eyes and the first thought was that it was very dark.

And loud.

And that the glowy blue cube in front of me was most likely the tessaract.

And if I was in the MCU could I have chimichangas with Deadpool?

As you can see I am most likely not sane.

I glanced around calmly. My best guess was I was in Asgards vaults. The Tessaract was here so it was after the first time the Avengers got together, and before Loki took the Tessaract. By the sounds of it Hela and Thor were fighting upstairs. I continued to look at the cube.

"Should I help?" I asked the darkness. 

PAUSE.

Why am I so calm you ask? Well one, it hasn't really sunk in. And two I'm not really a big marvel fan. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the Marvel Universe, I'm just not a big fan. I only have extensive knowledge of it because of my friends tying me to a chair and making me watch it. I'd rather go into the fire swamp. So I didn't really have incentive to help, plus helping could get me killed. Definitely would be a bonus not to die at 21.

UNPAUSE.

Loki was late for getting the Tessaract and Surtur's 'long eyebrow thing', I thought, grabbing the Tessaract just as I heard footsteps. Oh the irony.

"You're late to get Surtur's crown." I said without turning to look at him.

"Who are y- What are you doing with the Tes-"

I didn't let him finish "You were gonna take the Tessaract weren't you?" I turned to Loki and cocked my head to the side.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I-"

"Loki Odinson, biological son of Lauphey, frost giant, of Asgard." I said bluntly, staring at him curiously, my eyes scanning his features. "Burdened with glorious purpose yada yada yada yada."

"How- wait, are you mocking me?" He asked, frustration and the smallest hint of surprise passing over his features.

"Maybe, maybe not." I shrugged nonchalantly "You tell me."

He glared at me "Listen I don't know who you are but-"

"Loki dear, listen, I AM YOUR FATHER." I stopped for a moment then laughed "I crack myself up, but seriously, I want you to go release Surtur, and then I want to be introduced to Thor."

He stared at me dumbfounded and I just stared right back "You okay there you glorified reindeer?  Cause' your brother is missing an eye and at this point imma have to release our lovely friend myself."

At my words Loki quickly moved around me, grabbing the crown and releasing Surtur, sending me one last glare as I grabbed his arm, using the Tessaract to teleport into the ship that Korg and Loki had stolen from The Grandmaster, landing right in front of The Hulk, Thor, and Valkerie.

"Who the hell is this?!" exclaimed Valkerie to Loki, completely ignoring me.

"Listen up hon." I said, shifting the Tesseract in my hands "It is standing right here, and it has an insane story, but what you need to know about 'it' is that it knows everything about you, and knows the events of the next 5 or so years, so I'd shut up if I were you."

Thor looked at me surprised for a moment, before saying "Will you help us then fair maiden?" Ah, to be young and naive again, the joy.

"WAIT UP." Said Valkerie at the same time I said "Why should I help you?"

They looked at me in brief surprise before Valkerie said "Prove you are who you say you are."

"I haven't said who I am, I only barely know where I am, AND FOR GODS SAKE I'M NOT IN MY DIMENSION!" I yelled as the realization finally sunk in.

"Oh my Goddess, I'm not in my dimension."

A/N

Yay me! I posted another chapter! I'm still alive! I'm passing Math!

I'm a weirdo!

lol but seriously this book is mostly for myself, cause all i'm seeing is zeros, in both my non-existent bank account an in the amount of views I have. I also just posted this story sooo yeah. I have no logic.

Not that I'm complaining, writing this shit is fun~