Damon

Chapter 11

Positivity.

That is what I need. And being positive is exactly what I am going to do. Sure I may have lost my boyfriend, my best friend, and my backstabber of a father messaged me but you know what? I am doing just fine.

That is a lie.

I am completely broken inside but I'll pretend at least for today that everything is okay. It is a new day and who knows what today has in store. Maybe all these changes are the start of a new beginning. Jacob and Jen had their purpose in my life and now it is time to start a new and meet other people.

I walk into school deciding to get to my classroom early. It's been a slow day so far and all I've been thinking about is how I am going to get done all this homework my teachers are assigning. They act like we have no lives and have all our time to dedicate to school work. I feel so much hatred towards the person who invented homework.

I'm in my last class before lunch and my stomach is already growling. Unfortunately, the class is so quiet, you can hear everyone breathing as they all focus on our quiz and I mentally scold my tummy for embarrassing me.

Lunch finally comes around and I'm excited to munch on the turkey sandwich I made for myself. It is another day of unfortunately sitting by myself since I don't have the two people I sit with anymore. But, I shouldn't think about them. Honestly, fuck them. I'll find better friends one day. Hopefully.

The sandwich is just as good as I thought it would be. As I enjoy the flavors dancing around on my tongue, I try not to look in the direction of where I used to sit. I know they're there but if I look at them, all the emotions I am trying to block out right now will flood me.

Don't look.
Don't look.
Don't look.

Before I can stop myself, my eyes wander towards that corner of the cafeteria, and my stomach drops.

Fuck. Why did I do that?

Whatever I thought I would see was not what was happening before my eyes. Jen and Jacob are sitting at our table but they are holding hands.

Holding hands?

Since when do they hold hands? Their fingers are interlocked and resting on the table and Jacob says something to Jen that makes her laugh and almost spit out her soda. I feel a stinging feeling inside me that grows with every second I look at them. Before I can even comprehend what is going on, I see Jacob grab onto the side of Jen's face and pull her in for a kiss.

The stinging feeling grows at a rapid speed and my face feels numb. Did I just see that right? My ex-best friend and ex-boyfriend are kissing? No, I didn't see that correctly. I'm imagining things. I witness as she goes in for another kiss and before I can stop myself, tears start gushing out of my eyes.

I can't do this.

Leaving my half-eaten sandwich that I couldn't care less about anymore, I grab my bag and run to the bathroom. I need to be anywhere but here.

I slam open one of the stalls, ignoring the stares from the girls doing their makeup at the mirror and I let the tears fall down. The image of their lips touching replays in my head. I feel my face getting hot and my nose getting stuffy but I don't care. I hate them so much. How can they disrespect me like this? They're monsters. Did they have feelings for each other when I was still around? Were they secretly together and now that they both dumped me they can go public? Did they bond so much over how they hate me that they caught feelings? Either way, this is making me sick to my stomach.

I hear the bell ring to signal lunch is over. My face and eyes are most likely red and it is quite obvious that I was crying. I pull the hood of my sweater over my head and pull the fronts of my hair over the sides of my face and then head to class. It is going to be such a challenge to go the rest of the day without crying.

I managed to keep my crying to a minimum and hopefully nobody noticed. School ended and I am waiting outside for my mom to pick me up. A familiar giggling sound is heard from my right and I mistakingly look over. Jen and Jacob decide to sit at the bench ten feet away from me and I have a feeling it was on purpose.

I make eye contact with Jen and I can see the amusement in her eyes as she leans over to hug Jacob. He kisses her on her forehead and lays his head on hers. I don't think he's even noticed me looking but Jen sure is getting a kick out of it.

"Jake, I can't wait to come over tonight. We have the place to ourselves tonight, right? So we can do anything we want?" Jen seductively says to Jacob, louder than her usual volume.

"Yeah, I already told you this." Jacob states confused as to why she's bringing it up.

Poor Jacob is obviously oblivious to what Jen is actually trying to do. She wants me miserable. I wouldn't be surprised if she's just using him to get back at me. She has never told me that she was interested in Jacob. This is too random to be genuine.

"I know, I'm just making sure because I have a lot of things planned for us and I hope you have condoms." Jen states as I see her looking over at me.

She wants me jealous and it's working. I pretend I didn't hear her but I know she knows I did. And she knows me too well to know that it is affecting me a lot. I guess Jacob is finally getting what he wanted out of a relationship. I wish I can be happy for him but that just pisses me off. It's no question that I'd be upset if he found someone all ready to have sex with but with Jen? I start grinding my teeth from the anger that is boiling up inside me. Why is everything going wrong in my life?